dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Monday, August 31, 2015

nice morning

I sauteed some mushrooms and put pesto sauce on them, and it's pretty delicious.

I have spent the day alone so far--Ming is out working on the Earthship.  I was hoping to conduct interview #2 with my friend J but she is busy with a broken water heater.

I've caught up on emails.  Wrote some postcards.  Found a library typewriter I can use--horray!

Sunday, August 30, 2015

in which our hero gets hit on, sings in a goddess temple, and procures decent apples

This morning Ming went to Food Not Bombs without me.  I hung out at the queer center's cafe.  Then someone walked in asking me how to get to the shelter Shade Tree, and I ended up looking up directions for her on my phone.  It was three miles away.  I wrote the directions for her on a piece of paper I tore out of my journal and then left.

Outside I waited for Ming to come get me.  It was not too hot, less then 100.  Then this guy asked me for fifty cents and I gave him my change.  Then he hit on me.  It was creepy and I didn't like it.  The guy was asking me if I was married and saying he needed companionship and someone to talk to.  I wished him luck.  He wouldn't give up, and I told him I was calling Ming.  So I sat on a bench calling Ming but he didn't answer the phone.  I called him three times and he didn't answer.  I was afraid he was asleep somewhere.

So then Ming rolled up in the Echo, and I was upset.  It was like yesterday.  I was angry at the world and not feeling well at all.

We went home and talked it out.  Then we decided to go to the goddess temple.  I made sandwiches.  Our priestess friend couldn't see us, which was sad but okay.  We spent half an hour by ourselves in the temple.  I wrote in the little book.  We sang good mother songs in the perfect acoustics.

Then some women showed up, and we left the temple.  We walked a tiny ways out into the wilderness.  It was nice.  I found a road and walked a little ways up the road.

I felt way better, and we came home, stopping at Whole Foods for decent apples, but we bought way more than apples.  The end.

Saturday, August 29, 2015


Bad day--do over tomorrow. 

Friday, August 28, 2015


Last night we went to Ethiopian food with our friend JR.  He is vegan and we had a good time.  He was telling us about Rastafrianism.  He has a lot of info in his head.

I am trying new tea combinations.  I'm tired of all my teas.  I like to take a large mason jar and put into two teabags and some cool water.  Leave it on the counter for a few hours or in the fridge.

I have a phonedate with a friend.  But we will not speak about friendly topics.  We'll speak of NDE--business.  But it's not a business.  It's a non-profit.

My transcription stuff arrived!


Thursday, August 27, 2015

great handwriting

My flower clip--the flower broke off.  I need to try to hot glue gun it on again.  Meanwhile, Ming took me to Michael's to buy a new one.  But that was wrong.  So we went to Joann, which was right.

My friend T in England sent me some tea.  I like this rooibos strawberry vanilla.

I made our friend JR some lunch.  I made him green noodles with miso.  It's a very simple lunch.

I made myself lunch of green noodles with earth balance, salt, and raw garlic.  Yum yum.

This morning we peace vigiled for only 40 minutes.  The construction was loud.  We sang a lot: "Sarvamangala," "Nanya Spriha," "This Little Light of Mine," "The Bumble Bee Song," "Vine and Fig Tree," and "We're Happy It's Raining."  Almost in that order.  Oh, and "Jaya Jaya Janani" a few times.

Someone was staying here for a few days in Freedom House.  His tomorrow appointment got canceled, so he left a day early.  He left a donation and sweet note on yellow paper.  He has great handwriting.

I keep asking for a typewriter so maybe one day I'll get three.  But I only need one.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

do the right thing

There are these new Elvis stamps out--I have some--and it makes me get Public Enemy's "Fight the Power" in my head because of that part where they say Elvis was racist and "most of my heroes don't appear on no stamps."  I have it wrong in my head but I just looked it up.

It reminds me of Do the Right Thing and the excitement I felt watching that movie as a teenager.  I don't think I'd like to see it again.  But it influenced me.

It also reminds me of the music I heard my brother play.  I remember "911 Is a Joke" and watching these videos now on youtube it's surreal to see an ad for whatever yuppie thing play beforehand.  They seem so radical and 25 years old.


Today it's cloudy again.  I have been feeling poorly.  I have a neck ache and slept badly and am out of sorts.

But we went to hospitality day lunch and I tried the green tomato bread as made by my friend J.  She put in some fennel, and I couldn't taste it.

It was very good, but Ming said mine is better.  I disagree.  I said he just said that because he loves me.

I feel sticky and sleepy.  Dirty and sad.

Ming's going to the movies.  It's a Terminator movie at the dollar theater.  I don't like movies, of course.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

nice day

This morning I interviewed a friend.  It went well.  I want to get my transcription software and footpedal and start transcribing.  I ordered them five days ago and they just shipped this morning, and I'm annoyed by the delay.

Today is cloudy.  It's only 97 degrees, a lovely reprieve.

After the interview we went to my therapy appointment.  I enjoyed talking and staring out the window.  I am still getting to know my therapist.

Then we went to Kung Fu Tea in Chinatown and I got a tasty ginger milk tea with boba.  It was very spicy, almost too spicy.

Then we went to this Japanese curry place where they serve vegetarian curries, which is nice.  I got tofu katsu and curry that was a four on a scale of one to ten.  It was so hot I was only able to eat half of it.  But it had a good flavor and the rice was perfect.

Then we came home and I took a nap.  I was out of spoons.  The nap recharged me.

Monday, August 24, 2015

thank you

This morning I was alone a lot. This evening--with friends. Life is good--is that trademarked?--and I'm tired now. 

Ming fixed my computers. Yay!  

Sunday, August 23, 2015

fresh tomato soup

Some of the green tomatoes ripened.  So I made some fresh tomato soup with Ming's help.

I cut up many many tomatoes and put them in a pot with some water and better than bouillon.  Boiled it for 20 minutes or so.  Then made a roux but don't think I cooked it long enough.  Oh well.  I was using Earth Balance rather than real butter (in case our vegan friend wanted some) and didn't want to take the temperature too high.

Ming pureed the tomato mixture for us.  We mixed everything up.  I ate mine with bread and Earth Balance.  And salt and pepper.

It's pretty delicious.  These tomatoes have brought such fun to our life.

how the solar baked green tomato bread turned out

It turned out weird, sort of a cross between a bread and a steamed pudding.  But it's delicious and I can't stop eating it!

One of the loaves was done--the other was done on the edges and underdone in the middle so I put it in the regular oven to finish up.

transferring a huge amount of files

I have this old computer that hardly turns on anymore.  It's a trooper, but it's gotta go.

Years ago we bought a backup system--you're supposed to be able to back up all the files on one computer and vomit all the files onto a different computer.

Well, I have the new computer, a windows machine I got inexpensively at Fry's.  So we're trying to get the backup system to vomit all the files into the new computer, and it's not working.

I'm worried the backup system is a lemon and we should just get a portable harddrive to put all the files onto and transfer them that way.

But it's a shit ton of files.  I think it would take days to transfer them all.  Weeks?

ps  How do I make people mix cds if I don't have a cd drive anymore?  How do the kids do that nowadays?

more bread time

Would you believe me if I told you I'm cooking even more green tomato bread, this time in the solar oven?  I've never done dessert bread in it--we did cornbread before--so I'm curious.  We put it in at 9:15 so it should have been done at 1:15 but it was in the shade for a while, when a tree shadow moved.  So we will check it soon.

solar oven

Saturday, August 22, 2015

more green tomato bread

I baked the green tomato bread again.  This time it came out light and fluffy.  It was the other recipe.  It's beautiful, delicious, perfect.



Friday, August 21, 2015

everything's an experiment

Today I made curried greens with beans for lunch.  I used a whole Trader Joe's bag of greens and it cooked down to nothing!  So we added some broccoli, which was a nice addition.  Usually we've had it with rice, but today we had it by itself, and it was great.

This morning I served.  Guess what?  Thursday is vegetarian day at the soupline, so maybe I'll start going Thursdays.  I don't know if it's an experiment or what.  I hope it lasts.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

pickle energy

Our friend King R is here doing some pickling of green tomatoes.  It's taking a long time.  It's nice to have him here, someone else moving around in the kitchen.  He says this place has good energy so it will make the pickles taste good.  I hope he's right.

lamancha goat video


A friend made a video using a version of a song I wrote.

White goat,
I know about cha!
You're a lamancha!
You are a sweet goat,
aren't cha?

green tomato bread realized

The bread is great!

"Can you taste the tomatoes?" I asked Ming.  He said he doesn't know.  At any rate, it's delicious.

green tomato bread imagined

I wanted to make some dessert bread with green tomatoes, like zucchini bread, where the green tomatoes are just there for moistness and fiber and to use the veggies up.

So I found a green tomato bread recipe but it calls for eggs and yogurt, and I wanted to make it vegan because of our vegan property-mate in case he wanted some.  And so I found a vegan zucchini bread recipe and just used the tomatoes instead.

I tried the batter and it tasted delicious, so I think the bread's going to be good.  It's in the oven.  I don't have any whole wheat flour so used all regular flour, and I hope that doesn't mess anything up.

My version is based on this one.  http://hellyeahitsvegan.com/vegan-zucchini-bread

six tbsp flax seed meal
half cup warm water
half cup coconut oil
half cup applesauce
two cups sugar (yikes I know)
one tsp vanilla
two and a half cups green tomatoes pureed
three cups flour
one tbsp baking powder
half tsp baking soda
two tsp cinnamon
one tsp nutmeg
half tsp allspice
half tsp salt

It's 50 to 55 minutes at 350, they say--until an inserted knife comes clean.  But I didn't preheat the oven, so maybe I'm looking at an hour.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

tempeh and green tomato pasta

I found a recipe for pasta sauce with green tomatoes.  But it had bacon.  So I made my own recipe, and it's good.

olive oil
smoked paprika

olive oil
fresh garlic
six green tomatoes diced
red pepper flakes

a cup of pasta water

fresh parsley

You can probably guess how I made it from that list, or am I giving too little information?

Anyway, it was good!  Ming says it could have used twice the amount of tomatoes.  I am all out of smoked paprika now.  I wouldn't say green tomatoes have my favorite flavor, but it's a fine way to use these up.

We picked up our friend from the Greyhound station this afternoon.  He was away for about four months.  He had adventures and is home now.  He is our property-mate.  He helped make the pasta dish, and he's a good influence vegan.

peanut butter smoothie

I made a peanut butter smoothie, and it's delicious.  I used some nonfat frozen greek yogurt from Trader Joe's, soymilk, peanut butter, and sugar.  The frozen yogurt is very tart and that comes through, but it's okay.  Also I should have dissolved the sugar in the soymilk.  Oh well.  I like it!

green tomato recipes

I researched green tomato recipes and found a salsa recipe I want to try, a pasta sauce recipe, and a bread recipe.

The salsa, I dunno, it turns into something like tomatillo salsa?  I need some peppers.

The pasta sauce recipe calls for bacon, but I think I'll use tempeh and some smoked paprika.

The bread is like a zucchini bread, sneaking in the veggies.  I'm going to make it as the recipe states then try it vegan, if it's good.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

food news

Today we got delivered two milk crates of B carrots and two milk crates of green tomatoes.  Our friend King R is going to ferment them and pickle them.

Also in the news, I want vanilla frozen yogurt from the grocery store so I can make my own peanut butter smoothie and see if it's good.

King Pigeon's kinda mean

I asked King Pigeon a question for a quarter and didn't get a straight answer out of him.  But what did I expect?

technical problems

The other day we went to Trader Joe's and "Lovesong" by the Cure was playing.  Then "Bigmouth Strikes Again" by the Smiths played, and I was amazed I am now the target audience for Trader Joe's.  Wtf.

I need to buy a new computer and some transcription software and a foot pedal.  I have this lovely Chromebook but it doesn't run windows, and it has a cloud instead of much harddrive space.  I don't really know how to use clouds, unfortunately.

I want to put my photos on a cloud, but I don't know how.  Maybe I should hire a consultant.

Also I'm anxious about whether to get a windows 10 computer or a windows 8.1.  I think used windows 8 at my parents' house and hated it.  But windows 10 is so new I don't feel sure the transcription software will work on it.

Monday, August 17, 2015

insomnia salad

This morning we went to the goddess temple and saw our priestess friend.  We talked for a long time over tea.  Then we went to the temple itself where there's a new comment book.  I wrote a sentence in it.  We saw ants.

Then we went to Mt Charleston, but we arrived ahead of our friends, who have the key to the cabin, so we went for a walk.  Dogs bothered me.

Then friends arrived and we talked a lot.  R played his guitar for us and sang.  We ate burgers.  People liked the fruit salad and beans we brought, left over Food Not Bombs beans.

Ming made the fruit salad last night while he couldn't sleep.  He didn't try the fruit, but it turned out great.

They played Blockus and R won.  I sat in the other room reading this book I like that I got out from the library.  It's called 12 x 12 and is about somebody living off the grid in a 12 x 12 shack in North Carolina.

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Freedom House

This morning we're doing a big cook.  I was waiting for the beans to boil and they were taking forever.  Then I noticed the flame wasn't on, tried to relight it--it wouldn't light.  The tank was out of propane.  H and Ming switched out the tank, and we have stove again at home.

Meanwhile Ming had carried the huge pot over to Freedom House where the beans boiled easily on the electric stove.  But it's hot in here.  The swamp cooler is not on because no one's living here right now.

I need to go back to our house to do the rice and chop the potatoes and everything.  But it's so peaceful and quiet here in Freedom House.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

rainbow's end

We are at Rainbow's End waiting for more people to show up. Political prisoner letter writing night last night was fun and we did a lot of good, I hope. We generated about 12 cards. 

Can you believe it's August 15th 2015?  I want to wrap myself in time and slow it down. 

Instead we have $5.49 apple juice and $3.85 chocolate and our own company supporting a small local store by ourselves. 

Friday, August 14, 2015

olives and olive oil

Yesterday I drank a small quantity of Ming's coffee and was up half the night writing.  I was happy but knew there would be hell to pay.  But I feel fine today and am writing more.  I'm working on a new zine and am almost done with the first draft.  It's an alphabet zine, and I have u and y left.  And k.  I just finished f but am not satisfied with it.

It looks like there's going to be another monsoon today and the wind was blowing like crazy.  The sky was a strange color.  We went to the store for green olives and olive oil.  We ended up getting paper towels and toilet paper and laundry detergent too.

It's 3 and there's political prisoner letter writing night at 6, but I'm worried I didn't clear it with the manager and there will be another event happening and we'll be SOL.  I tried calling her at the store last night but she was too busy to talk.  So I couldn't ask her if it was okay.  Ten people said they'd come on facebook.  So that anxiety is piled on my usual event-related anxiety.

I ordered shoes online and they haven't arrived.  Meanwhile my old tennies are rubbing my heels raw.  So I'm living in flip flops and didn't walk this morning.  I just wrote like a banshee, if banshees wrote.  I didn't meditate either.

Thursday, August 13, 2015


There were flash flood warnings but the ice cream man still drove into our neighborhood.  I was amazed.  There was a break in the thunder and lightning.

I asked Ming to go buy me an It's-It.  But when he went outside, the ice cream truck was gone.

Our property-mate H happened to be standing outside by the gate and told Ming the ice cream man would be back, and he was right.  Ming ran outside two hours later when we heard the ice cream truck music.

When he came back inside empty-handed, I said, "No ice cream?!"  Ming said he asked and the ice cream man said he loves It's-It but can only find it in the Bay Area.  Well, he said he'd found a mint one one time.

Mint is my favorite flavor It's-It.


Craigslist was kind of depressing--ebay moreso.  I posted about it on facebook too.  No dice.

Maybe I need to wait for a typewriter to find me, like a witch waiting for her cauldron.  But maybe I would have to wait a very long time.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015


Did I already tell you I need a typewriter?  I need a typewriter.  Anyone have a spare?  Preferably an old one, but it's still possible to get the ribbons.  I think I'll try craigslist.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Veggie House

We went to the top-rated veggie restaurant in Las Vegas.  It's called Veggie House and has a lot of fake meat.  I thought the scallops were nifty, but the fish was poor.  Our waiter was like a demon.  I didn't like the ambiance.  

I ordered the fish in black bean sauce, but the waiter heard "hot bean sauce" so I didn't get the black bean sauce I so craved, too shy to ask for a correction.

Then we had a little time and were already in Chinatown, so we went to get me boba--I ordered what amounted to a peanut butter shake with boba, only they forgot the boba, so I was disappointed, but it was so sweet and so good.

Then I went to my mental health place which I was sick with anxiety about, and I hated it so hard.  The small talk with the nurse, everything.  Being evaluated.  The way she turned the paper over so I couldn't see.  I'm going to try to get a new psychiatrist.  

Monday, August 10, 2015

to do

Yesterday I didn't want to serve the hungry so Ming went to Food Not Bombs without me.  I wrote letters at the cafe in the gay center.  They kicked out a homeless person and I worried they would kick me out too, for writing too long as my vegan tomato soup got cold.

I want to start wearing sunscreen again so I got some SPF 15 from Trader Joe's that's intended for the face.  I really should have worn some on the trip.  I'm afraid of getting skin cancer on my arms especially.  I want to go to a dermatologist and get everything checked out.  I need to figure out how.

My to do list is shrinking.  Ming's setting up the tent so he can hose it off and let it dry out before he packs it back up again.

Someone in New Zealand messaged me asking for some zines for a traveling show and then a zine museum.  I will go to the postie today.

Sunday, August 09, 2015

good to be home

I bought new flip flops.  My old ones got wet while we were camping and started to rot, which I didn't know was really possible.  These ones are brown.  I like them.

My to do list is bothering me.  There's too much on it though I tackled some difficult things first.

This morning we walked at the track.  It was not too hot though it was 6:45 already (we usually walk around 5:30).  I feel grateful for the easing back into Las Vegas heat.

I feel grateful for a lot of things.  The health of my peeps.  New flip flops.  Food and water and cold brew tea.

Saturday, August 08, 2015

goodbye to Kingman

Ming opened the drawer of the bedside table.  "Oh, this is interesting!" he said loudly.

I lazily expected a bible and some XL condoms like we found in the hotel room at Lake Tahoe.

I looked and was delighted to see a copy of the Bagavad Gita.  I laughed.  Yes, the owner of this Econolodge is an Indian guy.

"That's a blogable moment," I said.  Ming's downstairs now getting something from the car.  He swam this morning.  He said the pool was small.

The hotel questions: do we take the pen?  The used soap?

Friday, August 07, 2015

Las Vegas or bust

We set up our tent at a different free campsite.  Then it started thundering.  Then it started pouring.  Unfortunately, our tent is old and I love it but water started seeping in and got stuff wet, so Ming packed us up, drove two hours to Kingman, and we are in a hotel room not sleeping.

I feel kind of sad.  But this trip has been met with almost zero adversity, so I can handle getting rained out our last travel night.

Tomorrow morning Ming wants to swim in the hotel pool.  Then we'll go home.

cute at the Arizona reststop

home time

Today we begin the journey homeward.  New Mexico holds many mysteries still--that weird sound like a sprinkler, vinegaroons, all the places besides here.

I feel like we saw such a small, small fraction, but my capacity for newness is used up.  It's time to go home.

Unfortunately it's supposed to thunderstorm in Flagstaff today.  So I don't think we can camp at our free former spot, which is up a bad dirt road near Walnut Canyon.

I liked all the monsoon rain here and am glad it didn't flood.

Thursday, August 06, 2015


Yesterday: vegan sushi denied (the place was closed), went to Lake Roberts where we hiked and got bit by multitudes of mosquitoes, visited a hot, dim grotto with flickering candles and the smell of roses, read poetry while Ming mowed the lawn, visiting a man in a cob house who we were warned might be naked and saw his garden overrun with grasshoppers.

Verdict: New Mexico has a lot of grasshoppers.  I expected it to be sand and amazing rocks, but this part at least is very green.

Wednesday, August 05, 2015

Silver City

I'm at my friend's table in New Mexico with wildflowers.  We had a delicious breakfast she cooked up with toast.  It was too hot to sleep last night for a while.  Then Ming moved the fan.  He does so much for me it's ridiculous.

It's hard for me to be social but so rewarding.  I'm always worried I'm doing it wrong, though.  I try to be a good Laura-Marie.

Today we're probably going to a lake, to see a friend, for Japanese food.  Yay!  Maybe there will be vegan sushi.

Tuesday, August 04, 2015

too much fun

We have been having so much fun it's hard to document it all. The observatory yesterday, camping at a free campground last night. The juniper pinyon forest with its unique charm.

Then cliff dwellings this morning at Walnut Canyon. And old town Flagstaff. I bought pretty postcards. 

Oh and in Kingman we went to a cafe that has an art gallery attached to it. We saw a beautiful wooden bowl shaped like a coffin, sort of. I wanted to buy it for someone but didn't know who. 

Oh and we went to Cracker Barrel so Ming could have the experience. It didn't seem to weird him out the way it does me. 

I wish I could hold onto all of this. 

Monday, August 03, 2015

at the observatory

Sunday, August 02, 2015

Las Vegas

We are home just for a night then east to New Mexico.  The drive today was pretty good.  We talked about the effectiveness of vitamins, the people we know, how we're doing.  Stool softeners.  Stuff like that.  I don't think we listened to music at all.  And we didn't stop much.  We skipped Baker.

Oh, we stopped in Goleta to walk the pier at the beach and in Santa Barbara for smoothies at Blenders in the Grass.

Now we have mountains of mail.  Water for dinner.  Thoughts from letters are bouncing around in my head in a pleasant way.  I like home.

Saturday, August 01, 2015


Yesterday we stopped in Yreka on our way south from Ashland. We went to this restaurant called Nature's Kitchen where the food was expensive but it was fun to look around at all the hippie stuff after our meal. I had never been to Yreka. It was a joy. I almost bought some extraordinarily colorful socks. 

We also went to Mt Shasta the town where M got a map of Black Butte. I filled my water bottle at the spring and looked at another hippie store where I was attracted to earrings and some iconogrqphy. 

Now we're headed south again and will stop in Berkeley to see Ming's kids.  I wish I had presents for everyone.