on the rez: Linnea
I had this student I loved the best. Her name was Linnea. (It wasn't.) She was a third grader and smart as a whip but with ADHD or some such brilliant-person affliction undiagnosed.
She was the one who said she was allergic to cake and then pretended she was sneezing. Getting her to do her homework was an interesting battle of wills. I was like an unskilled parent trying to get a kid to do the chores. I remember her beautiful singing of "If I had a million dollars" as she dawdled. She charmed me, and she was the best.
"I notice something different about you today," she said, "You're wearing earrings." And one time she notcied I had a ring on my right hand as well as my left. "Were you married twice?"
I liked her best friend too. Her name was, hmm, I can't think up a good fake name for her. We were happy in our group of three. We were all pleased with our roles. The best friend didn't mind being the sidekick. We were all quite well.
Then one day I lost my temper. I got just about furious and over stepped the boundry of the ways we would usually play. I mean, I got pissed enough to just walk away, ignoring her pleading to come back, which of course wasn't dangerous or anything--other teachers were around. It just felt dangerous emotionally.
The next day, she was sulking, and when I spoke with her, she was surprised and seemed skeptical. "I thought you didn't like me anymore," she said.
"Of course I still like you," I said. "I can get mad at you. You're still my special person."
So then we carried on where we left off. Of course, she was extra good for a little while. Like maybe 15 minutes. Then it was back to her tricks, which were part of everything. I told her best friend that she was my special person too, but we all knew what we meant.
It was Linnea who kept me from quitting for months. Of course I knew a lot of information about her home life, and I felt I was important as a source of stability. But eventually I did quit.
Then after a while I came back for a visit. "LAURA-MARIE!" she yelled, and ran to fling herself into my arms. "I FORGOT ALL ABOUT YOU!" she said.
As I hugged her, through her hair, I said, "I didn't forget about you."
She was the one who said she was allergic to cake and then pretended she was sneezing. Getting her to do her homework was an interesting battle of wills. I was like an unskilled parent trying to get a kid to do the chores. I remember her beautiful singing of "If I had a million dollars" as she dawdled. She charmed me, and she was the best.
"I notice something different about you today," she said, "You're wearing earrings." And one time she notcied I had a ring on my right hand as well as my left. "Were you married twice?"
I liked her best friend too. Her name was, hmm, I can't think up a good fake name for her. We were happy in our group of three. We were all pleased with our roles. The best friend didn't mind being the sidekick. We were all quite well.
Then one day I lost my temper. I got just about furious and over stepped the boundry of the ways we would usually play. I mean, I got pissed enough to just walk away, ignoring her pleading to come back, which of course wasn't dangerous or anything--other teachers were around. It just felt dangerous emotionally.
The next day, she was sulking, and when I spoke with her, she was surprised and seemed skeptical. "I thought you didn't like me anymore," she said.
"Of course I still like you," I said. "I can get mad at you. You're still my special person."
So then we carried on where we left off. Of course, she was extra good for a little while. Like maybe 15 minutes. Then it was back to her tricks, which were part of everything. I told her best friend that she was my special person too, but we all knew what we meant.
It was Linnea who kept me from quitting for months. Of course I knew a lot of information about her home life, and I felt I was important as a source of stability. But eventually I did quit.
Then after a while I came back for a visit. "LAURA-MARIE!" she yelled, and ran to fling herself into my arms. "I FORGOT ALL ABOUT YOU!" she said.
As I hugged her, through her hair, I said, "I didn't forget about you."
posted by Laura-Marie @ 1:05 PM
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