dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Thursday, February 19, 2009

pumpkin scones, phone rings, CD, vitamins, bad dream: a letter

Dear World,

Last night I made pumpkin scones from a recipe Erik found in Student's Go Vegan Cookbook. We were not too impressed. They tasted kind of boring, kind of good. But the texture was too cakey. I expect my scones to be a little more like a biscuit, a little crumbly--Erik suggested flakey. These were like cookies, almost--cakey cookies. But not in a good way. Anyway, we followed the recipe very closely except we left out the raisins / craisins, and I made them smaller than the recipe suggested.

Lately the phone's been ringing off the hook. I don't answer it, and whoever's calling doesn't leave a message. (I'm the kind of person who lets the phone ring until the answering machine answers it and then listens to hear whether it's someone I like, and if it's someone I like, I pick up.) I assume it's telemarketers.

Today Erik is hiking with his best friend T. They're going to Cataract Creek. I've got a pot of beans on the stove and plan to make some pumpkin carob chip cookies with the leftover canned pumpkin from last night's scones. I've washed the dishes and talked with my sick friend P on the phone. I'm listening to a CD I made for my friend H--I haven't seen her since making it the other night, so I'm listening to it, and I'm thinking maybe I'll make a copy for myself because I really like it. It's a more peppy mix than I would usually make because H is an energetic, peppy person.

1. Genius of Love -- Tom Tom Club
2. Close to Me -- The Cure
3. Come On! Feel the Illinoise! -- Sufjan Stevens
4. The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades -- Sufjan Stevens
5. Concerning the UFO Sighting -- Sufjan Stevens
6. I Am Stretched on Your Grave -- Sinead O'Connor
7. Hit -- The Sugarcubes
8. I Left the Grounds -- Innocence Mission
9. Nashville Parthenon -- Casiotone for the Painfully Alone
10. Scattered Pearls -- Casiotone for the Painfully Alone
11. This Must Be the Place -- Talking Heads
12. Please Don't Tell Me to Do the Math(s) -- Los Campesinos!
13. My Year in Lists -- Los Campesinos!
14. This Year -- Mountain Goats
15. Raid on Entebbe -- Mountain Goats
16. Why Can't I Touch It -- The Buzzcocks
17. Rip It Up -- Orange Juice
18. The Bridge I Burned -- Elvis Costello
19. Lost City -- Ghost Mice
20. Pictures of Pandas Painting -- They Might Be Giants
21. Clap Your Hands -- They Might Be Giants

I guess I ruined the surprise, if she reads this, and sometimes she does. But she won't know which H I'm talking about. Unless she realizes how peppy she is.

Later other friend P is coming to pick up the manuscript I finished editing last night, and I don't think he's dropping off a new one--I think we're All Done. But he'll have more work for me proofreading transcriptions in a month.

Yesterday we bought some vegetarian multivitamins at the co-op. Erik got a terrible headache and feels worried it was the vitamin he took, so he didn't take one today. He said he'd try again, though, on a non-hiking day.

Today I've received many emails. This happens sometimes, as if you, world, decide I've been too isolated and decide to send me lots of attention.

Tomorrow I have annual paperwork at my mental health place. I'm stressed about it. Then Saturday I have a doctor's appointment, seeing my shrink, and I'm nervous about that too. Then Tuesday I have my eligibility appointment, and I'm really, really nervous about that. So I'm a creature of anxiety, but no one would understand why unless they knew the effect bureaucracy has on me, and how I feel when I'm not being treated like a person.

Last night I dreamt I accidentally sent an email to everybody in my yahoo address book and it was very bad. That makes me want to go through my yahoo address book and delete some people.

So, that's my news. I hope all of you are doing well and enjoying your Thursday.

love,
LM

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