dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Saturday, April 30, 2011


Today Erik made thoom, a type of middle eastern dip.


1 cup mashed potatoes
6 cloves garlic, crushed
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup plain yogurt
Salt and pepper to taste
8 black olives, pitted and sliced in half
4 md. sliced radishes

Thoroughly combine potatoes, garlic, olive oil, yogurt, salt, and pepper; then place on a platter. Chill, and served garnished with olives and radishes.


It's so good--we used unsweetened plain soy yogurt, and we used kalamata olives instead of black, and we left out the radishes. I had some with Acme olive bread and a carrot.

Friday, April 29, 2011

vegan ice cream

At Trader Joe's we got some non-dairy frozen dessert made with coconut milk. It's new. We got chocolate flavor--it's velvety and amazing. Next time I want to try strawberry.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Capitol Park

I figured out who the postcard was from!

Yesterday I went to a Music at Noon concert by myself then visited Capitol Park for two hours with my friend A who comes in Sac for activism. We talked about big ideas. We sat at a shady bench near the Vietnam War Memorial and talked about crazy stuff, queer stuff, medication, the Icarus Project, Ghost Mice lyrics, gender, and oppression at the hands of the mental health system. It was very good.

Then I was super tired and lay on the bed reeling. Then I called my best friend A in New York and she called me back late for her.

Today I need to work but everything in me tells me not to. I'm afraid of missing papers and those terrible shocks of failure.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

three-legged crow

I came upon this wikipedia article while searching for "golden crow." So evocative!


holy man

I posted an image of a postcard I'm sending today to S then took it down.

Monday, April 25, 2011


I got a postcard today from someone with the initials HEC. Can't figure out who it is, but they seem to know who I am. They wrote from Virginia.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

vernal pools

This afternoon we visited some vernal pools out in Mather. We had a guide and paid $5 each. We saw some cute little flowers. We liked the mimulus tri-color best. I saw two snakes. One was small and slithered on top of the grass in a panicked way. One was very big and slithered through the grass. Home again, we did a tick check. No ticks.

Babylon City Market

I'm excited about a market opening around the corner. I think it's middle eastern food. There will be a cafe too.

Saturday, April 23, 2011


Today I had a long, long phone call with the A who lives in NY. We talked about everything and more. I was home, then in the car, then in the car at the park. I was lying back looking at tree leaves through the sun roof. Erik ran for more than an hour and 20 minutes.

I was hoping to have tomorrow off for the holiday. There were conflicting reports on work's website. But I do not have the day off. We're visiting some vernal pools. It might rain, so I will have to remember my umbrella.

Lately all the rage at Chez Erik and Laura-Marie is pickle sandwiches. They are tres nutritious too. I guess the bread's nutritious. That's about it. Are pickles nutritious? They just taste like vinegar.

Friday, April 22, 2011

breadcrumb pasta

I made some pasta with "buttered" breadcrumbs (it was vegan, of course) and it wasn't very good. I didn't follow the recipe, though. I used fresh basil instead of fresh parsley because that's what I had. I know that changes everything. And I left out the toasted pine nuts. And I used angel hair instead of fettuccine. So I was making my own thing, basically, and it wasn't so good. The texture bothered me. Oh well. "It's good to try new things," someone used to tell me.

Half-handed Cloud

I don't think I've mentioned I'm getting into Half-handed Cloud a lot lately.


Their song "Feed Your Sheep a Burning Lamp" is my favorite song of late.

Feed your sheep a burning lamp
Feed you lamb a course on herding
Feed your goat to feed the fire
Goats are fuel for fires burning
Goats and lambs on either hand
Lambs on hand for righteous yearning
Lambs with hands receive the crown
Royal crown

Coronate with brilliant gilding
Emitt Rhodes in a burned-out building
"Somebody Made For Me" is played
Every time a lamb is crossing
Bridges laid for oily lamps
Held by lambs and sheep-hands holding

Tried to cross the castle moat
But you gave your goat a drowning boat
Here's how goats turn into lambs: Shepherd's hands
Then goat's hearts turning



I wrote a letter to my friend R in New York and have been listening to music on bandcamp. Right now I'm hearing some Chris Clavin songs about mental illness.


Thursday, April 21, 2011


When I was a kid I liked Depeche Mode's album Violator. And I had it, but it got all scratched up. So I got it out from the library today after waiting months--I was 15th in line or something like that. So now I can hear it again.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Tonight I went to an open mic at Mondo Bizzaro. I was invited by my friend A, the one I saw last night too. She's in town for a short time only. She's driving home thought the night. I hope she's safe.

Erik and I are working hard on our respective scoring projects. I'm being trained like mad. I haven't gotten to live scoring yet.

Tonight while I was at the cafe with A, before the open mic began, my best friend called. I left the cafe--I actually went out back on the patio so I could hear her. People were smoking cloves back there, and the smell brought back memories.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I am proof that I am real

Today I saw A--not the A I often talk about, but a different one. It seems lately that many of my favorite people have names that begin with vowels. My two best friends especially. And Erik.

We talked for two hours at Naked Lounge over tea. I had something with berry in its name. She had something I forget.

She is so smart and I'm happy I get to see her next week too. I gave her a mix cd she can listen to in the car as she drives home tomorrow.

I'm writing every day and meditating every day.

Today I baked some vegan chocolate chip cookies, my friend J's recipe. They turned out much like the vegan Trader Joe's chocolate chip cookies. They're scrumptious. Erik likes them but is extra especially fond of the kind I bake with sweet potatoes in them. Maybe I'll bake those soon. I bought walnuts just to have walnuts in cookies though we also have them in our oatmeal sometimes.

Monday, April 18, 2011


I saw some pasta shapes I had never seen before. We were at Trader Joe's. They were orecchiette, little ears. I thought they looked more like ufos. But when I cooked some up, I thought they looked like little jellyfish.

We had them with garlic, olive oil, and fresh basil the first time. The second time I left out the garlic and the meal was also quite delicious.



Today there's no hot water. I called the property management company and got an answer. Someone answered the phone! I just about peed my pants with surprise. The worker said she'd send someone right out. Haven't seen anyone. Erik was taking out the trash and talked with a neighbor who said he didn't have hot water either.

Sunday we helped friends move furniture. Their new apartment had a busted pipe, and water was shooting out. Then they took us out to lunch at Andy Nguyen's to thank us for our help. It was really nothing--moving can be horrid--this was just a couple light desks, a big bookshelf, a bed, a small dresser, some smaller shelves, a few boxes. Most of the boxes they'll move by car.

I told Erik I'm giving up tea. It would save money. "You'll get dehydrated," he said. I told him that every time he makes himself tea, he can pour me a cup of water to drink. "It won't save much money," he said and tried to convince me that a big bag of green rooibos is inexpensive.

pickle power

This morning I was remembering this type of sandwich I would eat when I was a college student. I would eat pickle sandwiches with parmesan cheese and jar garlic. What the heck was I thinking?

So I put a sliced pickle in my tofurky sandwich for lunch, and it brought back the memory more. I hadn't had a pickle in quite a while, and I liked it.

Saturday, April 16, 2011


Today I wrote a letter to my friend J who lives in Minnesota--I wrote the letter on that nice stripey paper. I finished it at the park, where it wasn't too crowded though it's quite warm this weekend.

Tomorrow we help friends move, and Erik will do taxes. North Carolina is almost done. I think we'll score out tomorrow. Thank gosh!

Today at the library I checked out a book of writing prompts. I told Erik that I want to be a writer. It was funny since I already am. But what if I could channel all my writing energy into a novel and get rich quick? I told Erik all the money would be mine, that he couldn't have any of it. That seems unlikely. But maybe this summer I can get some discipline, just try it out, for the heck of it.

I'd like to meditate every day also. I hate the heat, but I think it could be a good summer for me.

Friday, April 15, 2011

happy Easter

Here is a beautiful card from my friend M in Finland. Thank you!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

at Length

They Might Be Giants

This afternoon I've come to the realization that I have a deep and abiding love of They Might Be Giants.

0. The Smiths
1. Sufjan Stevens
2. They Might Be Giants
3. The Innocence Mission
4. Casiotone For the Painfully Alone
5. 10,000 Maniacs
6. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

My top seven of all time / the moment...


The other day I was talking to my friend A--I was talking about calla lilies, and I said how the flowers are shaped like a cone. He thought I meant pine cone, but I meant like in geometry. Then I was thinking about how pine cones aren't cones at all. Wikipedia says they're called cones because some look like cones. Anyway, I think of cones as empty, like an ice cream cone. But I guess in geometry they're solid.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Planned Obsolescence

I like listening to old 10,000 Maniacs. One of my favorite songs is "Planned Obsolescence" which I can't find on youtube! I really want to know how they made the weird sound that's throughout it. I considered theremin, but I don't think it's theremin. Anyone out there on the internet know what instrument it is? I asked my friend J who knows a lot about music, and he thinks it might just be a guitar effect. But I've never heard anything like it.

Once, Twice, Seven Times a Werewolf

There's a Half-handed Cloud song "Once, Twice, Seven Times a Werewolf" which I find hilarious and told Erik--he noted that it was a play on "Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady."

"What does that even mean?" he asked. "Does that mean they did it three times?"

"No!" I said.

"Does it means that she acted in a manner that he approved of not just one time, but three different instances? Is it like the reverse of strikes in baseball?" he asked. "You should write this in a letter to Lionel Richie."

Failing Schools


Somehow during the morning's web surfing I came upon this website. I heard mention of testing fraud in Washington DC somehow, and a google search landed me there. I want to read Teacher At Point Blank but the library doesn't have it.

Monday, April 11, 2011

what Erik said about Kitty

"He lets me do whatever he wants."

Sunday, April 10, 2011

vato / cholo

Erik wants to know the difference between a vato and cholo. He had his shirt buttoned like some guys in high school used to, top button only. Urban dictionary is telling me that vato is neutral and cholo implies gang affiliation? Oh, I forgot ese.


Yesterday I went to Celestin's with A. We had vegan cajun food there. It's not a vegan restaurant, but they have these two dishes, curry veggies and veggie gumbo. I thought the food was good but overpriced. The place is painted very cheerfully. It was mostly empty there.

Saturday, April 09, 2011

Never Felt Better

Yesterday I went to a Nacheez tasting and dinner at Sugar Plum Vegan. My deep fried battered cauliflower was the best! The foods were very tasty. And it was good to see friends.

Never Felt Better, the vegan shop, I had never been to. I like it there. I thought there would be more zines.

Thursday, April 07, 2011

postcard O sent me

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

cupboard's bare

I am amazed by how many condiments we have in the fridge. Now that we've eaten most of the food, the condiments are obvious.

Tonight I made brown rice with veggies and tofu for dinner. It was really good. I used peanut oil for the first time. It's unrefined, so it gave a peanutty taste.

Spring means allergies around here. Mosquitoes bit me at the park, and the bites are very red and itchy today.

Today at the park I finished two long letters and caught some rays. It's happy to have mail to send. And tonight A called and I talked to her for a little while as she lay in bed under an electric blanket. It was 33 there and 75 here.

Monday, April 04, 2011

Fleeting Pages


This seems fantastic--I want to see if I can donate some zines.

oatmeal, for example

Last night there was someone pounding on a neighbor's door for ten minutes. It scared us. But other neighbors went outside to talk to the person, which I thought was brave / stupid, but maybe it helped the person stop. This was around midnight.

I've been blessed with some really good letters lately and am working on replies.

We don't want to get ourselves in a position where Erik has all the backpacking gear he needs but no money to go backpacking. We want to try to identify which foods we eat that are more expensive and stick to the less expensive foods.

Saturday, April 02, 2011

Fishstrom Staple Company

Here is a postcard I bought for 25 cents today at the Friends of the Library bookstore. It gave us a lot to puzzle over. Why is the handwritten name misspelled? What's the meaning of the blue question mark and number sign? Why was the postcard never sent? (Maybe because the handwritten name was misspelled?) And who decided to donate this postcard to the library?


Today we went to a sale at the Friends of the Library book warehouse. I tend to avoid crowds, but I was curious, and Erik wanted me to come with him. First we were confused thinking that it was a bag sale. Last time Erik went it was a bag for $6.

Anyway, I bought a book for my aunt and a cd by Trout Fishing in America. The cd is children's music. A couple of the songs are good, but it's too children's for us. Oh well--it was 50 cents.

Other highlights of the day were an hour-long phone call with my best friend A, a visit to a small farmers market near our bank, eating the oyster mushrooms we bought there. The smile I got from a flower seller. How beautiful the tomatoes were.

Oh, and I got some super cute stationery at the thrift store. It's colorful and stripey.