dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Bay Area Anarchist Bookfair

I'm excited about the Bay Area Anarchist Bookfair which is happening in Golden Gate Park on March 17th and 18th.


happy last day of February

Yesterday Erik and I went to the county pharmacy and got my new medications. I started on one of them right away. I don't know if it was just a coincidence or if it was a side-effect, but I got really sleepy and a little dizzy.

Today I think I'm going to copy issue 40 of Erik and Laura-Marie Magazine.

Tonight our friend P is giving a workshop on oral history at a library downtown, so Erik and I are going to go there and see if he's a good teacher.

Our Soundtrack Project

This is a new zine I have two pieces in. I have some copies to give away, if you want one. You can learn more about it here.



Monday, February 26, 2007

you are beautiful

Very worthwhile project. And you can get free stickers.



mushroom, originally uploaded by ELund.

And this fabulous mushroom.

great blue heron

, originally uploaded by ELund.

Erik took this yesterday too.

god light

, originally uploaded by ELund.

Erik took this yesterday. I couldn't like it any more than I do.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

redefining necessary

I guess the grapes weren't necessary either, but they're really good too.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

changed my mind again

I'm definitely going to take one of the new medications, but I'm chickening out on the other two, for good reasons. I need to talk to my caseworker and try having a conversation with a nurse. And get a new doctor.

In other news, I am in love with some new Chinese mustard flavor won ton chips from Trader Joe's--the first unnecessary food we bought in a while, maximum yummy.

Friday, February 23, 2007

excellent mail day, a choice made

Today I got a new stack of zines to review for Zine World, and I'm happy. I also got a stack of copies of issue one of a new zine called Our Soundtrack Project. I have two pieces published in it--I'm totally tickled to be in the first and last spot.

I got a letter from my cousin and a letter from my dearest Florida resident. I couldn't be more pleased to hear from them and have a lot to reply to.

Today I decided I'm probably going to go ahead and try all the medications I was prescribed at my appointment yesterday. So we'll go to the county pharmacy on Monday.


Thursday, February 22, 2007

did you know?

Until 1950, 7 Up had lithium in it. Trip out, huh.

review published

My review of Red Velvet Seat was published on Feminist Review today.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007


A trusted bipolar friend recommended this site to me, and Erik has been reading there--I've read a little too.



I was craving candy today: fruity candy in particular. Erik took us to Whole Foods, and I got some vegan organic gummi bears. They're good.

We finished our book Clouds of Witness by Dorothy Sayers and need a new one.


Yesterday I went shopping for a special cabinet for Samiti with P, D, and M. It was fun. We went to a furniture store called Homewood in Rancho Cordova. We're going to stack one corner unit on another, and I think it's going to look really cool.

Today I went to lunch with P and J for J's birthday. She's 73 today.

Tomorrow I have the doctor's appointment I've been waiting for / dreading. Erik's researching medications, trying to get some sense of what I might be prescribed and what we would like for me to be prescribed. I'm agitated and nervous.

Monday, February 19, 2007

burden of bag

me: Do you ever find that carrying too many pairs of scissors is weighing your purse down?

him: I never have that problem.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

three nightmares

Today I worked at the Vedanta bookstore for the first time. C showed me how to duplicate audio tapes. I learned how to write up a purchase and use the credit card machine. I learned how the books are arranged and how to close up. I like it there, and it smells really good. I would like to be there alone and just stare out the window for a while. As it was, my friend D was there with me, and she talked on the phone much of the time. It's kind of fun to listen to someone talking on the phone, but I would rather look out the window quietly.

Anyway, maybe I'll start volunteering there regularly. I was just covering a shift.

This morning I woke up from a nightmare for the third morning in a row.

Last night's: Erik and I and someone else are imprisoned. We live in a cold, blue prison cell. But something happens with a guard, and Erik is going to be removed to another prison, a very bad one like a concentration camp. A guard could come at any time to take him away. Finally a guard does come. I wish he would have mercy on us and decide not to take Erik away. But he doesn't. Erik has to wear special clothes. The guard leads him away, and I know I will probably never see him again. I am filled with the most painful anguish a person can feel.

Night before: Books begin to malfunction. Then machines no longer work. Then houses begin to rot from inside the walls. Then crops will no longer grow. Strange colorful birds come to pick at the empty fields. Everyone is going hungry, and people try to cross the border into Mexico to look for food. Some days the border is open, some days closed. Everyone is on foot (since machine don't work anymore) and roving in bands. The river is swollen and has erratic waves that can carry someone away at any moment. Culture is collapsing. We have nothing to eat, no where to live, and nothing to read.

Night before that: A fight, and someone's eyeball is gouged out. She puts it in her mouth. (Other bad parts I will not recount.)

These are common themes: post-apocalyptic and bad prison dreams.

Tonight Erik's at a Buddhist sit and talk, not at his usual Soto Zen place but an inter-Buddhist place. Some Vipassana dude is talking. He should be home any minute now.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

purple lupine

Purple Lupine, originally uploaded by ELund.

Lupine has been one of my favorite flowers for a long time. Erik took this on this last hike.

Friday, February 16, 2007

plum jam and zines

For Christmas my swami gave me some plum jam, made there--I don't know where the plum tree is. But today I've tried it for the first time, and it's just lovely. I don't know that I had eaten plum jam before. But it's just like you'd imagine--like plum sauce, but really sweet instead of really salty, and good on toast.

Today was warm in the afternoon. Erik and I are reading Clouds of Witness by Dorothy Sayers, and I made some more photocopies. Everything's bound. But I'm not sure if I'm going to send functionally ill by itself or wait until ELM #40 is finished and send them together to save on postage.

Yesterday my dear A sent the cover she made for ELM #40, and I love it.

At any rate, I'm sending functionally ill to the people I've recently written letters to, so a few people will read it soon.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

did you know?

A way to tell raspberries from blackberries is that raspberries are hollow. Now that I think about it, I've noticed that raspberries are hollow.

whoa: keep this in mind for fall

Superstition in the UK holds that blackberries should not be picked after 15th September as the devil has claimed them.


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

happy blogoversary

Today is my one year blogoversary. Can you believe I've been blogging for one year? I sure can. It's tradition to repost your very first post. But I will eschew tradition and instead tell you my favorite joke, which I don't think I've ever told you you before. Warning: it could be considered slightly offensive.

Q: How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb?


Erik and I still don't practice Valentine's day. We didn't buy anything. If we had a lot of money, I would buy him chocolate, though--lots of See's. And he would buy me flowers. But those could be for any day. Every day is a good day.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

raisin bread

I'm always surprised when my bread turns out, and this morning, some did. I don't like raisins but buy them periodically to try to force myself to like them. Anyway, this is really delicious. I've made it before with prunes. I'm eating some this very moment with lots of butter.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Marxist events this week

Tuesday, Feb 13, Room 11, Sierra 2 Ctr, 2791 24th St., Sacramento, 7-9pm. The Attack on Higher Education.

This will provide people with background information and historical context for the panel discussion on Feb. 15. This is intended for the public! Also--you can attend and benefit from either one of these activities without attending the other. Discussion to be led by Marxist School Board members.

Readings :
"Technology and the Commodification of Higher Education"
by David F. Noble

"Digital Diploma Mills: The Automation of Higher Education"
by David F.Noble

"Fighting against the Conservative Agenda in the Academy"
by Anthony Nocella, II, Syracuse U.

Next Point of View Lecture
Thursday, Feb. 15; Sierra 2 Center, Green Room, 2791-24th Street, 7-9pm. Panel discussion: Class Struggle at CSU Sacramento: A Marxist analysis of the assault on academic excellence at CSUS. Confirmed panelists: Faculty members Manuel Barajas, Jackie Carrigan, Jeff Lustig and Kevin Wehr, plus graduate students James Banyai and Loran Garcia.

lentils are for lovers

I got some great mail today--two letters from my favorite resident of Florida, and a letter from my favorite resident of the Netherlands.

Erik's at a Buddhist talk. He's hiking tomorrow. I've been reading the nursing textbook P wrote, and I'm thinking of making some lentils.

I've been feeling pretty stable for the past few days. It feels really good.

Raining again.

Saturday, February 10, 2007


SAT scoring is over. Yay. This morning I was crying over missed check sets, sleep-deprived. So I'm glad we're done. My stats were fine, in the end.

Pouring here. I was afraid winter was over without us ever getting proper rains, but I'm happy to be wrong.

Friday, February 09, 2007


My left arm had 16 mosquito bites on it after all. My forehead, four. And an unknown amount on my scalp.

The worst is over, and I slept just fine, last night.

But I'll follow the advice of smart friends and keep some antihistamine on hand for next time.

often the best rivalries are between the best friends

me: Wikipedia's entry on pummelos crashes Firefox.

him: That's because they're so sour. Foxes don't like sour foods.

juice, potatoes

Last night I made me and Erik some grapefruit juice from three pummelos that were given to us. It was heavenly.

For dinner we had baked potatoes with sauted mushrooms. I ate mine with some avocado, and Erik ate his with some salad dressing we like, Annie's Woodstock.

Considering I'm an adult who loves food, I'm terribly ignorant about potatoes. I know I love hash browns--crispy, flat. Other than that...I know I like potatoes with cheese, and potato soup, but not enough to bother with those recipes.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

cow friends

, originally uploaded by ELund.

I'm particularly fond of this cow photo Erik took last hike with T.

dew drops

dew drops, originally uploaded by ELund.

Erik's photo of dew drops on anise, taken in Ellwood Beach.

Limantour Spit

Limantour Spit, originally uploaded by ELund.

Erik took this the last time he hiked with his friend T. It's my current desktop.

elephant seals

Elephant Seals, originally uploaded by ELund.

Erik took this picture on our drive home from Santa Maria two weekends ago. The elephant seals are overwintering near San Simeon. These are two sleeping females.

monterey jack

I forgot how good monterey jack can be. The brick I have right now is flavorful and very nice, with a lot more moisture than I remember.

I made a cheese, tomato, avocado sandwich for lunch, and it was first rate.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

itchy and scratchy

I have 11 mosquito bites on my left arm, wrist, and hand. They itch like crazy, like poison oak. I'm also having a bad allergy attack. Maybe it's those bites, or maybe it's mold.

Supposed to rain for four days. And the garden will get a good drench.

Two or three more days of SAT scoring--we can do it!!!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

functionally ill

I made a blog for my new zine. Nothing's there yet, though.


Monday, February 05, 2007

everything is best: I didn't write this

Nobody talks about how zen is one of the funniest religions around. Here's a koan I saw somewhere.

Everything is Best

One day Banzan was walking through a market. He overheard a customer say to the butcher, "Give me the best piece of meat you have." "Everything in my shop is the best," replied the butcher. "You can not find any piece of meat that is not the best." At these words, Banzan was enlightened.

guess what?

Mosquitoes at the garden--I got bit today. They buzzed around me, sometimes in a mosquito-cloud. Isn't it a bit early?

P and I transplanted groundcover on the Shankara mound. It was pretty fun. My body's going to ache from the shovel. The earth over there is almost hard as a rock.

Tomorrow we're going to clip some old groundcover on the Shiva mound so that the old, tough leaves are gone and some pretty new growth can grow.

The Asians left. Remember the ones a month or two ago who one smashed the other's car in the parking lot? I noticed that painters were painting when I walked by this afternoon, and it was empty.

I did it

I finished my review for Feminist Review, I finished the journal I was working on for 1001 journals, I finished my Valentine's present for niece 1, and I finished putting together my new mental health zine functionally ill (though I still need to edit, print, bind, and send it).


LM: I want coffee, chocolate, banana pudding, butterscotch pudding, bananas, strawberries, chocolate-covered baklava, cherries, chocolate-covered cherries, and chocolate-covered coffee beans. Can I have that?

E: I don't think that would be a very healthy breakfast.

LM: I wouldn't eat it for breakfast. I would have it spread throughout the day.

Saturday, February 03, 2007


I noticed that I'll be talking to niece 1, and I'll say, "You know how whatever?" meaning, "Please call to mind concept whatever so we can talk about it," but she answers, "How?" as if I were really asking how. Erik thinks maybe I'm the only person who uses this idiom with her.

heat shield

When Erik and I were driving home from Santa Maria, after visiting our friends the elephant seals, our car started to make a weird noise that scared me. Upon investigation, we found that something on the underside of our car had come loose. It was periodically scraping on the ground, which was the sound we were hearing.

To make a long story short, it fell off, and we knew it would. We were on Highway 1 at the time, and Erik made a quick U-turn and picked it up.

We took photos of it for my dad to tell us what it is, and he said it's a heat shield for the exhaust, that we don't need to be worried as long as we don't drive it in tall, dry grass, and that he'll reattach it for us next time we visit.

Corydalis linstowiana is so cute.

Someone special IDed my ghost flowers for me, so now we know a little more about them: Corydalis, maybe Corydalis linstowiana. Butterfly babies like to eat some Corydalis, and a common name is fumewort: fabulous. Also, they can grow in deep shade, which is what my specimens were doing, creekside at the BG, near some dawn redwoods.


Erik's thought of the day

Everyone in society should do everything they can not to encourage surgeons to have big egos.

(He told me this while making me a sandwich for breakfast this morning, after I told him the story of what a surgeon did to my friend P while she was working as an operating room nurse.)

Thursday, February 01, 2007

ghost flowers

I'm nearly certain this beautiful flower picture didn't get the attention it deserved back when it was taken by Erik at the last Berkeley botanic garden trip. (I would love if anyone could tell me what they're called.)


In case you were wondering, goats are ungulates.

monarch: proboscis

Is it just me, or is this the most fabulous photo ever? Erik took it Sunday.