dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

fish letters 2

This is a zine of unsent letters.  I address a former friend, a current friend, and an ex-husband twice.  Big feelings in a small space.

On the phone you said you loved me. I was surprised but said it back, and all phone calls after that I lived for that moment. I lived for right before we hung up and you said the words and I said the words.

hat genius 3

Here is my new poetry zine, hat genius 3.  Join me in welcoming it in into the world.  In your heart, please join me by inwardly saying, "Welcome, little bundle of words."

the way she fell asleep in cars

the way she fell asleep in cars
and at the dinner table
might be
or just having seven kids
her secrets are buried
in a cemetery in Lompoc
where Mom goes birthdays
to put a flower
oh I miss you
unconditional love
can't remember

food news

I made my best ever pot of arroz con gandules for lunch today.  So delicious!  Only bummer about that is I do the spices differently every time, so there's no surefire way to replicate it. 

And I made the best pear crisp today I've ever made, using food bank pears and food bank oatmeal.

Today it's warm and windy.  We're listening to Beirut, and Ming's washing dishes.  We've been binding zines, and I need to scan covers and promote.  

Monday, April 29, 2013


This morning I photocopied three new zines: functionally ill 15, hat genius 3, and fish letters 2.  I had made two new zines at a time, before, but this is my first time doing three.  Kinda crazy.  Maybe I should have held back.  But when it's done, it's done.

Sunday, April 28, 2013


How silly are we to have April pumpkins on the railing outside of our apartment?  In the background you can see the wisteria vines that grow all over the neighbor's car shelter and climb over to our balcony thing.  Time to compost the pumpkins? 


There's a big yardsale outside.  Our neighbors are selling all manner of things.  All we need is shorts for Ming.  They don't have any. 

I liked this slate.  It's a chalkboard with columns.  And I liked some jewelery. Oh, there was a very pretty journal, but it's ruled.

"Why do people like lines so much?" I asked Ming.

"So their handwriting doesn't go all over the place," he said.

"Yeah, but then they can't draw pictures," I said.

"They draw pictures right over the lines," he said.

Today I need to clean my desk again to find the things I lost while cleaning my desk a few days ago. 

good morning

Yesterday we went to the Bay Area for a board meeting of Nevada Desert Experience.  Ming is on the board, and I sat in on most of the meeting.  It ran long, and we didn't get to go to the Berkeley copy shop I like where I get three cent copies.  I was sad. 

Holy shit, today's supposed to hit 97 degrees.  I'm not ready for this.  Ming cleaned the screen of the kitchen air conditioner, but we need to do the other one.

I have two new zines coming out soon, functionally ill 15 and hat genius 3.  I am excited about them--that's why I wanted to make those copies yesterday.  Now I will have to wait till tomorrow when we'll go to Elk Grove.

Friday, April 26, 2013

five branches

I'm taking it easy.  I only slept for one and a half hours, not last night but the night before.  So I'm not over scheduling myself.

The white sage in our community garden plot is blooming.  Ming cut off some of its huge stems for me.  He did the same last summer, and I kept the branches on my desk all that time.  But I replaced them with these new branches. 

We got English muffins at a food giveaway yesterday.  I was afraid they'd get stuck in our 1950s toaster.  But they aren't.

We got oatmeal but I gave that to a friend because we already have government oatmeal. 

We got baby spinach--hurray!  Already washed, in a bag.  Lunch.

We got bread.  We got whole wheat buns with HFCS in them.  Boo!  E eats veggie burgers but would not accept the buns because of the HFCS. 

Free breakfast this morning was good: egg day.  I ate with two friends I know from the women's center.  I shook hands with them.

something for Ming

Ming likes trilobites.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013


Tonight was a puja for Rama.  It was supposed to be Saturday, but Swami was in Washington DC for the dedication of a new temple.  We sang a lot at practice right before the puja.  I felt like my head was going to vibrate off.  Then I felt that way again during the actual puja.  So much singing! 

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Earth Abides Catholic Worker Farm

We went for a brief trip to a farm our friends live at.  It's called Earth Abides and is a Catholic Worker Farm.  We did a little work moving some stakes and string from one bed to another for snow peas.  My string got very tangled, but eventually it all worked out.  There was a ton of wisteria blooming and bees.  I liked sharing the meals and talking to people.  I liked meditation in the morning.  We sang "Ya Devi."  It's a good place. 

Saturday, April 20, 2013


My friend Mandy interviewed me about zines, poetry, and gardening!  Please read!


moussaka and art

I made the vegetarian moussaka, and it turned out great.  The recipe I made reminds me of lasagne but with eggplant instead of noodles.  It's good.  I was not convinced I got the bechamel sauce right, but in my google searches, the toppings I see in photos look like mine.  So maybe it is right. 

Anyway, it made a 9 x 13 casserole, so we had a lot, but we're eating it up.

Did I tell you about the postcard project I'm working on?  This morning I did two more postcards.  They are emotional letters unsent, letters I'm sending to the wrong people.  It's art. 

Friday, April 19, 2013

turoring, pickle problems, our pizza

Yesterday I tutored my friend S.  We talked about her compare and contrast essay, I read a story portion, and we talked about her cause and effect essay.  It was productive.  Then Ming and I showed her the garden out back, and she liked it.  Ming picked collard greens for her. 

In the evening we had Nepalese food with our friend A.  I ate some delicious malai kofta.  But the veg of the day was poor, and I found the dal inedible.  Ming had pickle problems though he tried.  Conversation was good.  We talked about ghosts and aliens, A's girlfriend, A's job, some shows, and individualistic vs communal societies.  I got tired.

Yesterday for lunch I made pizza.  It was mushroom and bell pepper pizza with Trader Joe's crust and tomato sauce from a can.  Soon we will make moussaka.  I picked up this cookbook at a cafe in San Luis Obispo when we were driving home from our latest trip.  It's a vegetarian moussaka, obviously.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

the good news

The neighbor's fava beans came over to our side of the string, at our community garden plot, so we ate some raw in the garden.  They were delicious!  And I'm fine.  Looks like I don't have favism.

carpet ghost

We have this piece of carpet that's been out on the balcony since we moved in last June.  It's at the top of the stairs.  When we got home from our recent trip to my parents' house, it was in front of our front door, upside down.  We thought, "That's weird," and moved it back.  Then it kept happening again and again. 

We thought it must be out next door neighbors.  We thought the carpet must have been bothering them somehow, so they kept moving it.  But what could be bothering them about it so much?

We asked.  The neighbor said he didn't know anything about the carpet, that it's been windy, that the wind must be blowing it.  But it's been windy before, and the carpet never ended up in front of our front door upside down over and over again. 

So I said maybe it's a ghost--sounds like something a ghost might do--but why would a ghost get pissed off so suddenly?  If it's not a ghost, then who's doing it?  No one else really comes upstairs.

my day

Yesterday we were in Oakland.  We were doing secret family stuff.  And then we had ice cream with Ming's kids and sister.  It was a really up and down day for me.  But triple caramel chunk is pretty good.  I liked the hugs.  I wrote a poem in the truck.  We walked in Berkeley, looking at plants, and I ate baingan bartha for dinner. 

Tuesday, April 16, 2013


We are home safe in Sacramento.  We demonstrated this afternoon.  I had the NDE sign that says Pray 4 Peace, but I was feeling vulnerable with it, so Ming and I traded signs.  He had the no torture, no drones sign.  We had a good time demonstrating--laughing and kissing. 

I'm doing this postcard project.  I'm sending out 32 postcards.  Today I did five.

Today I met with my literacy learner.  We got a lot done.  He has trouble hearing the end sounds of words.  So we practiced that.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Ming with purple plastic trowel

Mom emailed this picture to me and titled the email "Dora."  I asked her why, and she said, "That's a Dora the Explorer shovel."

musician tipping, gardening with Mom, interview, albondigas, left behind beer

Yesterday we went to the farmers market in Arroyo Grande.  My dad gave me $20.  We bought mandarins, an amaryllis, snap peas, English peas, and the best type of prunes (Muir Beauty).  We sat in the sun eating tamales and listening to the musician.  My mom gave me a dollar to give the musician, and I handed it to Ming to give the musician, who paused to say thank you during his song as Ming put the dollar in the jar.

Then we went to Avila Barn where I fed the goats carrot tops and the English peas pods.  In the car we ate the English peas, and they were large and delicious.  At the Barn we ate fresh roasted corn.  There were little black baby pigs in the pigpen.

This morning we gardened.  Mom's putting in her summer garden.  Today we planted radish seeds, squash seeds, beans, and Navajo popcorn.  Yesterday we planted tomatoes, poblanos, and strawberries.  Today we made structures for the beans to grow on.  They are Christmas lima beans, some huge purple beans, and some green beans from the store.  The Christmas lima beans and purple beans Mom got at a workshop.  She gave some to us too, so we can plant some.

I am being interviewed by a friend.  I will post a link as soon as it's up.  I worked on the interview last night and this morning, and I'm happy with the words I came up with.

Last night we made albondigas.  We made two pots--a veggie version using Trader Joe's beefless ground beef, and real turkey for Mom and Dad's.  This is a Mexican meatball soup.  It was Ming's first time having it, and it was my first time in years.  I roasted the poblanos, which smells so good.  We had a hard time keeping our veggie meatballs together.  The end result was so good, but the meat seemed too real!

I think today we'll make pumpkin empanadas.  When my brother was here, he left a beer.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

me with Mom

falls, Solvang, picking strawberries together

Yesterday Ming and I went for a walk at the park.  Then we drove to this falls where I like to meet my best friend E.  She and I walked to the falls, and it was flowing well.  The walk is beautiful, through oak and bay laurel forest.  I picked up some bay laurel from the ground and put it on my head to crown me.  We had good conversations.

Then we found Ming and went together to Solvang.  We went to this hippie grocery store that has a deli and ate delicious foods.  I had some fresh apple juice with ginger and lemon.  Then we walked around Solvang, looking at plants, not shopping at the stores.  We wanted some aebleskiver but couldn't find any.

Then we went back to the park and parted ways with E.  On the way back to my parents' house, we stopped by this organic farm for strawberries, but you could pick your own for three bucks a basket, so we picked strawberries.  It was Ming's first time, and my first time since I was 2.  It was really fun to have this authentic experience together. 

Friday, April 12, 2013

my art

Yesterday I got my taxes done.  I am so happy that they're done and that I didn't owe.  I also wrote a letter while Ming and Dad watched tv.  Two characters were playing in a ball pit, and one was saying "Bazinga" for some reason I do not understand. 

Last night I dreamt of an infoshop again.  I dreamt this genie was going around with a lamp that emitted incense smoke, and he was granting wishes.  I wanted a genie to come to me.  We were at the infoshop and saw a poster saying that visits from genies were $3.  So Ming paid the $3 and we waited for a genie to find me.  But I never got found.  So we went back and complained, and then a genie did come and find me, but he was an inferior genie.  I was thinking of what I wanted my wish to be.  The wishes were just for fun--the whole thing was just for fun.  What a great dream!

And now I leave you with an image from a collage I made in my art therapy class.  The class is now over, so we got our art to bring home.  This is probably my favorite thing I made the whole 10 weeks.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

me with bag

Here's the bag my mom made me!  It's a market bag, and it's yellow.  And it's huge.

Tuesday, April 09, 2013

bed five

This is one of my favorite of our six beds out back of our apartment complex.  Left to right, it's got some snap peas, some chard, some carrots, some onions, and some tree collards.  Then behind the bed toward the middle of the picture is our grapevine, Fig Tree.  It's got tons of spring growth on it.  Hurray!

Ming reminds me that it's also got some buckwheat, and the three fava bean plants growing right by Fig Tree.  Thanks, Ming!

demonstrating today

Here's a not very good picture of my favorite peace activist today.  Note the black fingernails! 

Sunday, April 07, 2013

end war now! ask me how!

april garden

This morning we walked four miles--two miles to our garden at the community garden, then home again.  Here's our garden as it is just today.

We dug up some oregano from that garden to plant at our garden here at home.  It was heavy!  The dirt was heavy.  But Ming carried it, mostly.  The bag's handles broke.  "Do you remember when we were kids and paper bags didn't have handles?" I asked.  Ming said yes.

Also we procured some cookies, and they were amazing, including lavender shortbread.

I want to paint Ming's nails black, and I think that'll happen today.

Our two days in Oakland were pretty good.  Yesterday we spent a couple hours with Ming's son J.  We got ice cream then dinner at Saturn Cafe.  Also we sat on some steps talking.  I spoke very little.  They like to talk about politics and current events.  I ate a vegan breakfast burrito with soyrizo--yum yum yum!

Friday, April 05, 2013


My days are spent trying to recover from the trip.  It takes me a long time.  I've been sleeping a lot. 

Buckwheat and fava beans are the new additions to our gardens, grown from seed.  The chamomile never sprouted. 

The grapevine wood someone told Ming to stick in the ground did come alive!  New growth of spring.  I was amazed. 

Today we go to Oakland to do some housecleaning for someone who's on vacation.  We're getting vegan donuts beforehand.  I ate a bunch of giveaway strawberries with breakfast. 

And it's almost time to go!  Bye for now.

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

more fun

Here's some yucca in bloom on the day we hiked in Red Rock.


Here we are over the line before anyone showed up.

And here we are crossing the line with the sheriff there.

We stopped at Mono Lake on our way home yesterday, and here's Mono Ming after he said it wasn't a very picturesque lake to be photographed with, and I differed.

promised trip pics

Us somewhere in Las Vegas with BOB (our truck, aka Bucket of Bolts).

Camp time by the roadside.

Much citrus fruits were consumed.

Here I am blogging at the Goddess Temple!

Ming, do you remember what you were trying to hear?

Peace walking.

We ate some live giving Lifesavers as we walked.


Here are more Sacred Peace Walk 2013 pictures you can look at, if you want to.  Toward the bottom of the page are some of me and Ming crossing the line on Monday.


We are home!

Mammoth Lakes

Last night we camped out near Bishop.  It was cold.  It was so windy the tent was hitting us on the heads.  The rainfly blew off, and Ming had to retie the tent.  But at some point in the night, the wind died down.

Now we're in Mammoth at this cool cafe with yarn.  The hats are beautiful.  Outside, the mountains are beautiful.  There's snow in the parking lot.  We went to Vons and bought breakfast foods and lunch foods: bagels, yogurt, crackers.

So we will be home this afternoon after stopping at Mono Lake.  Have you been there?  There are brine shrimp in the water.  It's got strange formations.

I will post pics for you when we're home!  Love to all.

Monday, April 01, 2013

surprise arrest

Well, guess where I am?  Ming and M and I are at a Starbucks in Bishop.  We decided to drive through Death Valley and Owens Valley today.  We'll camp here overnight and drive home to Sacramento tomorrow, stopping at Mono Lake on the way.

Guess what we did this morning?  We got arrested!  The workers were not ready for us.  No one was there at the line.  So we crossed the line a few times unseen for fun and took pictures of one another.

Then workers showed up, first one, then more.  We asked them if they wanted to pray with us.  They didn't answer.  So M prayed, and then we sang "Oh, Great Spirit" four or five times, holding hands.

Then we walked to the line, and a guard greeted us kindly.  "Is anyone going to get arrested today?" he asked.

"Would that be okay with you?" M asked, which makes me smile now as I type it.

The guard explained he didn't have the keys to the pens.  Anyway, Ming and I crossed, holding hands, and were directed toward a rough table which they called a bench.  We leaned against it, holding hands and talking.  Ming noticed my nose was looking red and gave me his hat.

Then the guard told us he didn't have the right citations with him and he'd have to drive back to the office for them.  He apologized for the delay, which makes me smile too.

So we waited, and then he wrote our tickets.  I used my Shoshone land entry permit as my ID, nice touch.

That was morning--now it's night, and we need to go to our campsite and go to bed.  Sweet dreams!