dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Monday, April 30, 2018

some funny stuff has been happening lately

Yesterday we were about to leave home to pick up A from work.  A little child was in the driveway playing on her razor scooter.

"Hi!" she said.

"Hi!" I said.

"Do you have a dad?" she asked.

I thought about it for a second.  "No!" I said.  "He's dead!"  She looked at me.  "Do you have a dad?" I asked her.

"Yeah!" she said.  "But he's dead too!"

I looked at her.  "Sorry!" I said.


Ming was turning left at an intersection when he drifted into the other left turn lane.  I screamed.  He almost hit another car.

Suddenly, lights and a siren went on behind us.  We pulled over and the cop talked to Ming, who rolled his window down.

"You know what lane to go into, right?" he asked.

Ming tried to explain that he just made a mistake about which lane was his.

"Get outta here," the cop said.

"Thank you," Ming said, and we drove off.


A needed to pick up a package at the post office.  He handed the paper to the worker and we stood there talking as the worker went into the back and looked for the package.

A was looking at the different rubber stamps the workers have.  "Do not bend," he read.

"Spoiled!" I read.  "That's the stamp for me!" I said.  Sometimes I feel so blessed I'm spoiled.  We laughed.

The worker brought our package and A signed the paper and we were leaving.  "Miss?  Miss?" another worker said.

Turned out he was giving me his "spoiled" stamp.  "Clean it up and re-ink it," he said.  "Then you can stamp 'Spoiled' on your forehead."

I laughed and laughed as we walked back to the van.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

gather roses

I bought the prettiest bandana at Goodwill the other day.  It's black with red roses depicted.  So lovely.  Ming washed it for me this morning when he did laundry. 

I want to keep it even though I kind of bought it for a friend.  I think I changed my mind.

Today I have not much to do.  Last night we picked up A from work and went to Cornish Pasty.  I craved the rich mushroom soup and pavlova.  We were happy.

Then he read to me at his house.  I pet his dogs.  We enjoyed life.

I figure I better do a good job enjoying life before real summer is here.  A doesn't use his air conditioning.  I don't think I'll be able to stand his apartment.  So things will change.

Friday, April 27, 2018

today's smoothie

I made a vegan blueberry matcha smoothie this afternoon.

handful of frozen blueberries
almond milk left over from some event
squeeze of agave nectar left over from some event
matcha powder

Well, it turned out great, much better than I expected.

Garden and Medic

Guest Blogger here

Planted seeds in the garden
Also in the picture is onion, a grapevine, and two Anna apple trees

The garden 

Spent yesterday in the first of six training sessions to become a Center Advocacy Network advocate. Busy learning day.

May Day 2018 is happening in Las Vegas. The Las Vegas Street Medics will be present.

That is what has been happening.

Thursday, April 26, 2018

garlic lover's pasta

Yesterday we picked up A and stopped by Sprouts for a few foods.  I needed to buy some macaroni for the garlic lover's pasta I ended up making for dinner at his place.

I never told him the name of the dish.  It's vegan, the way I make it, with peas and pasta and vegan mayo and lotsa pepper and garlic both dried and fresh.  I added cayenne pepper this time, from A's garden, and it was so good, with salt.

I first ate the dish in Sacramento, from the co-op, but it was not vegan there, with parmesan and regular eggy mayo.

A ended up reading to me from The Farthest Shore, most of an astounding chapter that was as good as writing gets, for me--I wanted to just stare at the wall, afterward, and remember what it said. 

Ming bought me some fair trade peanut butter M&M-style candy and it's so good.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

yerba buena

Ming thinks when H weeded the garden, he pulled my yerba buena.  Our only hope is that its roots were so deep and good, it'll come back.

Today we went for vegan donuts then to the dollar store for seeds, but there were no seeds.  Ming says he asked the worker, who showed Ming bulbs then slapped his own head.

The rug that outlived its usefulness, the new fish-shaped rug--dollar store things.  Cards to color.  Cabinet hooks.  Orange fake roses.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018


the oracle said wander

I'm making community lunch, the leftover red beans from Sunday.  Adding a can of white beans to extend it.  And I'll make rice fresh.  And we have baby spinach.  Red, white, and green.

Listening to Sufjan Stevens' A Sun Came which is nourishing my soul lately.  Right now is "The Oracle Said Wander" which makes me feel good.  This is an early album and different.

Last night at A's place we read out loud.  I pet dogs.  I made dinner.  We were relaxed and happy.

Monday, April 23, 2018


1.  sliced toasted almonds
2.  those stamps that depict bioluminescent creatures
3.  Ming's cleaning up
4.  delightful smelling salts D made
5.  the last of the donated strawberry kitkat candy is gone

Sunday, April 22, 2018

hot chocolate

I'm making a pot of beans for lunch for the street medics training today.  And some quinoa, probably.  Ming made it easy for me by sorting and soaking the beans and chopping an onion.  I barely started cooking the beans and they already smell good.

Life feels pretty crazy right now.  Ming lists our stressors.  There are a good handful.

But I'll count some blessings.

1.  a pantry stocked with foods
2.  functioning car
3.  our health
4.  friendship
5.  tea

Last night at A's house we stopped by to drop something off and he made us hot chocolate.  He ground the cinnamon himself with a mortar and pestle.  I had never seen it done.  First he used the ridged end of the pestle then then smooth.

We listened to the radio.  I didn't need all those stories in my head.  I didn't need anything much new in my head.

A dog is freaking out a few houses down.  Gmorning.

Saturday, April 21, 2018

me singing


My friend recorded me singing, so here's the link if you'd like to listen.

Friday, April 20, 2018

the good work

My new friend sent me some zines.  I read a poetry one.  It's fantastic.  It's grittier than mine.  I am still getting to know her--she's one of those people who looks like a perfectly normal human but is really strangely remarkable.  I like when that happens.

I gotta get my show on the road.  Visioning meeting today--those can last and last.  It's the good work.

Thursday, April 19, 2018


Got some new rings.  They gleam.


Someone broke into our storage unit.  They made a mess and stole a few things.  Ming's upset about it.  I don't think they took anything of mine or if so just a few books maybe?  Ming went to the police station to file a report because he has to make an insurance claim.

Yesterday was our anniversary.  We went to Tecopa to the hot springs and to camp in Shoshone.  But we got kicked out of the campground, strangely.  There were too many students, 50 students.  At first they sold us an RV site but then they changed their minds saying it was too many people for their bathrooms.  True, the bathrooms were meager.

Street medic training this weekend.  I will cook.  We will have four houseguests.  Also there's a radical mental health collective meeting.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

beautiful and important

Ming is out hiking with a friend.  We have a lot to do today: get water, get groceries, go to our storage unit, send some important mail...

I joined pinterest, something I'd resisted for a long time.

I think tomorrow we're going camping.  It's our anniversary.

I still have the feeling I want to do something beautiful and important.  I wrote part of a letter, which didn't cut it.  I want to do some kind of ritual but don't know what.  Maybe I should just meditate and pray.

Monday, April 16, 2018


Feeling better today. 

Talking to R as he fixed the van's battery connection brightened my mood.  Sometimes a small thing does the trick.  And I talked to J in Freedom House for a minute.  She was eating a mango and half an avocado.  She offered me a bite of her mango.

"Do you drink coffee?" R asked. 

"Funny you should ask," I said.  "I just changed into a coffee drinker."  I explained how I want the energy.  So he gave me some coffee.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

new bumper sticker

today's protest of US bombing Syria

something beautiful

Yesterday: writing with the blackbirds, crying in the bookstore, eating some nice tomato bisque at Empty Bowl.  Life's funny.

This morning I slept in and got up to eat breakfast.  Grackles are vocalizing outside.  I poured myself too much grapejuice.

I want to do something beautiful / make something beautiful and avoid people.  Overdid it yesterday.

Saturday, April 14, 2018

good medicine

I haven't been feeling well.  Called in sick to the chopping party.  But I'll make it to Empty Bowl today.

This morning I was supposed to serve but Ming didn't wake me up until 6.  He lost track of time.  He went without me.

Last night there were only three of us at Political Prisoner Letter Writing Night, but we managed to make that work.  I wrote a lot in each card.

I've been sleeping wrong and hurting my back.  I need to walk more, which is good medicine for my back, but it's hard to make myself do that sort of thing, lately.

Something upbeat, encouraging, or positive.  I have a lot of support.  I think I'll write in my journal.

Friday, April 13, 2018

things change

Today is the chopping party for Empty Bowl.  Then tomorrow is Empty Bowl, the huge fundraiser that the Las Vegas Catholic Worker has every year.  It's in Henderson.  Ming and I volunteered for the first shift, I think.  I need to search my email.

Also today is political prisoner letter writing night.  Should be fun.  I have little energy.  I asked a friend to do the infosheet.  He said yes.

I have little energy.  I just want to sleep, but my pinched nerve pain is bothering me.  I had the worst dreams last night.  One was about a shooter.  My first remembered shooter dream, really.  We were on a boat, hundreds of us, and then the shooter was coming through...

Last night we went to sushi with a friend.  I ate veggie tempura and eggplant fries and a veggie roll.  Oh and matcha ice cream.  Everything was great.

I feel like I can't go on--then I get this super cute video my friend sent me of his cat purring and things change.

Thursday, April 12, 2018


facebook is making me feel yucky lately (again).  I'm thinking of taking a break.  But I use it to promote events.

We are home again.  Home is warm and messy.  Today there's a windstorm.  We'll be out in it for the peace vigil in an hour.

Things to do.  Thoughts to think.  Books to read and letters to write.  Foods to eat.  The stuff of life.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018


I was anxious.  Lots about death lately.  So I had Ming take my pulse.  It was high but not crazy high.  He told me to drink water.

I told him not to kick the beautiful handmade homemade books and he kicked them on accident.  I called him a dork.

There's no table in here so my water is on the suitcase.  Mom's gone for new tires.  The breeze is heaven.

Monday, April 09, 2018

Doings of today and of last week

Guest Blogger here ...

We are at the undisclosed location. Busyness and work has followed us to the Coast.

Doings of today: I received an email about whether I had competed a task of adding more email addresses that were gathered at the last Pacific Life Community gathering to the PLC listserv. I am the admin of that email list and had not, so did so while waiting for a rear brake remove and replace job on The Short Bus. We were down to 2mm on the brake pads along with warped rotors.

Two of ten wheel studs broke off, that when combined with the broken off wheel stud of last week, means I should seek redress with the Jiffy Lube that did a "free" wheel rotation with an oil change on The Short Bus.

Also in the news, I am co-teaching a Las Vegas Street Medic course in two weeks and am late night studying up on what I am going to convey to the participants. My dream of a three fold Street Medic trained training is being realized; urgent first aid for those in need at protests and demonstrations, chronic medical care for the very impoverished, and deescelation training for helping those in heightened emotional crisis.

We finally got a website lasvegasstreetmedics.org which has some relevant content, so I am happy.

Of last week: The Sacred Peace Walk went good. The Council Meeting which followed the big event went well though I got narcoleptic tired toward the end of the long meeting. No surprise there. There were five of us, and the Event Coordinator who gratefully accepted another year work contract at the conclusion of the meeting. We are working on getting an Intern and an Event Assistant, of which I am happy.

I received a certificate of completion from Project Sleep's Rising Voices of Narcolepsy writing class to effectively write about narcolepsy. It came with a tee shirt and a rubbery wrist band "You Are Not Alone".

What more can I say ? Maybe I should write about volunteering at the local Catholic Worker on Tuesday, as a regular worker for that house whom I know, was in on the Kings Bay Plowshares action.

Sunday, April 08, 2018


"It's going to be a beautiful day," Mom told me this morning.

"What kind of beautiful?" I asked. 

We spoke of wind.  Of a restaurant in Nipomo called Jocko's that we used to go to when I was a kid.  I checked their menu online, looking for something I could eat.

In the room we're staying in is a book called There Is a Carrot in My Ear.  Last visit that phrase was our oft-repeated phrase.

Mom's making muffins.  "Muffins are just cupcakes without frosting," I said.

Saturday, April 07, 2018

Morro Bay today

Note Ming's new hat Mom made for him!


From A's first day Sacred Peace Walking.  Note the ubiquitous portapotties in the background!


Quietly raining here, at the undisclosed location.

Thursday, April 05, 2018


Well, we are getting a very late start.  We wanted to be out of here by 6am.  I didn't even wake up till 7:45 or so.  "When were you going to wake me up?" I asked Ming.

Wednesday, April 04, 2018

31 today

Last night we went to our favorite pupusaria to have dinner with A when he got off work.  It's almost his birthday.  I gave him his present--a book called Birds Nobody Loves, about vultures and grackles, and a card.  The card has a mix cd in it.

A will be 31, and there's an Aimee Mann song "31 Today" that I thought it would be cool for him to listen to on his birthday, which is partly why I made the cd.

The waitress forgot to bring my rice.  But my pupusas were good.  Ming had two pupusas and a Mexican Coke.  A had three carne asada tacos, a chicken tamale, and a pupusa.  The waitress made a joke about all the food being for him.

So tomorrow we go on our trip.  Today I see my pysch nurse.  Also we do some car things.  We are trying to get our stereo fixed and something about a lug nut.

If you were here, I would play you "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" on my uke and sing it to you.  Maybe I should ask Ming to take a video so I can post it.  I never put a video on youtube.

Tuesday, April 03, 2018

April showers

I feel tired from all the things I've done.  Yesterday's board meeting--then we went to a dinner party--was long.  I got socialed out.  I slept a lot last night.

Ming went on a hike, forgetting the day's responsibilities.  I need to see my therapist at 11.  I called Ming and he says he'll be home by 10:30 to get me there.

Thursday morning early we leave for my homeland.  We will be at the undisclosed location for a week, is our plan.  It's supposed to rain there.  I want to go to the beach.  I haven't been over there since Christmas.

Monday, April 02, 2018

green and yellow

Things are still full on.  Today is the board meeting.  I feel excited we're playing a hymn for the prayer: "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing."  The meeting will be from 9 to 5 with a lunchbreak. 

I ate a popsickle for breakfast Ming gave me.  We were dropping off the big shop groceries at the Worker and Ming took a popsickle from the freezer for me, yellow.  I think it was pineapple.  Ming got lime.

Sunday, April 01, 2018

minute interview

Here's a short interview with my new friend Jade, a Sacred Peace Walker.