dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Sunday, October 04, 2015


I thought I loved this computer for being an Acer and a Chromebook.  Then I bought an Acer that ran Windows 8 and realized it wasn't the Acer-ness that I liked, just the Chromebook-ness.  Windows hurts me.

Is it too early in the morning for Bjork?

This morning I woke up from a dream I had starred in a movie.  It involved coughing up rabbits.  A journalist interviewed me and I did a terrible job.  I was worried the movie was going to be a flop.

Then there was a part where a big wave caught me, and I was being sucked out to sea by a rip tide created by a storm.  But I swam hard diagonally and escaped the rip tide.  But my phone had been in my pocket, and it was ruined.

Saturday, October 03, 2015

book review


I reviewed a book that my bestie published.

two poems

Last night we went to an event to support our friends who were the stars of the event.  It was a practice for something that will be presented in two weeks at the Parliament of World Religions.

It was at a venue I didn't like.  Someone hugged me without my permission and it felt creepy.  There was wine, and a drunk person bothered me from a distance.  The entrance fee was supposed to be a donation and a "love offering" but was required, which pissed me off.

It was fun to see our friends, but the introduction by the person who runs the place creeped me out too.  I don't like the way love = money to them.  And I don't like the way everyone seemed rich but us.

Overall it was too many people and too much.  There was a ton of food I didn't want to eat, we don't drink, and I got the feeling that the "love offering" was mostly to cover the food and wine, which was stupid.

I'm trying to think of something good to tell you in an attempt to counterbalance all my complaining.  Yesterday the interview with my friend J went well.  I will start transcribing it today.

Yesterday I worked on a new poetry zine.  I finished a draft, but there's always the need for a cover.

Oh, and I wrote two poems yesterday.  I sent them to my bestie, who liked both.

Friday, October 02, 2015


I have a friend who shows his love by giving me things: a magazine, a newspaper clipping, something he printed off the internet.  It's so sweet.  Maybe I should think of something to give him, if that's his love language. 

Today I interviewed a friend.  The wife of the friend who gives me things.  She is our community's matriarch, and I love her.  It was our third and final interview. 

My love language is words.

Thursday, October 01, 2015

intense situations

Tonight I attempted to make some boxed vegan mac and cheese but it was gluten free too.  It was a fail.  It was slimy and tasted like barf.  Holy crap, I don't know how anyone could like it.

I made a nice lunch though: brown rice, roasted delicata squash, sauteed purple potatoes, carrot sticks, and cucumber circles.  Our friend King R was here helping Ming with some NDE stuff.  I would have liked a plump vegan sausage in the middle of the plate, but we don't have any.

This morning we peace vigiled.  Some intense situations are happening around us.  So far we are safe from the worst of it, and I hope our luck holds up.

"It's like making a zine," I told Ming.  "You do your best and work really hard, but then you let it go, and it has a life of its own."  I told him how it's good for me to worry up to a point, but after that it's fruitless and I'm just making myself sick.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

temple times

This morning we sang in the temple and walked in the desert. We're having a good time on our retreat. Our sheet music is in a pink binder that I like. 

You know my theme of the year is Your silence will not protect you. Last year was Never in a hurry. I think I like last year's better. 

I finished reading Twelve by Twelve. I loved the first half or so, disliked the rest but kept reading, hoping for some glimmer of what I had liked in the beginning. Also just to finish it. 

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

support our troops--bring them home


life on Mars

Gmorning. Ming and I are retreating for a day and a half. Ming is getting gas. Then we'll head to the temple. 

I should've brought more books. But there are books at the guesthouse. 

By the way, there's water on Mars. Yesterday we watched the video for David Bowie's "Life on Mars" to celebrate. Ming showed me a picture of something that looks like an octopus on Mars. Did you see that?  I wonder if it's a prank. But it made me feel excited and scared at the same time. 

Monday, September 28, 2015


Today we've been busy.  We were having a conference call this afternoon when there was a knock at the door.  It was our friend J and his daughter.  Their trailer had a problem.  The trailer hub and drum assembly.  They forgot the grease so they'll stop for grease on their way out of town.

Anyway, it was a surprise to see these friends.  It was nice.  Ming took them to this RV place to get the parts.  I stayed here and typed up notes on the conference call.

We don't have good foods to feed these particular friends.  They like meat.  J likes rabbit.  Ming and I went home-vegan (again, for me) and we don't have things J and his daughter would like to eat.  That's an argument against our diet.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

big cook

I should be chopping potatoes right now.  We got a donation of tons of lettuce heads yesterday, so Ming made a huge salad.  The beans are simmering--the rice is too.  The potatoes are what's left.  And the bell pepper for the potatoes.

I'm upset by a friend or former friend's bad behavior.  It's been bothering me for days, and I don't know what to do.  I told Ming yesterday that the only remedy for anger is exercise.

I reviewed a book I'd been needing to review.  I have to find, read, and review a zine as well.  I'm tired from getting up at 5:15.  I'm cranky from unresolvable anger.  I'm worried about the beans sticking to the bottom on the pot where there's an abrasion.  They always stick there and burn a little.  Otherwise the pot is great.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

new shirt


Friday, September 25, 2015

lentil soup

We are home safe from travels.  I made lentil soup for lunch.  It's good though I couldn't find the bay leaves, though I used donated canned potatoes and carrots.  I thought the canned stuff might be yuckie but it's fine.

Our friend King R came over and chopped veggies for Food Not Bombs.  We talked.  He drank coffee.  It was good, and he has some fresh ideas for NDE.

Tonight there's a free concert we might go to.  But we need to go to the post office, grocery shop, rest from yesterday's long drive.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

I have a library card

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

it's happening in Soledad

We stopped for frozen yogurt in Soledad. The strawberry tasted bad--I sampled it--but the chocolate was good. 

This morning I sat at Berkeley Bowl while Ming had breakfast with his kid at Sconehenge.

Ming helped his mom clean her apartment yesterday while I sat at the San Leandro library emailing people. 

In Berkeley yesterday we copied some zines I was running out of.

Workers are cutting down eucalyptus trees by the freeway and we wonder why. 

Tuesday, September 22, 2015


I have a weakness for Paper Source. But when we went there this morning it was closed for renovation. 

So we were headed to the bookstore, but it was closed too. The scrapbooking store same thing. Weird. 

Now we're at the marina, which is also closed. But we can sit here looking at the bay water. 

Hotel breakfast this morning was good but the news was not. 

Today we'll see Ming's mom. Ming will help her clean her apartment then we'll go to frozen yogurt together is the plan. 

Ming says hello. 

Monday, September 21, 2015

if you're ever in a jam here I am

We're in a traffic jam somewhere near San Jose having finished our fudge. There are roadside mattesses. A freeway is coming up we hope lotsa people exit onto. 

This morning at the pier near Diablo we watched a fisherman catch mackerel after mackerel. There were little fish below and maybe the mackerel were eating those. 

We also saw tourists leaned over the edge of the pier to look at sealions. They were brave. 

I bought a postcard at the bamboo store that says Kale--it's what's for dinner. It made a smile. 

We spent too much time in and around San Luis and are now having to rush to Davis to see Ming's kid. 

Sunday, September 20, 2015

pinning the tail nowhere near the donkey


big bang theory

Mom made candy goodie bags for the kids with dollar store candy though only one kid is coming to the pin the tail on the donkey party.  Mom got up early and baked the cake before it got hot.  We're experimenting--brownies from a mix for the cake, two boxes.

The dog is wild.  The dog barks like crazy.  He is not getting used to me or Ming.  I think he may not be long for this house.  Everyone's getting fed up.  He has a lot of energy.  He needs to be a ranch dog.  But do ranches need more dogs?

"Hello, ranch.  Do you need a problem dog?"

Mom also got a chocolate orange from the dollar store which Dad banged on the table to break.  Mom said it was nostalgia factor because she got them for us when we were kids.  I don't remember.  But she thinks chocolate and orange don't go together.  Ming thinks the combination is wrong wrong wrong.

Google knows it's my birthday and has a special doodle for me.  It's cute.  I've been drawing cartoon birds and playing cards with Mom.  We played a game she won.  It was hard for me to concentrate because a sit com I don't like was playing.  But it has some good science jokes.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

see canyon

Friday, September 18, 2015


Matthew 6:1

This morning we went to Goleta Beach and walked the pier. We sat on a bench that had a Bible verse wheatpasted in front of it. We saw a school of small fish. 

Then we went to Montecito to the Vedanta temple there. We shopped the bookstore where I bought two small statues, Durga and Krishna. They will keep me good company at my desk. 

Now we're at Pepe's in Goleta waiting for my bestie in the lobby. We've had good times here before. 

Thursday, September 17, 2015

veggie bake pasty

no beach

I think the beach we want to go to is closed because of tsunami warning. Dad is talking to me about all manner of family topics. The dog, my brother, Disneyland. His back, salt for the water softener.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

you're here

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

the stranger

This morning someone unknown was in our courtyard.  I asked him what was going on.  He was an oldtime NDE person who is now homeless and had just walked miles from the hospital he was discharged from.  Our friend J came over and helped him.  But then the hospital wouldn't readmit him, and he walked back here.  By then I was sleeping.

Too much excitement.  In the morning I made him breakfast and brought him coffee.  In the afternoon I don't know what happened.

We had community dinner tonight.  I hugged people goodbye because we're going on a trip.  Our friend B made pesto.  It was the best pesto I had ever tasted, so fresh and real.

I'm so tired.  I ate the last of the ice cream--there was just a little at the bottom of the carton.  I need to head back to bed because we leave tomorrow morning at 4:30.