dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Friday, August 17, 2018


I have all these books I want to read, but it's so hard for me to read.  Books intimidate me.  I prefer being read to.  Its hard to concentrate.  It's so much easier to write.

So I write tons of letters.  This morning I wrote four.  One is to a prisoner penpal I have a hard time staying in touch with.  I think he was on death row when I "met" him and he was soon transferred.  I've been writing to him for maybe four years.

Ming and I are supposed to have a date today, but I don't know what to do.  I think I researched free and cheap date ideas before online and the ideas were stupid.  It's too hot to go to the park.  Summer's hard.

Thursday, August 16, 2018

double rainbow

I wanna go to Whole Foods and look for other mango tea.  Maybe today.

We have a peace vigil at 9. 

Ming is cleaning out the pantry and is halfway done so stuff's all over the place.

In my dream last night a monk was holding a baby, and they were always just far away enough that I couldn't reach them.

Upset about the new Catholic child molesting cover up scandal.  I feel disgusted with Catholicism and monasticism.  Things I heard so terrible I don't want to repeat them.

Well, that's scattershot. 

Wishing you a double rainbow day, reader.

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

mango black

Trader Joe's discontinued my favorite kind of tea in the world.  I drank it almost every day!  I noticed they were out last time, so I asked this time, and the dude said discontinued.  I am defeated.

my hero

I asked Ming to get a headlamp and tweezers and pull the piece of glass out of my toe.  He did, very gently.

Tuesday, August 14, 2018


Ming's been cleaning out cabinets.  He gets a lot done.  He asks for my opinion on which mugs to keep.  We have a few too many.

Today he's hiking.  We're going to a Sierra Club lunch.  We meet with NDE's computer consultant.  I have an important phone call to make.

Our friend is coming to town today.  She says she'll be living in her sister's pool.  Lately I haven't swum.  But I have a new swimsuit.

Ming went early to get windmill water and there was a line.  He got me up early.  Life is confusing.

Monday, August 13, 2018

blue glasses

We delivered some boxes to A.  He has been on the verge of moving for quite a while.  He says he'll sign his new lease tomorrow.  He had some strange blue glasses on.  They detract.

We had a 7am meeting with R about Justice for our Desert.  It devolved into a music fest.  He played us "Coyote," a favorite.

Then we did a Costco shop for the Catholic Worker. 

Now we have a 1pm meeting with C about Goddess Temple stuff because we're missing the board meeting.  I'm tired of being hot.  I want to lie down in the air conditioned bedroom but I'd probably fall asleep.

Sunday, August 12, 2018


Last night the power was out so it was hard to sleep.  Ming made the bed in the Rice Room and I slept there for an hour, with the window wide open.

He brought in the tree collard because of strong winds, and I was worried the mantis would explore the kitchen and have babies.  Luckily, that didn't happen.

This morning he helped harvest grapes again and got a bottle of 2015 wine for his work.  Supposedly the wine isn't very good.  Seeing as we don't drink, we're trying to figure out what to do with it.  Thought we might give it to the Worker as sacrament.

I need to stop going on facebook.  Someone help me.

Ming cleaned out the tea cabinet only he never finished so there's a bunch of tea out on this table in the kitchen.

Saturday, August 11, 2018

Current conditions

Guest blogger here.

The Short Bus, our van, is in the repair shop, still. Flex plate issues. We were feeling upset and literally stuck till our community, The Las Vegas Catholic Worker Community helped in loaning us a vehicle. It was terrible to be stuck in the hot and relatively humid climate so the vehicle loan is much appreciated.

It has been hot and tonight thunderstormy. Indeed right now the power is out. The electricity failed at about 8:45pm.

The Perseids Meteor Shower is on right now but I cannot see it, which is unfortunate. I love looking at the stars and it is dark out but there are a Dust Storm Warning and a Severe Thunderstorm Warning on. I can hear the rain and thunder.

Earlier, when the wind was picking up speed we brought the potted tree collard indoors. It was swirling in dust outside.

Once in the house, I went looking for our friend. We talked about it being in the house.

"It will freak out" said our hero.

"It will be only overnight" I said.

I was afraid the strong wind would snap the tree collard stalk or blow away our friend.

I slept for a bit and am now up guest blogging. My sleep is often broken up into one to two hour chunks. Such is the way of narcolepsy.

I just went, iPhone flashlight in hand, looking for our friend, who is still, seemingly somewhat calm on the main stalk. I hope it is alright. What do I know of insect psychology.

"What is that noise ?" our hero wondered. We thought about it and decided.

There are these concrete plaque sculptures which decorate the exterior walls of our little community house. In the wind, they rock on their little hanger and produce a rolling grinding noise.

I recently bought headlamps for us as we had been camping more in the Spring, and obtained replacement Luci lights through a deal because our previous Luci lights melted in the Las Vegas heat. I got the Luci Outdoor Pro 2.0 lights with the USB connections so I feel we have lots of small battery power to ride out the power outage.

Last night I went to a movie with a lecturer friend of ours who helps on Saturdays with the Catholic Worker soupline food scooping. The movie was great and action filled.

Well, that is what is currently going on.

Friday, August 10, 2018

not voting

I don't vote--I stopped voting a couple years ago.  I'm a peaceful anarchist, the non-gun kind.

First I felt like no one represented me.  There was no good choice.  I tried to find someone who represented me but not even close.

Then I was like, well, I volunteer a lot.  I feed the hungry.  I help run a Catholic Worker house.  I help run an interfaith peace organization that puts on events bringing new and old activists together to make peace and transform lives, politicizing people in the beautiful Mojave desert.  I run a radical mental health collective.

I heard the idea that we vote with our actions.  So when I feed the hungry, it's like voting--I'm doing something to change the world.

I've also heard the idea that we vote with our dollars.  It's hard to buy local in this city.  There are some farmers markets but not close to where we live.

The quote, "If voting changed anything, it would be illegal," sticks with me.  Seems like an exercise in futility.  Especially with a two-party system.  I am far, far from being a Democrat or Republican.

But I have friends who are really into voting.  I see their messages on facebook saying stuff like the suffragists devoted their lives to your right to vote, and you aren't going to use it?  Or there's the idea that if you don't vote, you can't complain.

Voting takes just a few minutes, usually.  I guess it depends.  I feel weird about people's smugness about it.  The "I voted" stickers.  As if doing an hour of research and then going into a little booth for three minutes makes you a hero.

Well, I used to like it myself.  I thought it was my duty.

Now I think it's a charade.  Busywork, a distraction.  Big decisions are made without voting. 

I protest at a peace vigil at the federal building once a week, holding a sign.  And I demonstrate at the test site and Creech Air Force Base.  So that's a way of expressing myself too.

If a vote is expressing yourself, I do that all the time, making zines and everything.  The blogposts I make.  The bumper stickers on our van.

I don't necessarily want to dissuade anyone else from voting.  I think it's a waste of time and resources and energy, but I'd like to be wrong.

I think the last time I voted was for marijuana being legal.  I don't use it at all, nor do I drink, but I thought it would be a good idea because it's a freedom.  It would mean less people in jail.

Well, it's 2:15 in the morning.  I should go back to bed.

Thursday, August 09, 2018

two birds

Lately I've been over-facebooking.  I get lonely and look to facebook for social contact.

I write letters and emails, get letters and emails, see friends from time to time, see Ming all the time.  Still lonely.

Ming suggests I tell you he freed a bird from the vineyard netting.  But there was a dead bird in there already who was not so lucky.

He's eating grapes.  We're without our van for a couple days.  But we're running out of windmill water.

Wednesday, August 08, 2018

2018 Western Shoshone Walk Run

Just watched this short movie about the 2018 Western Shoshone Walk Run and it's great.

Tuesday, August 07, 2018

Thai curry carrot soup

I made this really delicious Thai curry carrot soup.  Ming chopped things for me.  It turned out so good!  Felt nutritious too.


I got the recipe from this website that's all about eating cheaply.  Ming and I are definitely budget-bound.  The thing is I used almost half the jar of Thai curry paste.  Maybe I didn't measure right?  My four tablespoons were estimates.  So it cost more than it should.

I made some plain brown rice to go with it--good idea.

We've been housesitting almost two weeks.  We leave this mansion tomorrow.  I will miss it.

Monday, August 06, 2018

peace faster

Ming is fasting for peace.  But last night he had a slurpee.  "What kind of fast allows slurpees?" I asked.  I guess it's just sugar water.

Sunday, August 05, 2018


The apple cider tastes like a living thing.  It's so vibrant.

Saturday, August 04, 2018

peaches and cider

Ming is going to Gilcrease Farm to pick peaches and buy cider.  I'm at a starbux for the air conditioning.  They messed up my drink.  Oh, Ming got it fixed for me.

They're playing, like, grunge music.  Maybe it's a celebration of Seattle.

I'm going through friend stuff.  Things are changing.  I'm changing.  I'd rather not.

Friday, August 03, 2018

what Laura-Marie said

There can be a fine line between exfoliation and self-harm.

Thursday, August 02, 2018

sad work

This morning we wanted to go to Red Rock early.  Early is kind of ticking away.

The grape harvest went well.  Ming enjoyed it.

I'm less sad but still sad with a lot of sad work to do.

Wednesday, August 01, 2018


Today the people who own this house are coming home for the day to pick and process grapes.  They have a vineyard.  Ming will help them.

Last night I slept poorly, waking up every half-hour sometimes.  I was too hot or too cold.

Sadness.  I made a list of people to reach out to.  I have hundreds of facebook friends, but who do I really trust?

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

at the mansion

For two weeks straight I've studied Spanish on duolingo, a 14 day streak!  That may be my record.

I'm alone at the mansion while Ming hikes.  I ate Life cereal.  Read some mail.

Our friend needs a place to live.  It's getting down to the wire.  All his animals make it harder.

Last night I drank peppermint tea and ate Ming's hummus with veggie chips.  Txted.  Slept.

Today I'm going to do some writing.  Dancing.  Probaby sleep more.

Monday, July 30, 2018

what Ming said

My sarcasm slashed with your sarcasm, creating a sarcasm chasm.

Sunday, July 29, 2018


We are mansion-sitting.  Some of the cactus fruits are ripening.  Just when I thought I might swim, there was a thunderstorm.  We didn't want to get struck by lightning.