lotion fear secret

me: Hey, can I tell you a secret?

Ming: Yes.

me: My secret is...I'm afraid of lotion.  I'm afraid there's something in it that shouldn't be.  I'm afraid it's going to hurt my skin.  Like look at my arm, it's all dry and weird.  But I'm afraid, what if I scratched it and there's a little owie and then I put on lotion and it goes into my blood and hurts me.  So then I think, there's gotta be better lotion.  There's gotta be some kind of lotion I can trust.  But really, I don't think any lotion could be good enough!  Maybe aloe vera gel, straight from the plant.  But even then!  What if I didn't wash it good enough?  It's just impossible.  What do you think of this?  What's wrong with me?

Ming:  There's nothing wrong with you.  You're perfectly right.

me:  Says the man with ocd.  Well, when we moved into this house, and there was a thing of lotion on the desk, and I was like, no way is that lotion good enough to use!  Throw that stuff away!

Ming: I love you.

me: Oh, and I knew someone who actually got sick from bad lotion.  It was old lotion and she got some kind of infection from it.

Ming: Me too.