Hummingbird Haven

Yesterday the dietician made a plan for me.  I was so tired and weak after a week of diarrhea and fasting for a blood draw.  They took 11 vials.  Maybe she thought I couldn't make my own plan.

But really I need to decide what I want.  It's my body, my life, my health, my time.

I wanted to do it this morning.  But I've been busy doing a hundred things.  Got stressed about Ming's de-escalation training that's happening Saturday.

I need to relax, take it easy, not take on other people's problems.  But it is a radical mental health collective event too. 

I wish I could be there, but there's no way I have the stamina for a three hour event considering there's also driving time, set up, tear down.

Well people and sick people.  Sometimes I feel the well will never understand me.  She's sitting there telling me I will get more energy from exercising. 

I've been me for 42 years.  And exercise has never given me energy.  It's always taken it away. 

Does she think I have no experience with exercise?  I told her I went for a walk almost every day for 15 years.  Her textbook cliche doesn't match my experience.  She didn't ask my experience.

Lies.  Like the dentist telling me if I kept flossing, my gums would get tough and it wouldn't hurt so much.  I flossed two weeks, believing him, crying.

I am so tired, I have to budget to take a shower.  I am so tired, I can do one thing a day.  I am so tired.

Unrelatedly, I got some lemongrass tea that's so good.

This is my friend's herb shop.

https://hummingbirdhavenherbs.com