busy week

Today I went to Tai Chi for the second time. I was the only client: it was just me and the facilitator. I found it calming.

He had a big basket full of junk food and afterwards insisted that I take something. At first I said no. Then I took Cracker Jacks. He wanted me to take more and added a diet 7-Up, some cookies, and some crackers to my bag.

The cookies had hydrogenated oils and high fructose corn syrup in them, and Erik made me throw them away. The crackers had hydrogenated oils and artificial colors in them, and I threw those away on my own.

Today a new friend is coming to town. I'm supposed to see her and her two year old daughter this afternoon. I'm excited.

Then tomorrow a beloved aunt is going to be in town. I'm happy. It's been a busy week.

Last night I met with my women's writers group. It was at my friend H's house. I was a little more relaxed this time. There were only three of us. I don't think I got any great writing out of it, but it was a beautiful evening.

Yesterday I had my third DBT meeting. I'm finding it less helpful, seeing weaknesses, and the personality of my facilitator is grating on me. She kept us late for the second time in a row. I needed to leave because I had to go to the Vedanta bookstore to cover someone's shift. So I got up to leave, and she didn't want to let me go. I was slipping out quietly, but she stopped everything.

I can't remember her exact words, but she asked me something like, "What are you doing?"

"It's 1," I said.

"We leave DBT as a group," she told me.

"I have to go to work," I said, and she relented. It was emotional for me, and I felt angry because it's her big ego that makes her think she can hold us all fifteen or twenty minutes late. We're all adults with lives--I bet I wasn't the only one who needed to leave. I hate to cause a scene, and it embarrassed me.