fallen apart
I planned to describe the visits in some detail, but I lost my resolve. Last night we went to Maalouf's and had some delicious Lebanese food. This morning I'm cold, and I've been reading The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. I'm burning a CD for my best friend E. She was supposed to move on to her sister's house today, but she got sick, so she's staying at her hotel another night. So I might or might not see her again before she moves on. Plans have shifted.
Yesterday afternoon I spent trying to get my medication. The story is too long, boring, and frustrating to tell. This morning E and I were going to go to the big county pharmacy to see if they would give me my medication, but she's sick, so it's not happening. I don't have transportation there--the truck is riding rough, and I don't trust it. I have never taken the bus here in Sacramento and feel too fragile to try for the first time this morning. I have a therapy appointment at 12:30, so maybe after that I'll feel strong enough to try taking the bus. I'm scared of getting stranded somewhere and having no one to call. Erik is working.
So I feel that things have fallen apart. If only our work was regular and steady and not in intense short periods. I wish we had had the truck fixed by now, for example, which could have happened if we were regular people. Or if Erik had a regular job, maybe he would be able to take tomorrow off to bring me to the county pharmacy and help me fight for my medication (it's come down to that).
Yesterday was really rainy, but today it's gray out but no rain. That's good because I don't have an umbrella--we had one, but it's lost. I need to get a new umbrella. Certain things Need To Be Done, but they're always postponed. When Erik is off work next week, we'll be able to do certain things. We have no work again until February 25th.
Living feels really difficult right now. I don't think it's that I'm depressed, just overwhelmed.
Yesterday afternoon I spent trying to get my medication. The story is too long, boring, and frustrating to tell. This morning E and I were going to go to the big county pharmacy to see if they would give me my medication, but she's sick, so it's not happening. I don't have transportation there--the truck is riding rough, and I don't trust it. I have never taken the bus here in Sacramento and feel too fragile to try for the first time this morning. I have a therapy appointment at 12:30, so maybe after that I'll feel strong enough to try taking the bus. I'm scared of getting stranded somewhere and having no one to call. Erik is working.
So I feel that things have fallen apart. If only our work was regular and steady and not in intense short periods. I wish we had had the truck fixed by now, for example, which could have happened if we were regular people. Or if Erik had a regular job, maybe he would be able to take tomorrow off to bring me to the county pharmacy and help me fight for my medication (it's come down to that).
Yesterday was really rainy, but today it's gray out but no rain. That's good because I don't have an umbrella--we had one, but it's lost. I need to get a new umbrella. Certain things Need To Be Done, but they're always postponed. When Erik is off work next week, we'll be able to do certain things. We have no work again until February 25th.
Living feels really difficult right now. I don't think it's that I'm depressed, just overwhelmed.
posted by Laura-Marie @ 9:22 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home