dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

at the mansion

For two weeks straight I've studied Spanish on duolingo, a 14 day streak!  That may be my record.

I'm alone at the mansion while Ming hikes.  I ate Life cereal.  Read some mail.

Our friend needs a place to live.  It's getting down to the wire.  All his animals make it harder.

Last night I drank peppermint tea and ate Ming's hummus with veggie chips.  Txted.  Slept.

Today I'm going to do some writing.  Dancing.  Probaby sleep more.

Monday, July 30, 2018

what Ming said

My sarcasm slashed with your sarcasm, creating a sarcasm chasm.

Sunday, July 29, 2018


We are mansion-sitting.  Some of the cactus fruits are ripening.  Just when I thought I might swim, there was a thunderstorm.  We didn't want to get struck by lightning.

Saturday, July 28, 2018


This morning Ming is helping J with food boxes.  We will be home for a while.  We're having lunch with our friend at 1:30.

My friend Devan has a new song out, "illegal."  It gave me the chills and gave me tears.  It's beautiful.

Friday, July 27, 2018

full moon

We went to a fantastic coffeehouse concert last night.  Our friend Vera's voice is perfect.  And she did sing "Citizens of the World."

Tonight there's a full moon drum circle at the park we might go to.  Ming is loading a chair for me into the van.

I slept great in the unfamiliar bed where were housesitting.  The bed is very soft.

Thursday, July 26, 2018


Ming is hiking.  Said something about Mt Charleston.  I have fans blowing on me.  Listening to mantras.  Eating veggie sausage.  Drinking delicious juice.

We are housesitting, watering the plants of some friends as they are in California at the beach.  But we didn't sleep there last night.  There are no animals.

Tonight's our friend Vera's concert.  She might sing my favorite song, "Citizens of the World."

Yesterday we bought cherries, strawberries, small avocados.  Strawberries are always a gamble, here in Las Vegas.  I prefer them in my homeland.  But sometimes you gotta try.

Wednesday, July 25, 2018


I've been lonely.  Things are in flux.  I need to care for myself.

There are tons of flies so we are going to start using the lounge door.  We did that last year too.  Ming got the broken fridge out of the lounge.

Housesitting soon.  There are no animals, only plants.  The trash to take out.  The newspaper to collect.  It's been so hot the pool water is 90 degrees.

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

garden visitor


The thread that was tied around my left wrist for Shivaratri in spring is loosening.  Ming's fell off the other day.

I'm so tired.

Cooking for community lunch today.  Some eggplant J made is thawing on the stove.  So I'm just heating that and making salad, and some garlic lover's pasta?

Photocopied the new poetry zine yesterday at a new place that is less expensive but they charged me five bucks for a cut.

I told my friend a month ago in a letter that I feel so tired sometimes it seems I'll just wink out of existence.  He txted me not to.

Monday, July 23, 2018


I layed out a new poetry zine and need to get up the strength to go do the photocopies.  First I need to take a shower though and wash my hair.  Haven't washed my hair in a long time.  Feel like cutting it all off.

My friend J realized I should thaw the eggplant before cooking it so it wouldn't need to cook as long and txted me about it.  Lucky for me because I totally forgot I was cooking it.  Yay!  So I asked her which freezer it's in.

Ming got some free ugly beige plastic shed shelving.  I just wanted to say "shed shelving."

Love to all.

Sunday, July 22, 2018

fruit bowl

Saturday, July 21, 2018

it tolls for thee

Yesterday I got in the mail this necklace I lost at our friend's house.  It had been found while dusting.  Wow, we never dust.

Lots to do.  I can't find my stamps.  Well, I think I actually have a bonus stash.

This morning we serve the hungry.  This evening is a art thing.  Then is a party.  I have a card to write in.

Last night at political prisoner letter writing night I read aloud "For Whom the Bell Tolls."  It's good.

Friday, July 20, 2018


I'm getting better.  This morning we're having a thank you note party at 10.  And there's political prisoner letter writing night at 6.  Someone needs to make the handout.  I'm tired.

Yesterday my therapist asked if there's any self-care that requires no effort that could help me.  She suggested listening to a certain type of music, for example.  I've felt weird about music lately.  Like it's work.

There's this wellness center I want to start going to when my cold is gone.  They have yoga and groups.  It's not free but might be worth it.

I need to redeclare my moratorium on buying books.  It's getting out of hand.  I only buy books that the library lacks.  But it's still a lot.

Thursday, July 19, 2018


I'm still sick with a cold and it's hot in our house despite the time of 2 am. 

I got some vegan oatmeal chocolate chip cookies from Trader Joe's yesterday.  They are good. 

My friend A and I argued over txt for about eleven hours yesterday, if you believe that.  It wasn't all ugly but there were moments.

He recommends tea, for my cold, and I am too dysfunctional to make tea.  Also it's too hot.  Our swamp cooler is not working.  The ac in the bedroom works, but I'm confined to a small space.

Something's gotta change or I will soon lose my fucking mind.  Hopefully I'll get well.

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

there's no place like home

I'm sick with Ming's cold and my nose has been running like a fountain.  He just left to serve the hungry.  He's well again.

It's really hot here, back in Vegas.

I feel sad about a few things.  Our friend was rear ended while riding his scooter.  He flew through the air.  He was taken to the hospital.  He had nothing broken but lots of abrasions and soreness.  It was a hit and run.  I feel like people are low life pieces of shit.

I'll try to rest a lot and drink lots of water.  Go through the mail.  Clean up.

Monday, July 16, 2018

everything everything everything everything

Devouring an everything bagel.  Mom's on the phone with a pharmacy.  They doubled her copay.

Today we journey south.

Yesterday Mom quizzed me Readers Digest vocabulary quizzes.  I did great.  Missed zax and enervate.  But I know them now.

So it's time to pack the van and all that.  Say goodbye to Mom.  Travel.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

luck song

Ming bought me this beautiful new mala.  And a rainbow pouch.  I asked Mom if she could make one, and she said yes, but I don't really need two.

Today we're going to an art show.  I'll sing you a good luck song.  That's what it's called.  Love it.  I would like to know a good luck song.  I should write one.

I wrote for an hour, working on a long letter.  I drew a mandala.  It looks good.

Mom showed me an old picture from 38 years ago.  She's showing me pics from her phone.  From when Dad was alive.  Gives me feels.

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Restart Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Repository ?

We will return to Las Vegas, Nevada, soon.

There is so much work that needs to be done.

For instance, there is a congressional delegation visiting Yucca Mountain Nuclear Repository today. There is little news about it, that I could find yesterday. Even the embedded reporter that is going on the tour is in the dark about when and where the tour will take place, so the journalist I am in contact with tells me.

Today I found news about it here: https://knpr.org/knpr/2018-07/hill-comes-yucca-mountain

I feel we, the antinuclear org, should be in the loop.

Otherwise, enjoy your day. Let nothing steal your joy.

Friday, July 13, 2018


Guest blogger again.

The rafter guitar now has new strings and sounds great ! It had been in the rafters of Our Hero's  parent's house for about twenty years, so we had doubts of its functionality. We took the guitar and got it professionally restrung. It was strung in front of us, for the cost of the strings alone. Wow !

We got great health news today too ! We are celebrating with meringue pie.

However, I think we are both kinda sick with respiratory infections or allergies, nasal drip and coughing.

That is all for now.

Thursday, July 12, 2018


Ming got a guitar down from the rafters.  I tuned it but the strings are rusty and it sounds like crap.  Is that normal?

I was very happy in Santa Barbara yesterday by the library.

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

hard to be

I'm in Goleta at a starbux.  Something is needling me.  The parking lot noise?  Shadows of anxiety?  I've felt paranoid sometimes lately.  It's hard to be around people.

The janitor comes by to sweep a spot and I feel like such a have.  He's a have-not.

Today I'm picking up a special box.  In the box are zines, zines I made long ago, and I will go through them again to pick poems and make an anthology.  I did this before and lost all my work.

I look forward to seeing a poem about Peter Pan called "Wendy."  And two dreams--the interplanetary time traveling librarian nuclear holocaust dream and one about God.

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Guest Blogger here

Here I am again with a bunch of blank space on the computer monitor. I am an eager writer and gladly want guest space here in front of this monitor. Actually it is a screen on a chromebook, so is it a monitor ?

So many live issues I could write about here.

We are currently at the undisclosed location. We took longer to get here this journey, this time staying overnight in Mojave, California. Small windy desert town. Most of the people I saw staying overnight at the motel were road workers working I guess on California roads.

We went to the Steampunk Cafe & Grill last night for dinner. The meal was tasty and great. I love that place.

Here is a current topic for me to write about that you may be interested in. So many journalists come to Nevada Desert Experience for help and assistance on their media projects dealing with nuclear testing and nuclear waste. Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Repository is an issue that many are exploring and working on.

Last one was from a project Off-Country.com "A multimedia oral history project examining landscapes of nuclear weapons testing and anti-nuclear activism in the American Southwest. Off Country is a feature film and multimedia project that examines three regions in the west: the former Rocky Flats Plant, the White Sands Missile Range and the Nevada Test Site. Off Country investigates the environmental consequences of the nuclear weapons industry as well as racist and classist policies inherent in the storage, mining, and production of radioactive material." 

Also an East Bay Food Not Bombs friend from long ago wanted some material for her future podcast. She will maybe be in Las Vegas in the Autumn of 2018 for her work.

Today I received another request from a journalist.

I want to help them with their projects so I make time for them. But there is only so much energy and time I can give in my volunteer position as co-Office Manager for NDE.

I feel that we (NDE) often hear how the NNSS (Nevada National Security Site [formerly the Nevada Test Site]) is a relic. So I feel my work with the journalists helps publicize how active the Test Site is.  There was a bunker busting test bombing run that happened at the NNSS that was just confirmed by the DOD. Kilopower is actively using the NNSS.

Plus it is fun.

Another thing I have been doing, I have been listening to podcasts and just heard one by Elizabeth Gilbert about being creative.

That is all for now. Thank you Prime Blogger for the opportunity. I love you !

Monday, July 09, 2018

Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram

Yesterday I read then dozed in the prayer room. 

We had coupons for del taco, a place we never go.  But we tried it out.  They were so late with our order, they gave us free strawberry lemonades and a free large fry.  So we had more food than planned.  This was three in the afternoon, our late lunch.

I started reading a new Florinda Donner book and am charmed though A scolded me to use the bookmark.  I had it open facedown on a table.

Today we journey to the undisclosed location.  We'll try to take it easy.  My feet are not too swelled.  I feel happy.

Sunday, July 08, 2018

mandala meeting last night

Saturday, July 07, 2018

to you

Last night we were sitting in A's living room and he was telling me a weird fantasy about loaning me one of his dogs--Cora, my darling.  She's the pensive one, the subtle one, the emotional one.  Escape artist.  Fraidy pants.

"Why do you put these weird fantasies in my head?" I asked or something like that.  Maybe, "You put weird fantasies in my head."

Always give your books a catchy title.  Something unpronouncable is hard to remember.  That's my advice of the morning to you.

Friday, July 06, 2018


We had a midnight fifteen minute dance party.  Deep Forest 1992.  I feel worried about my not exercising.  I don't have any energy.  Well, it doesn't matter.  Exercise isn't optional.  I need to be responsible.

Our trip to the Goddess Temple was super relaxing and nice.  I slept a lot and did some writing.  It's always a retreat.  H says it's good we were gone.  The fireworks were crazy.

Wednesday, July 04, 2018

Ahimsa Permaculture

I'm thinking of starting a Las Vegas Permaculture guild called Ahimsa Permaculture.  I'm thinking of asking to harvest the mesquite pods at Springs Preserve.  So we would need a guild.  And a ladder.

Making some breakfast rice.  Yesterday we saw a friend for a meeting.  It was okay.  I said what I needed to say.  He served us lavender lemonade and gave us eggs from his chickens and ducks.

Yesterday I drank too much coffee and lost my appetite.  It was odd.  But it came back.  We got the nicest vegan sausages at the store and that helped.

Tuesday, July 03, 2018

cabin day

Yesterday at the cabin I taught myself the chords for "The Book of Love" by the Magnetic Fields on R's guitar.  I already knew the words.  We were on Mt Charleston, up at the cabin.  No one hiked.  The birthday boy G napped on the couch.  We had a BBQ.  I ate a veggie burger, pasta salad, corn on the cob, fruits, cheesecake, and birthday cake.  Anyway, it was a great day.

Just now I had a leftover pupusa and some spinach salad with walnuts for lunch after sleeping the morning away.  Waking up every so often to txt.

Last night we were up late watching a movie with A at the tv of the house we were housesitting.  Too much shooting but nice animation.  I never swam.

Our car is in the shop.  I think it may or may not be fixed after they weld this plate beside the transmission.  God I hope so.

Monday, July 02, 2018

fruit salad, green salad

I tried to find a book about thyroid disease at the local library.  There were books in the system but not at my particular library. 

Also I was looking for mesquite flour info and couldn't find any.  I would like to harvest mesquite pods and make flour.  There are an awful lot of mesquite trees here.

Last night I had a lot of pinched nerve pain while I was trying to sleep.  It was almost a get up and cry kind of night.

But I had a long weird dream about a hotel.  Rats on a mural.  A mural that referred to another mural.

Today we go to Mt Charleston.  But we gotta do our weekly costco shop and I need to make some salads.

Sunday, July 01, 2018

let the cow live

Ming's making spaghetti for breakfast.  I'm listening to holy music.  Last night we went to Indian food then to A's place where he read to me a lot.

"Everyone's been so damaged," I told A about a character in our book.  "Sometimes it's easier to see than others."  She had been badly burned.

Also, something about a cow who doesn't give milk.  Krishna was saying to spurn the cow. 

"What if she gave you milk for years and years?  You're just supposed to let her die?" I asked.

"Maybe she never gave milk," A said.  "It's a metaphor."  You know me.