dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Monday, January 31, 2011

olive hummus

At the church across the street they were tree planting. Then I was on a walk, and it started to rain, so I crossed over the church parking lot to get home faster, and I stepped on the place where they'd been tree planting. The ground was so soft, mud enveloped my shoes to the laces. So my nice new tennies are stained now. Waaa.

It's day five of a SAT scoring session. We are doing well. I got some hummus at Trader Joe's with little olive bits in it. I'm a fiend for olives lately, and it's very good.

Sunday, January 30, 2011


The rain stopped. I'm eating an organic granny smith apple. I always offer some to Erik, and he always takes one slice. I'm seeing my friend A for lunch, Lebanese food. I slept almost 12 hours last night--what the heck?

Saturday, January 29, 2011

fry bread fail

Yesterday I made some fry bread--we had been craving it. But it didn't turn out--it didn't puff up. What the heck. I keep my flour in the freezer, so maybe its coldness had something to do with it.

Friday, January 28, 2011

poetry cd

Yesterday I made my first poetry cd. It has Wallace Stevens, Elizabeth Bishop, the two Robert Frost poems I like ("Directive" and "After Apple-Picking"), Duhamel, Equi, Tennessee Williams, O'Hara, Jeffery McDaniel, Plath, Cavafy... Anyone want a copy? I'll make a custom intro for you. Just let me know what you'd like to trade for it. It's about 50 minutes long--another half hour would have fit on the cd, but I felt 50 minutes was enough.

I'd like to get Erik to read some of his favorite poems into the recorder and make a cd with both of us on it.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

recording poems, Mt Tam

My digital voice recorder finally arrived, and I started recording poems right away, lots of Wallace Stevens but some others too. "The Moose" by Elizabeth Bishop is pretty long. Well, I had to figure out how to work it first. I still have the feeling there's a lot I don't understand, but I know enough.

Now it's SAT scoring time. If I want to record while Erik works his 12 hour days, I'll need to go to the car.

It's fog world outside. The mechanic called this morning at 7:35!

Yesterday we went to Mt Tam again, and Berkeley for an early dinner of Indian-Pakistani food. I wrote letters, read my book about celebrity suicides, and walked beside a beautiful creek while Erik hiked earnestly.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

sky clowns

Yesterday we had our truck towed to the mechanic. It will cost a lot to get it repaired, but there's a government program to help us repair it since it's up for smog. Right now Erik's at the IRS office getting a transcript of our last year's taxes. Then we'll go to the mechanic and do paperwork.

Magpies are shrieking and chuckling outside--they're loud. I like them, those sky clowns.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Bay day

Yesterday we went to Mt Tam. Erik hiked while I wrote letters. I walked out with him almost a mile on a trail that was mostly flat and ran alongside a beautiful creek. At the trail head there was a crazy wind. I sat at a picnic table writing, vaguely worried that a branch would blow off a tree and knock me in the head.

Then we went to the top of the mountain and took the mini-hike to the peak. It was so crowded. The way up was okay, but the way down was bad. I felt rushed, but some places on the trail were really rocky, and I was unsure of my footing, but people were coming up behind us and the trail got narrow and tons of people were coming up the mountain as we went down...

Then we went to Stinson Beach. We stayed for only a short time because I'd had a lot of sun. We sat in the dry sand and looked out at the waves. It was crowded there too, but no one was bumping into me, so I was okay.

Then we went to Berkeley for dinner. The food was delicious, but I was frazzled. We sat near the place where people order and it was fun to hear all the orders.

Then Erik drove us home, and I stayed awake. It was a full, rich day. Today I'm seeing my friend P--she's supposed to call this morning.

Friday, January 21, 2011

who / whom

I always thought "who" was the subject and "whom" was the object, so I guess I was right, but I often have to think about what an object is.


Thursday, January 20, 2011

bad Kitty

Kitty peed on my sewing bag. So I threw it away and am starting over. I got a tape measure and needles at the dollar store. Guess what? They also had thimbles--small, medium, and large in one package. I love thimbles but have no use for them.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

new beginnings

I bought a shower curtain at the dollar store. "Why would you do such a silly thing?" you might wonder. Well, two reasons. The first is that it's not PVC so I didn't think it'd give a nasty fume, and it didn't. The second is that my old shower curtain I had for more than 12 years--my ex in laws bought it for me. It was time to retire it. The old one was dark blue and thick--this new one's periwinkle and airy. So I like it a lot more so far though I'm concerned it won't last. It reminds me a lot of that plastic tablecloth I bought for the zine fest. Erik compared it to a trash bag.

I called our old mechanic Z this afternoon to talk to him about the truck. He didn't answer and never returned my call. We're hoping he might call first thing in the morning. Not being able to get a hold of him was part of the reason we switched mechanics.

Lately I want to go to bed very early. Erik's doing yoga and listening to Magical Mystery Tour. I hadn't heard it in a long time.

I checked a book out from the library about celebrity suicides. It's got some hokiness going on, but I value the information. I read the introductions, and first up's Virginia Woolf. Mostly I just want to read the suicide notes.

We went to the thrift store this evening. I was interested in some notecards of old paintings, but the box was dirty and I didn't want to deal with that. I'm keeping my eyes peeled for a remarkable address book--my current one I made myself, and it's falling apart. It's time for a fresh start. Maybe.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

salatat batata

Today I made that special potato salad I like.

Salatat Batata

Serves 4 to 6

1/4 cup olive oil
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon ground caraway
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
5 large potatoes, cooked, peeled and cubed
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh mint
2 tablespoons finely chopped coriander leaves (cilantro)
1/4 cup finely chopped parsley

In a frying pan, heat the olive oil over moderate heat; then add the lemon juice, caraway, cayenne, and salt, stirring constantly. Cook for 3 to 5 minutes, until some of the liquid in the frying pan evaporates.

Remove from the heat; then add the potatoes and turn gently with a fork until they are coated with the seasoned oil. Place in salad bowl then add the mint, coriander, parsley, and toss. Taste for seasoning; serve chilled.


I got ground caraway seed at a market and used that for the first time--always before I used whole caraway seed. It doesn't taste all that different, to me. I'll have to see what Erik says when he gets home.

Monday, January 17, 2011

ginger ale

Tonight we played silly word games (Text Twist II and Word Bubbles). For lunch we cooked up a vegan frozen pepperoni pizza. It was nothing I'd ever buy again but kind of cool to try. I thought it had way to much pretend pepperoni on it.

A couple weeks ago at Whole Foods I bought some stevia-sweetened soda, ginger ale--it was on sale. I've decided I don't like stevia. So I don't know what to do with the five sodas I have left.

Today I wrote a couple letters. I'm excited the digital voice recorder I bought on Amazon will come soon. I can't wait to play with it.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

updates, get your updates here

Yesterday we went to Berkeley for the REI used gear sale. Strangely enough, I went in! It was my first time. It was pretty bad. At one point I was going through the sleeping bags when someone came up beside me and started going through the sleeping bags aggressively. I was trapped between him and the wall with a large bin behind me. It was No Fun. After a while I just held stuff for Erik. I just stood there holding stuff until finally I told him I needed to get out of there.

Then we went to an outlet store looking for sleeping bags and didn't find a good price. Erik wanted to go to a surplus store too but I thought it looked too shady.

Today we had fun at the big farmers market under the freeway. We bought onions for fifty cents a pound from a guy I don't like. We bought organic apples, garlic almonds, fresh parsley for making a nice Middle Eastern potato salad.

Then we went birding. I read zines and wrote letters while Erik birded. He claimed to see meadowlarks, but I think they were way too small to be meadowlarks. There was a colorful kestrel. I read a Laterborn and three Black Teas by Jason Martin.

Yesterday when we got home from Berkeley and checked the mail, I had a package from Arizona, a necklace I ordered, a necklace of juniper berry seeds or cedar seeds. I love these seeds, but the necklace is not of the best quality. Some of the seeds are broken or missing--the necklace has a gap. Still I like it.

A year and a half ago I was at Four Corners with my parents and there was a juniper berry seed necklace I almost bought. I think it was $20. I didn't buy it and afterward wished I had. So I finally looked online and found some and used Christmas money to buy it. That reminds me, I need to send a thank you note.

Kitty's new name

the Cry Cry

Friday, January 14, 2011

Kitty's new name

Sweet Bumbling Claw Monster


Today I got some mail that knocked me on my ass, three really heavy letters, not in a bad way, but I need to give them some thought. I feel blessed to have people in my life who want to communicate with me in such an authentic way.

Thursday, January 13, 2011


My monitor started messing up. Everything got too bright with weird lines running through it. This morning it happened--Erik hit it, and the problem went away.

Today it was rainy. I didn't go out except to do the laundry and check the mail. I got fantastic mail from Australia and England.

I thought about calling my friend J. I found out how to do it (the codes to dial) and what the time difference is--she lives in Victoria. I couldn't find her phone number--she told it to me, but I don't know where that paper is right now--so I looked it up online, found it. I almost called her, but I was too shy, and I got distracted by a strange unwanted email and my bread.

I baked bread in my bread machine today. I had the same problem I always do--it didn't rise very well. I think I need new yeast. I hadn't used my bread machine in several years, and I'm not sure whether to try again or freecycle it.

I read about a book about a guy who decided to get his possessions down to 100. That's 100 items to own. The idea of it inspires me.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

word garden

Today I made vegan banana bread--it's good. It had been a long time since I baked. I had that and chips with green salsa for lunch. I think I need some protein.

Today's supposed to be Erik's last day of jury duty. We're hoping they get done early, before the end of the day. He hates it.

We've been thinking a lot about what to do about the truck. I think we're going to call our old mechanic Z and tell him everything and see what he says.

Last night I dreamt I was going to Japan with my parents, and my mom didn't know the time the flight left, and we were at the airport having all kinds of problems. I had another dream my friend A had a garden in his backyard that his girlfriend had planted, and he wanted it ripped out. I said my cousin could do it. But gardens had words in them, and we needed to do something with the words.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Yesterday morning it took Erik fifteen minutes to scrape the ice from the windshield using a frisbee.

Yesterday M came to see me. We had coffee, lunch at Jack's Urban Eats, and walked at a park.

There was a third thing I wanted to tell you, but I forgot.

Sunday, January 09, 2011

ELM 50

Erik and LM Magazine 50 is out and available for trade. It includes two interviews, reviews, poems, and an account of the East Bay Alternative Press Book Fair.

Saturday, January 08, 2011


Today Erik went to a bag sale at the friends of the library bookstore--he got two bags of books for $6 each, mostly field guides and natural history books but some poetry too.

Then in the afternoon we went to the park where we met Erik's friend P--we set up Erik's new one-person tent together. It was cold.

In the evening I went to my friend P's place, where I met her sister. We talked, worked on a turtle puzzle, ate dinner, ate pie. They've been touring nursing homes, and one gave them a cherry pie.

Friday, January 07, 2011


Today I copied my two new zines functionally ill 8 and Erik and Laura-Marie Magazine 50. I also wrote some letters and finished reading White Elephants 4, which is excellent, while Erik hiked at Briones Regional Park. Collating, folding, binding, and mailing are in my future.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

library bombed

My library got bombed! What the heck?


Wednesday, January 05, 2011

the truck

Yesterday I noticed the truck's gas cap flap was open and the gas cap was missing. I'm stressed out about the truck. We need to deal with it as soon as Erik's done with jury duty. Deal with it = tow it to the mechanic and find out what's wrong with it and decide whether to fix it.

I'm laying out Erik and Laura-Marie Magazine 50 and functionally ill 8. I finally got the cover for functionally ill 8 all planned out--I need to make some photocopies and do some cut and paste, and the cover will be done. Then I'll be ready to copy both zines in Berkeley as soon as the truck's taken care of.

Erik's trial is supposed to be done Friday.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

home safe

I'm home as of late last night and trying to clean up my email inboxes and read my postal mail and clean up the apartment a little. I'm also trying to take it easy and recover from this cold.

I walked one street over to the blue mail drop box to send something and a creepy guy talked to me. Then when I was walking home I saw him again and was worried, but seems fine.

Sometimes I thank my lucky stars that I'm not what our culture considers beautiful because it means a lot of men just don't see me. I'm not constantly getting hit on like some women are. That would bother me a lot.

Sunday, January 02, 2011


We're at the hotel in Flagstaff--I was awake before my parents and have my shoes on and everything. We will be in Santa Maria tonight. The snow yesterday made the roads slow going for the first two hours but then cleared up. But there's a lot of snow and ice here in Flagstaff. My dad has the truck in four wheel drive.

Saturday, January 01, 2011

happy new year

We were snowed in and stayed an extra day, which makes things complicated. Erik will not be able to pick me up Sunday night because of his jury duty Monday morning, so I will be staying in Santa Maria for a few extra days and may take the Amtrak home. I'm sick with a cold. This has been quite a Christmas vacation, much more than I bargained for, and I definitely got a break from Sac. I will be happy to get back to a real keyboard--my dad's laptop drives me nuts and I hit the caps lock key all the time. I've been sleeping like crap on the Murphy bed with springs I could feel and a flat pillow. So I was actually awake for New Years but it didn't mean much to me. Happy anyway. I can believe it's 2011 but can't believe it's January. Wish us luck getting to Flagstaff--there's a lot of snow between here and there.