making enchiladas on mother's day

"Do you mind washing that squash and cutting it in half?  I wanna see what's inside."

"What do you think is inside?" Ming asked.

"Squash," I said.  "Why are you giving me that disturbed look?"

"I'm afraid of what's inside," he said.  "Maybe a little gnome is curled up in there."

"Well, don't cut a gnome in half!  If you're afraid there's a gnome...you could just cut the top off.  Especially if he's an anarchist."  Here I was think of Noam Chomsy, my pretend boyfriend.  Trying to protect my pretend boyfriend in miniature form.

"I'm just going to assume there's not a gnome," Ming said.

"Oh, I could have opened that myself.  With the ftt fttt."

"Ftt fttt?" Ming asked.

"You know.  The church key," I said, making the motion of piercing the can twice.


"Could you thaw the tortillas?  Just cut the bag open and put them in the microwave, like 30 seconds."

"It says if you heat the tortillas in the bag, the ink on the bag will stain whatever it touches.  They knew people were going to do this."

"Yeah, they got some complaints," I said.  "You ruined my microwave!  You stained it with Mexican colors!"  We laughed.  "Maybe you could just put the tortillas in the pyrex and put it in the oven."


Turns out it's ok to eat young kabocha squash.  I wasn't sure what it was, in the field, but suspected.  It looked like a yellow pumpkin, but not a pumpkin.  It let me pick it, like it didn't mind being eaten at all.  Well, we learn something new every day, hopefully.

I sauteed it with garlic salt and ground coriander, a sliced up carrot also.  It was lovely.  I'd like to grow kabocha squash.  It's my favorite.

My mom was the master of enchiladas.  Making enchiladas on mother's day felt right.  Also I did some self-care that would make her happy.  She loved me and my body, cherishing my well-being like crazy.   So that was a way to honor her too.

Probably lots of time for rituals.  I want to look at old pictures.  There's a recording I have of an interview I did with her, that I want to listen to, some special day.

I freaked out more on Saturday.  Thank you to the friends who helped me through.