dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Saturday, December 31, 2016

friends on the last night of 2016

from our journey

sad things

Ming's got his health problem back--we thought he was well, but he's not.  We feel worried and my joy is sapped.

Did I tell you someone abandoned their truck in our driveway?  It's been there for a month.  We have a driveway wide enough for about nine cars (there are three houses on our property).  I feel kind of angry about it.  Strangers park there sometimes, which is bad behavior, but abandoning a vehicle there is a new low.

The pharmacy is out of one of my meds, but I have enough to last.

I was going to make enchiladas for New Years, but my sadness makes me feel aimless.  We'll see.

Friday, December 30, 2016

glorified tomato soup

Ate some bad expensive Indian food.  They gave me some rice that was in a metal dish that had a lid so hot I couldn't touch it.  I used my fabric napkin to open the lid.

Also we went to Red Rock today and enjoyed a walk in a canyon.  The earth was blue then tan then red.

Also I wrote a poem I like about my dad being gone.  It's short, which is a surprise.



Nevada Desert Experience got mentioned in this counterpunch list!

Thursday, December 29, 2016

oh snail climb mt fuji

Yesterday we traveled home from the land of my birth back to Las Vegas.  It was a good but difficult trip.  We stopped in Boron and got some weird postcards.

Today we ran errands and saw Ming's sis and her spouse.  We ate at Makers & Finders.  Ming talked about jumping off the Stratosphere.  "I've only heard that story about 90 times," I said afterward.

"Yeah, but it gets a good reaction," Ming said.  We had argued about him not believing me that ambulances have devices to change the street lights.

I got my book about Sedona vortices in the mail.  Now I have to read it.

Slowly responding to some mail.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016


An ant was on me.  I was like, what the hell.  That was yesterday.

Just now another ant was on me.  It bit me on my arm.  What the hell.  I didn't even do anything to it.

I got Ming some chocolate bread (pain au chocolate) but the worker said it was a chocolate croissant.  He said he'd bring some coffee after it brewed, but he never did.  So Ming asked this other guy, and the other guy gave him coffee.  Then the original guy finally came with the coffee.  I was sorry.

I have kombucha.  It's jasmine and delicious but sweet.  Oops.  I made a mistake.

Planning a cd for a friend and enjoying life.

Monday, December 26, 2016


Ming took brother's dog for a 4 mile walk today.  I wonder if the dog had ever walked that far.  Her name is Lola.  She's a pretty good dog but stinky.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

tamales from facebook

Tonight's the tamales eating night!

cutest ornaments circa 1980, Mom-made

earrings I made Mom

"Are earrings easy to make, or am I getting better at it?" I asked Ming.

"They're not easy to make because you have to get the things to face the right way," he said.  I have agonized about that in the past, but if I have my examples, I'm good, the ones I made first, ones for me.

It's extra nice because Mom had earrings before that looked sorta like this but lost one.  So now it's come full circle.

scrub jay

Ming and I were walking at the park.  I was complaining more than usual.  We saw a scrub jay.  For some reason I explained they like the scrub.

"Do you mean shrubs?" Ming asked.

"No, the scrub," I said.  "You know, like in the foothills, not the conifer forest or the real oaks--just the scrub."

"Oh," Ming said.  "I thought you used them to scrub pans.  Oosh, oosh."  He made a scrubbing motion.

"I love that, but I hate it," I said.

golden an

This morning we were talking about the golden an which goes into the tan van, my favorite Sesame Street sketch ever.  Here it is, my Christmas gift to you, dear reader.

Mom and me

Saturday, December 24, 2016

books, Muppet ritual, bird & bees

Yesterday we went to the town of my birth for farmers market but it got rained out.  We also went to bookstores and a cafe.  Local place names, Aesop's fables.  Postcards about a plover.

Ming got astronomy for dummies and a graphic history of Charles Darwin?  And I think something else I forgot.

Today Mom needs to shop, which is so brave, and I need to do some last minute crafting.  Ming is sweetly sleeping still.  We have to listen to the Muppets Christmas album and decorate the tree, which we may all be dreading since Dad is gone.

A bird chirps in the dark.  The bee pic I glued onto my computer, the ink's coming off so there are big white spots on the bees.  Happy christmas.

Friday, December 23, 2016

vacant lot cheeseweed

succulents in pumpkin

perfectly ripe avocado in Morro Bay

Thursday, December 22, 2016

on the road

vigil at Creech

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

emergency room

Yesterday Ming went to urgent care and they wouldn't do anything for him.  They suck.  So we went to the emergency room.  Emergency rooms suck too.  We waited for a long time, of course, and they made some mistakes.

mistake #1)  They got him confused with another of his same first name.  The other one was having heart problems, so at one point they were treating Ming like he was kind of having an emergency.

mistake #2)  They drew his blood for a heart-related test, thinking he was this other guy.  So he got his blood drawn twice, one of the sticks being completely unnecessary.

mistake #3)  They prescribed him the one medication he's allergic to.

mistake #4)  They excluded me from everything.

I'm scared of doctors and all things medical almost to the point of phobia, so I was wrestling with my own mind the whole time, trying to keep calm.

It left me with lots of tension in my neck, head, and eyes.  When we finally got out of there, we went to Ethiopian food, which was delicious.

Then I had a meeting with a friend, and it was really good for me.  Then we picked up the tamales.  Then we went to a Catholic Worker holiday party.  The gifts we gave were well-received.

And all that's why I didn't blog yesterday.

Monday, December 19, 2016

mysterious symbol on zipper pull

Sunday, December 18, 2016

photo booth at the pinball museum

waiting for a table at Vegenation

I love carrot soup

Who knew I would love carrot soup!

cold morning

It's 57 degrees in here with the stupid fireplace heater on for more than two hours.  Wtf.  It's 29 outside.  We're been up cooking beans for Food Not Bombs, five pounds, but we'll start some carrot soup in a little while.  I've never made carrot soup because I don't like it.  So let's keep our fingers crossed.

Saturday, December 17, 2016

trans lives matter

This photo is bad because you can't see the colors on the sticker--my bestie designed them--but it'll do for now.  We had 100 printed.  Let me know if you want one!

pan tree

Ming got the mass mailing sent yesterday afternoon then took our friend G to lunch, his bribe for going with Ming all the way across town by the airport.  It was the airport Indian food restaurant, and they liked it.  It's called Pure.  You can watch the planes while you eat buffet.

This morning I worked on Christmas presents and hurt the backside of the my thumb when a tool slipped.  It's merely a scratch.

I made a list of foods that I like that are good for me and bought some of them at the grocery store.  Last night Ming cooked me up some spinach with garlic.

Ming said the plastic pot in the kitchen needs to go.  I said he should put it in the garden.  "So we can grow a pot tree?" he asked.

"I don't like pot," I said.

"That's almost as good as a pan tree," he said.

This morning when we served the hungry it was so windy and cold.  I suffered for an hour or so, which is nothing compared to the suffering of the people who have to live in it.

Friday, December 16, 2016


We're going to Sedona in the new year, a place I've been interested in for a while.  It's a very New Agey place, maybe like Mt Shasta the town.  Psychics, crystal shops, etc?  Art galleries.  But I think it's bigger than Mt Shasta the town.

There are supposed to be these energy vortices and I don't know what you're supposed to do in a vortex.  My friend recommends a certain book.  I want to try the internet first.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, we got the mailing all prepared.  Ming's going to the post office with it this afternoon, a source of fear.  I made sweet potatoes for breakfast with a tahini sauce.  Yum

Thursday, December 15, 2016

miracle problems

Last night I went to bed so early, flippin' early, that I was awake before 5 this morning.  Ming was up watching a movie on his computer.  Now he's setting up NDE's new printer.  I folded appeal letters, stuffed envelopes, sealed envelopes with purple gluestick...

Now we're listening to David Bowie.  This morning we have a peace vigil.  This afternoon we have a folding party in the back house.  Ming skipped serving this morning, and it seems R slept through it.  His truck's still outside.

We ate some tree collards from the backyard, good to eat them before bugs do.  I remember our Las Vegas friends who came to Sacramento to help us move, how they marveled at a sidewalk snail and took pictures of it.  No snails in the desert, but we have other miracle problems.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

want vs need

We have been gone or on the go.  This morning I've relaxed, replied to emails, tried my new granola...  We're back to the old barely-functional heater in the living room.  You have to keep it on low or it trips the circuit breaker.  It's up at 63 degrees in here.  Oh boy.

Ming's out helping R do something food pickup related.  I hope he comes home soon.  I have some errands I need to run.  I need to go to Michael's, for example, for earring parts.  We need onions, sweet potatoes, mango tea.  Well, we don't really need mango tea.

A penpal once sent me a tag with the quote on it, "Why have bread and water when they can so easily be toast and tea?"  Is that a quote you've heard before hearing from me?  Maybe it's common in her country.

I hung the laundry.  I'm annoyed I have a mammogram today.  I hate doctors and procedures and tests.  I hate going to a place I've never been to before, not knowing what will happen.

Yesterday I clipped my fingernails out in the desert.  I like them short.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

rainbow sunshine

At my favy place to get a smoothie but they changed things around and it's even less friendly. The vegan jerky is in a new place and the owners seem to hate my guts! What did I ever do wrong?

They made me the Rainbow Sunshine though it's no longer on the menu but the owner charged me $8 when the worker wrote $6 on the slip. Tricky tricky.

We're waiting for our favorite print shop to finish making our proofs so we can okay them and pick up the final product hopefully tomorrow.

Then Thursday is our folding party where we'll hopefully get all the envies stuffed and labels affixed.

The music is distracting me so that's all for now.

Monday, December 12, 2016

from the goddess temple

We are at the goddess temple on a small retreat. I blog to you on my phone. I crave sugar.

Right now Ming is out at Peace Camp looking for Shadow Children. I am supposed to go pick him up in just less than an hour. I drove, a big deal for me.

We have great books. We have paper aplenty. I don't think I ever said aplenty before. Isn't it great how we can find newness, like learning something new every day?

Sunday, December 11, 2016

carrot soup imagined

Today we have three things--a Food Not Bombs serving, a church thing, and a housewarming party.  Ming said he'd help make carrot soup for the party.  I hate carrot soup and don't know if I can make something delicious for other people if I hate it.  But I can try.

The church thing always makes me feel like the freak of the world because I don't like to talk at it.  And I don't want to bring Ming down.  I'm afraid my not talking makes people feel uncomfortable.  Sometimes I think I should stop going because I'm just too weird.  That's sad.

Yesterday we went to Haven Craft and bought some supermoon super blessed Sekhmet anointing oil to support the temple.  I thought an ounce was a tiny little amount, but it's much bigger than I imagined, and I don't know what to do with it.  I just don't anoint things much.

I want to read books more.  I want to write more.  I already write a lot though.  There are only so many hours.  I slept too much last night on accident.  Ming went to the Standing rock fundraiser without me, which I'm glad about.

"Did you put the fun in fundraiser?" I asked Ming this morning.  He told me he ate some fry bread plain.

Saturday, December 10, 2016


This morning we had two meetings.  I was uncomfortable.

Also our houseguest left.  I'm bad at transitions.

But we had a nice breakfast and tea.  It's Saturday.  Happy Saturday.

Friday, December 09, 2016

scantron in the donation box, statues at the museum


our outside cat Nonchalant

apple tasting demystified

I wrote this great blog post about apple tasting for a friend.  Please go read it on her blog.


yesterday in review

delicious breakfast
great package came in the mail
good peace vigil at the federal building
fun at the pupusaria
fun at the chocolate factory and cactus garden
long nap
arroz con gandules

things falling by the wayside
Christmas music everywhere we go
feeling abused by Christmas
sugar deprivation

Thursday, December 08, 2016

Ming's treat

We went to the chocolate factory and Ming got a chocolate covered marshmallow with sprinkles.  He ate it in the cactus garden.

pupusas de loroco

Yesterday we went to the goddess temple.  It was fun having tea with the priestess and singing in the temple.  The sun went down.  We walked in the desert on dirt roads.  We talked about microbial desert crust.

Then we went to Costco for pizza.  I said how Costco depresses me because of the excess.  We talked about our grandparents.

At night back at the ranch, we talked about the langar post on my blog and its response.  C wanted to read it and the comments.  She made smart observations.

Today there are pupusas in our future.  And writing.

Wednesday, December 07, 2016

holiday appeal

Nevada Desert Experience is the interfaith peace org that Ming and I help run here in Las Vegas.  Here's the letter our dear friend Mark wrote as a holiday appeal.


pinball museum last night

Tuesday, December 06, 2016

us at Red Rock today


Good morning.  Yesterday we went to Tecopa hot springs and soaked.  It was fun.  And China Ranch Date Farm for dates and a picnic and a walk.

Now it's morning and dark.  The day is full of possibility.  First, breakfast.

Sunday, December 04, 2016

house mystery

Gmorning.  Today our friend arrives to be a houseguest for several days.  I should clean up a little.  I ate a bagel.

Maybe I shouldn't eat bagels since they are carb bombs.  Maybe I should talk to a nutritionist.  I'm trying not to get diabetes.

It's 37 degrees outside.  Last night I slept so well.  I slept almost the whole night!  I woke up and cuddled on Ming's back once, woke him up from a nightmare once, and had a little nerve pain.  But I didn't have to get up and pee.

While we were gone, someone moved around chairs in our house and unrolled the kitchen window's shade.  They did that probably so they could not be seen, which is creepy.  Who was it?  R told me it wasn't him.  I would rather it had been him.

Saturday, December 03, 2016


It's official--the northern route home is way faster for us.  We are back in Las Vegas and it's cold.  Ming's out running errands.

We took a heater from the backhouse for our houseguest who's coming tomorrow.  It works well.  Ming set it up here in the living room.  I feel my body loosening up.

I bought some passionflower tea at a Mexican grocery store and tried it out today.  Tastes like hay.  I wonder if there's some folk use of it, or medicinal use.

Lots of good flow of emails and such.  Communication's happening.

Here's a pretty candybar Ming bought.

Friday, December 02, 2016

that's what it's all about

It's our last full day at the undisclosed location.  We are at our favorite cafe.  Ming is eating deep fried artichoke hearts.

Yesterday was Mom's birthday.  We danced the hokey pokey in the backyard in the dark.  It was fun.  You gotta do what you gotta do.

Thursday, December 01, 2016

cafe today

it's by Shirley Jackson

Last night I told Ming and Mom the story of "The Lottery" which I thought was by Flannery O'Connor.  Oops, just looked it up.

It was a real downer.  I told them how I read it at school--it wasn't assigned, I was just flipping through the book.  When I got to the end, I nearly peed my pants.

So then as an antidote I told them a different story.  About the guy who's walking through the forest and meets a satyr.  He can blow on his hands to warm them and blow on soup to cool it.