dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Friday, August 31, 2018

two good things

I heard about this website where people post homemade audiobooks of books that are out of copyright.  I haven't found a book that interests me yet.  Just started looking.


I heard about a new way to do to do lists that uses intuition more--sounds great.  I might try it.  Here's a link.


Last night we were supposed to be at a party at 7.  But we didn't know there were two locations of this restaurant, and we went to the wrong one, on the strip.  What an ordeal!  We did make it to the actual location, an hour late.  It was an ok party, an activist party.  A got to see someone he was in an argument with months ago who stopped speaking with him.  They hugged.

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Ming and I are signers


This morning at the vigil our houseguests drove by and honked like crazy.  A young woman dropped off a box of doughnuts, thanking us for our service.  And a bird pooped on Ming's head.

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

wind power

I woke up early with arm pain from my pinched nerve.  Ming is still asleep in the hotel bed.  Today we go home. 

Our friend is passing through tonight, driving a moving van to Colorado for a friend.  So he will stay overnight.

I drank all of my water.  This is a strange windy town.  Thus the windmills.

Tuesday, August 28, 2018


This morning we left the undisclosed location.  I drove a few miles near Arvin. Now I'm relaxing with kombucha at the Motel 6 we frequent.  The fluorescent light is terrible.

We stopped at a park in Tehachapi and found a place we can camp next time.  Hurray!  Lots of oaks, dragonflies, butterflies.  Bluebirds.

We stopped at a grocery store for yogurt for dinner for later.

I can hear crows outside, which makes me happy.  I want to do a little writing and relax.

Monday, August 27, 2018


I sleep a lot.  Last night I slept 12 hours.  I wish I had a doctor I could trust.

We want to go out but have no money.  Seems stupid to put a cafe visit on a credit card.  Maybe we could go to the free museum.

I like the foggy weather here.  Last night my brother came over.  I listened to him talk for a long time.

Then I lay down on the bed and felt a nice breeze from the open window.

"Does everyone like breezes as much as I do?" I asked Ming when he came back from his chocolate run.

Sunday, August 26, 2018

tomatoes from the backyard

Saturday, August 25, 2018

Guest Blogger thoughts

We are safe in the undisclosed location. Got here last afternoon, rested, then grocery shopped for some essentials for our short stay.

This included getting a Costco pizza, wherein the wait at the new Costco took over 55min. People were lined up at the Food Pickup line area, wondering if they were in the right impromptu line. It was really now more of a check-your-receipt-and-see-how close-you-are-to-receiving-your-pizza line. The worker at the reception end of the line was getting exasperated.

"The wait is now being updated to over an hour." he said, "They are really falling behind, back there." he said.

He would check the presented receipt and tell you how much longer your wait would be. Some customers were getting it in their head that they should just continually bug the guy till they received their pizza. Kinda of a squeaky wheel approach. But that meant the line just got more clogged and surly with complaints.

When did this become appropriate behavior, to bug the worker, till service was received ? Is this a sustainable tactic to meet the needs of efficiency and curtesy, I wondered.

Our Hero was waiting in the Short Bus, emailing. She was getting annoyed that my initial communication was that the anticipated wait would be 30min, and that the actual pizza wait was so much longer, when I came back and visited her.

In the now, she just now presented me with a beautiful cherry tomato for the undisclosed location's small garden. Thank you !

The pizza was delicious, as is the cause of the long wait for the coveted Costco pizza. Our Hero is moving for being a cold-leftover pizza lover to a reheated leftover pizza lover. I blame this small pizzeria, Albo Pizza in Las Vegas for this change as their garlic pizza is the greatest. No long wait there, yet.

I really appreciate blogging here. Though I often don't read other people's blogs, I read this one daily. My own blog got bogged down in my overlinking. Maybe I should revisit my blog and blogging ways.

See you later. Thanks for reading.

Friday, August 24, 2018

nice noodles

Had a long summer's nap here in Mojave at the Motel 6.  This morning the water never heated up so I took a cold shower.  Ming says you have to turn it to the cold side.  I'm like, "Why didn't you tell me that?"  Not that it's his job,  Just would have been nice.

He's tracking mud through the hotel room and I asked if he had some dollars for a tip.  He'll look.  I have no dollars.  Our $700 mechanic bill this month did a number on us.

Here he is with three dollars.   The train here is so loud.  Last night we got pho for dinner.  There was a view of a beautiful train.

Thursday, August 23, 2018

end of the innocence

Somehow we've made it to Barstow.  We'll rest here for a while. 

A came over last night and stayed till after 1am doing his laundry and talking to me--Kali, cyclical universes, gathering his energy back after his accident, hoarding, ocd.  Also he played my guitar. 

So we weren't sleeping till 1:30am and got a later start than we intended this morning.

I have coffee I'm using for the caffeine but with mixed success.  Ming got a huge strawberry shake at Mad Greek.

Panera is so bougie.  A song is playing from when I was a teenager, and I know every word.

Wednesday, August 22, 2018


Tomorrow morning early we leave on a trip to the undisclosed location.  Might need to get a hotel room, breaking the trip up.

Today I have therapy.  In the afternoon there's meditation at the Worker.  At night Ming is going to a baseball game.  Maybe not the best timing.

I still feel like crap.  But I do my things.  I have faith I'll move through to better times.

Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Guest Blogger again ...

Our Hero feels like crap today.

Today I found a new way to carry my wallet that is less cumbersome to my pants. Now you know a little more about me, than you knew a moment ago.

I also found a more secure way to hold bags in the Short Bus with flat bungie cords and the back seat seat's headrest. I am feeling happy about less sliding of cargo in the back seat area.

I have been working hard on cleaning the house. I am getting around to the root of some house projects. Feeling good.

Today I had a computer consultation with our one consultant for Nevada Desert Experience, such that we can get better use from the old NDE Database. Now I need to find out how to utilize the old software, Microsoft Works 9, and be resolved to work it such that it works as a better solution for NDE than some of the other database software that is out in the world. So expensive, the other software options were.

My long hair is sticking to my arms due to the Las Vegas heat and my body's attempts to cool itself. It feels creepy and unpleasant.

Time for me to go to sleep. Good night.

Thank you for reading !

Monday, August 20, 2018

eviction day

Well, today is A's eviction.  So we helped him move till 3:30 am.  Also I did his laundry.  Well, that's love.  Checking pockets.  I found a five dollar bill and a red plastic lighter.  Maybe one day I'll need help and he can do my laundry.

Burned my finger heating tortillas for this morning's breakfast.

So today we have to do two things.  Costco shop for the Worker and conference call at noon.  I'll pace myself.  I'm living on three and a half hours of sleep.

Sunday, August 19, 2018


Ming was going to guest blog for me last night, but I guess he slept instead.  Which is good.

I forgot to tell you a man on the street the other day told me, "Shake it but don't break it, girl!"  Was he talking about my butt?  I found it confusing.  Butts are always broken.

"There's police cars outside," Ming said.

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said and came back with a shirt on.

I'm eating olive bread. 

I started writing down dreams in my dream journal again.  Night before last I ate a rose thorn, in my dream.  Last night in my dream, my head was bleeding.  Just dream-bits but it's a start.

Friday, August 17, 2018


I have all these books I want to read, but it's so hard for me to read.  Books intimidate me.  I prefer being read to.  Its hard to concentrate.  It's so much easier to write.

So I write tons of letters.  This morning I wrote four.  One is to a prisoner penpal I have a hard time staying in touch with.  I think he was on death row when I "met" him and he was soon transferred.  I've been writing to him for maybe four years.

Ming and I are supposed to have a date today, but I don't know what to do.  I think I researched free and cheap date ideas before online and the ideas were stupid.  It's too hot to go to the park.  Summer's hard.

Thursday, August 16, 2018

double rainbow

I wanna go to Whole Foods and look for other mango tea.  Maybe today.

We have a peace vigil at 9. 

Ming is cleaning out the pantry and is halfway done so stuff's all over the place.

In my dream last night a monk was holding a baby, and they were always just far away enough that I couldn't reach them.

Upset about the new Catholic child molesting cover up scandal.  I feel disgusted with Catholicism and monasticism.  Things I heard so terrible I don't want to repeat them.

Well, that's scattershot. 

Wishing you a double rainbow day, reader.

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

mango black

Trader Joe's discontinued my favorite kind of tea in the world.  I drank it almost every day!  I noticed they were out last time, so I asked this time, and the dude said discontinued.  I am defeated.

my hero

I asked Ming to get a headlamp and tweezers and pull the piece of glass out of my toe.  He did, very gently.

Tuesday, August 14, 2018


Ming's been cleaning out cabinets.  He gets a lot done.  He asks for my opinion on which mugs to keep.  We have a few too many.

Today he's hiking.  We're going to a Sierra Club lunch.  We meet with NDE's computer consultant.  I have an important phone call to make.

Our friend is coming to town today.  She says she'll be living in her sister's pool.  Lately I haven't swum.  But I have a new swimsuit.

Ming went early to get windmill water and there was a line.  He got me up early.  Life is confusing.

Monday, August 13, 2018

blue glasses

We delivered some boxes to A.  He has been on the verge of moving for quite a while.  He says he'll sign his new lease tomorrow.  He had some strange blue glasses on.  They detract.

We had a 7am meeting with R about Justice for our Desert.  It devolved into a music fest.  He played us "Coyote," a favorite.

Then we did a Costco shop for the Catholic Worker. 

Now we have a 1pm meeting with C about Goddess Temple stuff because we're missing the board meeting.  I'm tired of being hot.  I want to lie down in the air conditioned bedroom but I'd probably fall asleep.

Sunday, August 12, 2018


Last night the power was out so it was hard to sleep.  Ming made the bed in the Rice Room and I slept there for an hour, with the window wide open.

He brought in the tree collard because of strong winds, and I was worried the mantis would explore the kitchen and have babies.  Luckily, that didn't happen.

This morning he helped harvest grapes again and got a bottle of 2015 wine for his work.  Supposedly the wine isn't very good.  Seeing as we don't drink, we're trying to figure out what to do with it.  Thought we might give it to the Worker as sacrament.

I need to stop going on facebook.  Someone help me.

Ming cleaned out the tea cabinet only he never finished so there's a bunch of tea out on this table in the kitchen.

Saturday, August 11, 2018

Current conditions

Guest blogger here.

The Short Bus, our van, is in the repair shop, still. Flex plate issues. We were feeling upset and literally stuck till our community, The Las Vegas Catholic Worker Community helped in loaning us a vehicle. It was terrible to be stuck in the hot and relatively humid climate so the vehicle loan is much appreciated.

It has been hot and tonight thunderstormy. Indeed right now the power is out. The electricity failed at about 8:45pm.

The Perseids Meteor Shower is on right now but I cannot see it, which is unfortunate. I love looking at the stars and it is dark out but there are a Dust Storm Warning and a Severe Thunderstorm Warning on. I can hear the rain and thunder.

Earlier, when the wind was picking up speed we brought the potted tree collard indoors. It was swirling in dust outside.

Once in the house, I went looking for our friend. We talked about it being in the house.

"It will freak out" said our hero.

"It will be only overnight" I said.

I was afraid the strong wind would snap the tree collard stalk or blow away our friend.

I slept for a bit and am now up guest blogging. My sleep is often broken up into one to two hour chunks. Such is the way of narcolepsy.

I just went, iPhone flashlight in hand, looking for our friend, who is still, seemingly somewhat calm on the main stalk. I hope it is alright. What do I know of insect psychology.

"What is that noise ?" our hero wondered. We thought about it and decided.

There are these concrete plaque sculptures which decorate the exterior walls of our little community house. In the wind, they rock on their little hanger and produce a rolling grinding noise.

I recently bought headlamps for us as we had been camping more in the Spring, and obtained replacement Luci lights through a deal because our previous Luci lights melted in the Las Vegas heat. I got the Luci Outdoor Pro 2.0 lights with the USB connections so I feel we have lots of small battery power to ride out the power outage.

Last night I went to a movie with a lecturer friend of ours who helps on Saturdays with the Catholic Worker soupline food scooping. The movie was great and action filled.

Well, that is what is currently going on.

Friday, August 10, 2018

not voting

I don't vote--I stopped voting a couple years ago.  I'm a peaceful anarchist, the non-gun kind.

First I felt like no one represented me.  There was no good choice.  I tried to find someone who represented me but not even close.

Then I was like, well, I volunteer a lot.  I feed the hungry.  I help run a Catholic Worker house.  I help run an interfaith peace organization that puts on events bringing new and old activists together to make peace and transform lives, politicizing people in the beautiful Mojave desert.  I run a radical mental health collective.

I heard the idea that we vote with our actions.  So when I feed the hungry, it's like voting--I'm doing something to change the world.

I've also heard the idea that we vote with our dollars.  It's hard to buy local in this city.  There are some farmers markets but not close to where we live.

The quote, "If voting changed anything, it would be illegal," sticks with me.  Seems like an exercise in futility.  Especially with a two-party system.  I am far, far from being a Democrat or Republican.

But I have friends who are really into voting.  I see their messages on facebook saying stuff like the suffragists devoted their lives to your right to vote, and you aren't going to use it?  Or there's the idea that if you don't vote, you can't complain.

Voting takes just a few minutes, usually.  I guess it depends.  I feel weird about people's smugness about it.  The "I voted" stickers.  As if doing an hour of research and then going into a little booth for three minutes makes you a hero.

Well, I used to like it myself.  I thought it was my duty.

Now I think it's a charade.  Busywork, a distraction.  Big decisions are made without voting. 

I protest at a peace vigil at the federal building once a week, holding a sign.  And I demonstrate at the test site and Creech Air Force Base.  So that's a way of expressing myself too.

If a vote is expressing yourself, I do that all the time, making zines and everything.  The blogposts I make.  The bumper stickers on our van.

I don't necessarily want to dissuade anyone else from voting.  I think it's a waste of time and resources and energy, but I'd like to be wrong.

I think the last time I voted was for marijuana being legal.  I don't use it at all, nor do I drink, but I thought it would be a good idea because it's a freedom.  It would mean less people in jail.

Well, it's 2:15 in the morning.  I should go back to bed.

Thursday, August 09, 2018

two birds

Lately I've been over-facebooking.  I get lonely and look to facebook for social contact.

I write letters and emails, get letters and emails, see friends from time to time, see Ming all the time.  Still lonely.

Ming suggests I tell you he freed a bird from the vineyard netting.  But there was a dead bird in there already who was not so lucky.

He's eating grapes.  We're without our van for a couple days.  But we're running out of windmill water.

Wednesday, August 08, 2018

2018 Western Shoshone Walk Run

Just watched this short movie about the 2018 Western Shoshone Walk Run and it's great.

Tuesday, August 07, 2018

Thai curry carrot soup

I made this really delicious Thai curry carrot soup.  Ming chopped things for me.  It turned out so good!  Felt nutritious too.


I got the recipe from this website that's all about eating cheaply.  Ming and I are definitely budget-bound.  The thing is I used almost half the jar of Thai curry paste.  Maybe I didn't measure right?  My four tablespoons were estimates.  So it cost more than it should.

I made some plain brown rice to go with it--good idea.

We've been housesitting almost two weeks.  We leave this mansion tomorrow.  I will miss it.

Monday, August 06, 2018

peace faster

Ming is fasting for peace.  But last night he had a slurpee.  "What kind of fast allows slurpees?" I asked.  I guess it's just sugar water.

Sunday, August 05, 2018


The apple cider tastes like a living thing.  It's so vibrant.

Saturday, August 04, 2018

peaches and cider

Ming is going to Gilcrease Farm to pick peaches and buy cider.  I'm at a starbux for the air conditioning.  They messed up my drink.  Oh, Ming got it fixed for me.

They're playing, like, grunge music.  Maybe it's a celebration of Seattle.

I'm going through friend stuff.  Things are changing.  I'm changing.  I'd rather not.

Friday, August 03, 2018

what Laura-Marie said

There can be a fine line between exfoliation and self-harm.

Thursday, August 02, 2018

sad work

This morning we wanted to go to Red Rock early.  Early is kind of ticking away.

The grape harvest went well.  Ming enjoyed it.

I'm less sad but still sad with a lot of sad work to do.

Wednesday, August 01, 2018


Today the people who own this house are coming home for the day to pick and process grapes.  They have a vineyard.  Ming will help them.

Last night I slept poorly, waking up every half-hour sometimes.  I was too hot or too cold.

Sadness.  I made a list of people to reach out to.  I have hundreds of facebook friends, but who do I really trust?