dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Friday, May 12, 2006

the only good thing about the heat

I hang the laundry, and it dries really fast.

Erik's home! It's one day only. He's doing a super-important international project at the grading factory which should be paying at least fifty bucks an hour considering the astronomical accuracy they're requiring, but is only the normal rate. He doesn't mind. It seems like the supervisor is good, so he'll get some respect until it ends in June. But anyway, he's off today because of a misjuedgment about the length of training, and I couldn't be happier.

SAT scoring is okay but whoever the range-finding comittee was for this prompt needs to lay off whatever drugs they were using and/or learn English!

I made some nice guacamole and made some good hummus that I put half a can of black beans in. I had always been a garbanzo-beans-only kind of person, but I have to say, the black beans was a good variation.

I read something the other day that made me wonder. It said that the way you think about the world colors how you see the world. And I tend to think about the world in a very pessimistic way. So maybe I should revise my ideas to revise my vision.

And Erik and I were talking about vision as we drove to Big Basin Wednesday. Is it good to have one? I said yes, as long as you can change it regularly, keep in touch with reality, and don't let your vision hurt anybody. Some things are so complex that they can only happen with vision. His Buddhism might contra-indicate vision? He's so into seeing things as they are, and I am too. But everybody's got to daydream and plan, just a little planning, maybe.

Somehow these two seem related.

And I was reading a cheezy magazine I got for free, which I usually just donate to the magaznie pile at the grading factory, but I was reading it because the cover tempted me with tofu recipes, and it was saying how most people find it hard to be happy for people as opposed to jealous, but I don't remember being too jealous except the time Erik got the fellowship and I didn't. That was the dark week of the soul.

At my yoga class my teacher has us do a loving kindness practice that has become integrated into my way of living that has to do with visualizing yourself as you are, a loved one, an enemy, and then the whole world and wishing loving kindness to each. Thanks, yoga teacher! You fixed something in my brain.


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