dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

going home day

We were at this reststop walking back to the car having been thwarted by closed bathrooms when we saw a guy pushing a cart of bins of snacks. I thought he was  going to refill a vending machine. 

"Don't jump the snack man," I told Ming, and he laughed and told me he had been thinking the same thing. 

Last night we camped at a KOA in Green River. Unfortunately our campsite was right by the playground. But once the kids left, I slept. 

Yesterday we recrossed the continental divide in a tunnel, which was exciting for Ming. As for me, tunnels scare me but I try to keep that in check. 

Monday, May 30, 2016

double arch


This morning we left Hotel Sketch for the last time. I had to go back upstairs to get our dirty towels and hand them to the creepy desk guy. 

But that's hours ago. Now we're 20 miles from Arches National Park. "There are a lot of people leaving the park!" Ming said. 

We hope they're going home leaving room in the park for us. We're camping at Green River tonight. 

Then tomorrow is home. 

Sunday, May 29, 2016


our hero's trusty sidekick with snow

Boulder day two

This morning we left Hotel Sketch and Ming drove us to Boulder. We went to a cafe and I wrote in my journal. 

Then we went to Lucile's for breakfast. It was crowded. We sat at a community table with two kids and their grandparents. It was tense. The kid nearest kept staring at me!  What's so weird about me?

The food was good but portions were huge. The potatoes are amazingly cajuny. But I don't know if I would go back. 

Then we were like what should we do next?  On a whim we decided to go to Rocky Mountain National Park. 

Holy crap!  It was so beautiful. It started to snow. We got to 11,700 feet. I felt faint. Ming wanted to walk around in the snow, so he did. I took some pics I will post here. 

Super worth it. Now we're going back to the tea factory to see the prairie dogs and buy some blueberry tea. Then I want to see the apartment complex where my bestie lived during grad school.

how our hotel room is sketchy

1.  rule posted at the front desk: no loitering even in lobby
2.  millions of keys on the wall
3.  no clean towels--Ming had to go down an hr after we checked in for towels
4.  weak toilet that half-flushes
5.  100% polyester sheets 
6.  tv remote is connected to the bed's headboard by a metal string
7.  the matress is covered in plastic
8.  matress slips around on the boxspring
9.  everything smells weird 
10.  creaky floor
11.  janky lock
12.  no hot water

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Boulder day one

Today we left Cheyenne and went to Boulder, where we had tea at this supercool imported teashop. Words fail me. We waited twenty minutes for a table. I find waiting to be holy and beautiful much of the time. 

Then we tried to go to Naropa but all the buildings were locked.  

We walked to the library where I recharged some batteries by writing in my journal and staring out the window. 

Then we went to the Celestial Seasonings tea factory and took a tour. I love tea and had never toured a factory, so I was very happy. 

While we waited for our tour to start, we got to sample all the tea we could drink.  We got free tea to take home too. There was a little movie and then we put on hairnets and were on our way. 

My favorite part was being in the mint room. My eyes burned from all the minty goodness. 

Now we're at a very sketchy hotel in Denver. Tomorrow we'll go back to Boulder. 

Dushunbe teahouse

Friday, May 27, 2016

our lady

Virgin of Guadalupe

Virgin Mary

Well, Ming got his way and we went to Nebraska. Near the border is a 30 foot statue of the Virgin Mary. 

a day in Cheyenne

This morning I walked partway around a lake. Ming walked the whole way. 

Then we went to a Russian-themed coffeeshop that was pretty cool. You could buy a bike jersy for something like $80 and pretend they sponsered you. 

Then we went to the state museum, which is free!  I liked it very much. I think it was the second-best museum I had ever been to. (The best is Oakland Museum of California.). The best free one for sure. 

Then we went to the train depot!  It was pretty. A nice man talked to us, gave us stickers, gave us coupon books, and told us another museum he likes. But I'm kind of museumed out. 

Ming wants to go to Nebraska. I don't. He just wants to bag a state.

Tomorrow we leave Wyoming. I am ready to go though have had a wonderful time here. I'm excited about Boulder and Denver but nervous too. 

I write this from a fancy restaurant in the Plains Hotel. We had veggie burgers and mushrooms. We listened to the conversation of executives. They are high powered. Me too. 



Thursday, May 26, 2016

Terry's Bison Ranch

This morning we went to the hospital where my mom was born.  I was overjoyed, and Ming took a picture.

Then we went to the Cheyenne botanic gardens but couldn't see inside the greenhouses--they were closed.  Actually we only found one greenhouse.  There was loud construction going on and loud music for the workers.  But we walked the labyrinth while listening to "Sweet Home Alabama."

Then we went to Terry's Bison Ranch where we rode a homemade train around the ranch and saw a herd of bison, including some babies.  It was amazing.  We had bison food pellets for them, and we took turns feeding the bison by hand.  It was like feeding a cow by hand.

The other people on the train were cowboys and a cowgirl and they asked really good questions of the tourguide, questions we would never have known to ask.  They were a blessing.  They were coming back in the summer to help with the rodeo.

The homemade trains were fun.  The one we rode made a lot of noise, so the tourguide had to yell to be heard over it.  We made a quick dip into Colorado.  The ranch is huge.

I liked when we were feeding the bison and were stopped for a long time.  I sat by the open window, close to the bison, and was blissed out.  They used to be my favorite animal, other than human beings, but I don't know what my favorite animal is anymore.  "That was like a religious experience," I told Ming as we walked away.

So I don't know if that was the highlight of the trip.  It's 100% chance of thunderstorms this afternoon.  There's an indoor pool and Ming went swimming last night.  Maybe he'll swim again.

bison bison



Wednesday, May 25, 2016



We stopped for Thai food in Rawlins. I had some delicious pad see ew. But I got full and gave my leftovers to Ming. 

I don't want to be hypercritical of people who are not necessarily bad, just bad for me.

Wyoming is so beautiful so far. It looks new. 


Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Zion west entrance


on the road

We got off to a late start this morning. We usually sneak off in the pre-dawn dark. This morning H saw us and R saw us as we were packing the car and about to drive away. That was a party foul.

Now we're in Utah. We stopped in St George for gas. I saw a cowboy. We're not in Las Vegas anymore.

Ming said he wants to go to the Hare Krishna temple just outside Salt Lake City. 

"Why?!" I said. Last time our tourguide laughed at me for losing my breath going up the stairs. The little store had nothing for us.

We're not going to see trilobites this time. We're passing up the chance to see dinosaur trax. I feel excited and a little afraid. 

Monday, May 23, 2016

garden today

vegenation yesterday


Yesterday I survived the super-social day and ever had spoons for the punk picnic. We saw this great folk punk band perform--their name is Chencho and they are from LA.  We bought their cd and got a patch and free stickers too.


This demo lacks one of the two singers.  I think the other singer adds a lot.  I liked her very much.  So that's unfortunate.

I like how their songs have movements.  I like songs with different parts.  Seems more complex and interesting that way.  It makes them seem longer too.

The picnic had too many dogs for us.  Sometimes they played and I was afraid of them playing near me.

Ming has done a wonderful thing.  He's put a cooler and a paper grocery bag in the special place on our kitchen floor which is the place we put things for a trip before we load them in the car.  I can put some snacks I like into the paper bag and we will be one step more ready for our Wyoming trip.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

the things we do

This morning I slept in until after 7.  It was luxurious.  Now I'm making tea.

Today we have Food Not Bombs.  Beforehand we see a friend's chickens.  Then a friend is playing music at a restaurant.  Then we have a party about a time bank.  There's also the punk picnic.

Tomorrow Ming does permaculture work at the Catholic Worker house.  Then he attempts to send the newsletters at the special post office place where permit mail is sent.

Then Tuesday we leave on our trip!  Yay yay yay!

Saturday, May 21, 2016

let him go

I spent all day among people at this workshop thing about women's spirituality. But it was pretty lowkey and I still have spoons. 

We did two meditations, which was my favorite part. The first was guided and I got a message from God. It was very clear. I liked it.

Friday, May 20, 2016



We've done so much today.  A long meeting, folding and taping newsletters, Home Depot twice, the storage unit, laundry, cleaning out the car.  Emailing.  Studying Spanish and ASL.  Writing a letter.

Can I go to bed now?  It's not 7 but I'm out of spoons.

I got this Ganesha necklace.  It makes me feel good.  It's brass.

I need to get my pics off my phone if I want to be able to take pictures during our Wyoming trip.  It's full again.  I wish they made it easier.


I'm featured in this article about Las Vegas zinery.


Thursday, May 19, 2016

bad pretzel

It's time to print the new newsletter.  It's time to think about our upcoming trip to Wyoming.  It's time to love.  It's time to listen.  It's time to wash breakfast dishes.

Yesterday I sat in a Target foodcourt, one of the most miserable places I have ever sat waiting for Ming while he was at an appointment.  The florescent lights blared above me.  Everyone seemed sad.  My soft pretzel was no consolation.  In fact, it was kind of nasty.  Pretzel salt could not redeem it.

It didn't have that chewy, pretzely goodness.  It was more like pathetic bread.

I read some mail, wrote a letter to my friend in Manchester, and read my book about Wyoming.  It starts with an overview then Cheyenne, which is great.

I felt bad for all the people in red shirts working shit jobs for not enough pay.  For the guy working the register who had to tell person after person that the oven so broken so no pizza, no breadstix.  No churros either.

PMB wants a do over of his birthday.  We didn't celebrate because he wasn't up for it, but I guess now he is.  He wants to go to Veggie House then have a party.  I volunteered to make plain popcorn.  I asked what kind of soda pop is vegan.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

fruits we picked yesterday

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Ming the Ept

He fixed the thousand dollar printer.  Hip hip--horray!

Monday, May 16, 2016

three neat things

At Trader Joe's today we got some neat things.  Have you ever heard of pretzel bagels?  They are amazing!

Something else which was nicely surprising, bottom shelf of the "look what's new" endcap: vegan marshmallows!  Haven't tried those yet, though.

And organic strawberries that taste very nice, though it's hard to please me with strawberries that were not picked fresh that day.  I am spoiled by the strawberries of my homeland.



dessert vs desert

I bought some Pez at Winco.  They have Pez in the bulk bins, surprisingly.  I bought orange, cherry, and strawberry.  It was 24 cents.  NOT LABELED FOR INDIVIDUAL SALE the wrapper tells me.  The strawberry is very bright.

This morning we went to the goddess temple and sang for a long time.  Then Ming slept on the floor on cushions while I rang the bell.  I rang the bell and danced.

Then we went for a walk in the desert.  It was rattlesnake-free.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

bean trouble

My beans turned out so boring, almost too boring to eat.  What did I do wrong?  We soaked too many, so I didn't want to add carrots and increase the volume.  Maybe it's the carrot lack that is making them hella boring?  So we added carrots after all, but maybe it was too late.  Ming just put in more cayenne pepper.

Meanwhile, the rice is good.

Maybe our beans are too old.  We are using old dusty donated beans.  They're free.

last night's political prisoner letter writing

So many people showed up.  Holy crap!

Saturday, May 14, 2016

in which our hero is shocked

Ming went out to see Captain America with our community member M.  Our matriarch and her spouse went to LA for the weekend.  They'll be home Tuesday.

Our meeting this morning was okay.  I liked it up until the end when someone got angry and stormed out.

Talking about poverty, intentional poverty, and whether we're Catholic Workers.  Ming came home from the movie saying we're Catholic Workers, which shocks me.  But I guess it was the intentional poverty thing that was the only issue holding him back.

I got my special number from the community college.  But I can't figure out when I can register for fall.  Some basic facts are hard to find.  I don't think it's me--I think it's them.

Political prisoner letter writing night at Rainbow's End this evening.

Friday, May 13, 2016

quilt be gone

LM:  I hate that quilt!  I'm so glad you took it off the bed!
M:  Why do you hate it?
LM:  It's ugly, it's synthetic, when I touch it I feel all creeped out.  It's too small for the bed.  Admit it!  It makes me feel poor.
M:  Not me.
LM:  Do you think you deserve to feel poor?
M:  I like that quilt.


I've been practicing Spanish and signed up for a free online ASL course through the library.

I also registered for the local community college.  But they were supposed to send me a link and it never came through.  So I don't have my number.

I'll have to prove my residency too, which is hard since I'm not a normal human being.

H and Ming got the swamp coolers set up yesterday and we never turned them off so it's cold in here, but it's supposed to hit 99 today.

Ming is out at a permaculture workday at the Catholic Worker.  Soup this morning was vegan, made with TVP, and Ming brought some home for me.  Delicious!

Thursday, May 12, 2016

dinner win

Nice tahini-garlic sauce for our sweet potatoes.  Yum.

Lhakpa Sherpa

I read this article about an Everest climber--it's very interesting.


I don't want to climb any mountains, but I found it kind of inspiring.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016


Ming says I should blog that it's frickin' hot.  It's not even that hot yet and it's already hot.  The swamp coolers aren't functional yet.

Do you know how swamp coolers work?  There's a pad made of birch that has to stay wet.  Air is forced.  They work pretty well up to 90-something.  I think you need new birch pad every year.  So he has to get up on the roof.

What size is it?  You have to buy it in a roll.  You cut it yourself.

There was some facebook drama.  I decided not to say anything.  Jackassery occurred, but I don't want to step into the debate because my community is at stake.  Strong feelings, youngness, black & white thinking.  Name calling.  Finger pointing.  Taking things personally.  I hate facebook.


Did I tell you we picked apricots yesterday morning?  Here is our booty. 

cactus jelly

At the giftshop at Zion I bought some cactus jelly. Yesterday we tried it on toast. It was tasty but sort of bland. But I like trying new things. 

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

how much for that deity in the window

I got a spam with the subject GOD FOR SALE which made me laugh, and I showed it to Ming, who didn't laugh.

"Isn't that wild?" I asked.  "Do you think they meant gold, or god?  If they're selling God, I'll buy him!  How about you?"

"I don't know," Ming said.


Monday, May 09, 2016

trip analysis

The trip was fantastic though disorienting. Zion is so different from here. And the trip was so fast it was like whoa, where am I.

Good conversations. Good nature time. Sweet hotel. Nice to see everyone in a different context.

the guys with Mother Earth


This hotel is so fancy. Free postcards, so clean, thick soap--there were cookies in the lobby but I was too shy to take one.

This morning the guys left early for a hike on the other side of a tunnel.

I should probably do my ablutions and go outside.

Sunday, May 08, 2016

hello from Utah

We are at Zion National Park with our community members. Right now they are in the hot tub. It was raining a little. 

All this relaxing has exhausted me. 

I sat by the river with my friend M and we talked about his girlfriend, his daughter, his way of praying, his contemplative order. A mutual friend. A house hidden in a barn. 

I feel bad I never much entered the park today, but it's thrillingly beautiful here outside the park. Wrote messages on postcards. Enjoyed quiet while others hiked.

Saturday, May 07, 2016

peanut butter



I've been finding pepper hot lately. Ming is eating these crackers with black pepper in them and they are spicey to me. What's wrong with me?

My new friend donated some sox to the Worker and I'm longing for them. I guess I'm feeling deprived of nice sox.

But I'm eating the crackers anyway. Ming says his coffee is terrible because the filter was too small for the maker and some grounds got thru. 

It's permaculture workday. I'm not feeling it and lack gloves.

Friday, May 06, 2016

Benjamin Clementine

I have never heard anything quite like this.  What an obvious genius!


I needed to write down those recipes for a friend (Peacemaker Boy) and decided to blog them.  Those are the foods I make for Food Not Bombs so I have made them many times and like them.  The beans take time but are easy, otherwise.

It's going to be a cool weekend.  Then next week it's supposed to hit 99 on Friday.  Like last year I'm saying, "I'm not ready."  I guess it's time to get the swamp coolers going.

I have this tea with stevia in it, and I've decided I don't like the sweetness.  I've heard it's natural but it still tastes fake, to me.

Today's farmers market.  It's also First Friday so there's art to see.  We might go to an opening.

I want to tell you something brilliant and beautiful.  You are loved.

Thursday, May 05, 2016

beans recipe

Sort through a pound and a half of pinto beans, looking for rocks or twigs or shriveled beans.  Then rinse beans in a colander.  Then soak beans.  Start them soaking 8 or 12 hours before you want to cook them.  (If you soak them too long, they might start to ferment, which could cause problems.)

Drain the beans and put in fresh water to cover.  Put them on high and bring to a rolling boil.  Then simmer.

Add about two diced onions and several cloves minced garlic.  (Don't add salt yet or the beans won't cook right.)

Simmer, stirring occasionally, for two hours.  Then add two teaspoons salt and a can of drained carrots.  (If you'd rather use fresh carrots, you can do that--just add them at the beginning with the onions and garlic.)  You can also add a can of diced tomatoes, including the tomato juice.

Cook, partially covered with a lid, for an additional two hours or until the beans are done and falling apart, adding a little more water at times to keep the beans covered with water.  Then add a generous amount of black pepper and stir.  Taste and add more salt if needed.

Then eat with rice.  Note:  This recipe works with other kinds of beans too.

rice recipe

Saute one diced onion and a few minced cloves garlic in a little olive oil for about five minutes.  Add about four tablespoons chili powder, continuing to stir, and a teaspoon salt.  (Chili powder is a mix of spices you can buy at any grocery store.)

Add two cups of rice and stir.  Then add four an a halt cups of water.  Then add a can of drained peas.

Bring to a good, rolling boil then cover and turn the heat all the way down.  Cook for 18 minutes, if you used white rice, or 38 minutes, if you used brown.  Don't take off the lid.  Let the rice sit with the lid on for five or ten minutes.

Then eat.

Wednesday, May 04, 2016

food for the body and soul

This morning we danced a little.  We cleaned out some food we got for the Sacred Peace Walk and can't eat, so it's going to the Worker.

I like pancakes but almost never make them--it was sad to see the pancake mix go, but I know I couldn't use it up.  They were mega packages.

Last night for community dinner I made beans and rice and greens.  They went over well.  It's the same stuff I make for Food Not Bombs, so I got it down by now.  The beans are time consuming but easy.  The rice--I burn it sometimes.  Oh well.  We put it into another vessel so nobody would scrape the bottom and get the burnt stuff.

Last night we were feeling good and got along well at the table.  R read a poem I wrote about the community called "love poem."  It's about how all of us express love, our special ways.  It went over as well as the food.

Tuesday, May 03, 2016


This morning Ming had a doctor's appointment.  I sat in the car for a while then went for a walk.  Then my dad called me, surprisingly, a rare occurrence.  I was on the road so it was hard to hear him.  It was like a dream.

In my dream last night several people had black eyes.  I mean like a bruise in their eye sockets.

Ming's out getting the oil changed and buying me Mexican onions.  We bought more popcorn yesterday after his yoga class.  The worker said, "Weren't you just here?  I remember you."

Monday, May 02, 2016

food news, sadness

Bought some groceries, including organic potatoes, and made some vegan mushroom gravy to eat on the potatoes--so, so good.  Just what I wanted.

Ming's cooking up artichokes--I told him he would have to do it because I don't know how to make artichokes.  We thought he cooked them long enough, but the leaves or petals or whatever wouldn't come off easily, so he's cooking them longer.

I bought this German book about some heroes--I thought it was a slightly different edition of a book I knew, but it turns out the books are same dimensions, same color, very similar pic on the front, but two different books.  Weird.

I bought what I thought was the duplicate to give a friend for her reading pleasure, but now it wouldn't make sense.

Today I feel a sadness that vegan mushroom gravy can't cure.  Music can't either.  Some clouds outside look like Simpsons clouds, though.  That's kinda cool.


I overdid it yesterday and am suffering some consequences today.

I gave my speech and did a pretty good job.

There were no incidents where someone needed first aid.

But there was an incident where someone almost got arrested.  She was detained but let go.  "Let her go!  Let her go!" the crowd chanted.  I'm glad it didn't get ugly.

I've been binding zines with green hemp and watching a Terence McKenna movie.

Sunday, May 01, 2016

popcorn mania

Last night we went to a-cafe and found out one of the ten speakers for today's May Day march is in the hospital, so I might get to give a three minute speech about radical mental health.  I wrote my speech this morning.

Ming is doing first aid for the march.

We are popcorn maniacs now.