dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Thursday, March 31, 2011


Our vacuum cleaner stopped sucking a while ago, and our carpet needs a vacuuming pretty bad. A few days ago I asked for a working vacuum cleaner on freecycle, and this morning someone got back to me. So this evening we made the journey out to Folsom and had a great time. We drove past the historic downtown, saw some beautiful river views, saw the dam--it was getting dusky.

Also on the subject of machines, my loved mp3 player seems to have died. Sadly I lay my mp3 player to rest. First about half a year ago Erik broke the clip. Then a week or two ago, the volume button broke, so it was stuck at a particular volume. Then today it just won't turn on, and when I plug it in to charge, nothing happens. So I think it's dead, which is sad for me--it was my first mp3 player, and I loved it.

Today I also dropped my headphones. They were already missing the fluffy stuff, the fluffy black material to cushion the headphones on your ears. But when I dropped them today, I was at the park, and they landed on concrete. The left ear thing broke off, and one of the wires broke loose. So now I only get sound in my right ear.

Still I'm listening to my new Lemuria album--I put it on Erik's mp3 player. Love it! Erik's cut his hair and trimmed his beard with the electric clippers, and I got the spots he missed with scissors, shaved his neck with the electric shaver--it's like a ritual. He's in the shower to wash all the hair bits off of him. We haven't vacuumed the carpet yet.


Today it's very warm again. I wore shorts for the first time since fall. We went to the park, and there were too many bugs. Some were biting me (I think ants) but not biting Erik. So we left.

At the library I picked up four things that were waiting for me. At Whole Foods I was going to pick up ingredients for vegan drunken noodles, but they didn't have vegetarian oyster sauce. I need to go to a store with a bigger selection or else give up. They didn't have Thai basil either. I've bought that at the farmers market before, the big one under the freeway.

So we have a reprieve--we don't need to train until the 4th. Then scoring will start the 5th or 6th. I worked a few hours this morning anyway. But it's luxurious to have days off.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

very warm

Today we went to a free Music at Noon concert that included organ music, a violin, and a soprano singing. It was excellent. Some of the music was pretty standard like Bach and Mozart, but some was more challenging. I get nervous at concerts, but it was really worth it.

We went to the park too. We walked--it was very warm. Then I read bits of a book The Emperor of Maladies about cancer. Then I read a zine of freecycle stories! It was delightful. And I worked on a letter.

I think now I will work on that letter more. It's in a little booklet that I made. The pages are pale blue. Tomorrow training on a new project begins. I really wanted more time off. But work is good for our survival. This is our busy time of year.

lentil soup actualized

I got the idea for this lentil soup from the lentil patties I made.

4 cloves garlic
bay leaf
2 cups lentils
2 potatoes
2 carrots

Saute the chopped onion in olive oil until slightly browned. (I was out of olive oil so I used Earth Balance.) Add the garlic and saute another minute.

Add the washed, sorted lentils. Add water to cover them and then some. Add the bay leaf. Bring to a boil then simmer, covered, for 10 minutes.

Add the chopped potatoes and carrots. Simmer, covered, for another 15 minutes. Add about half a teaspoon of salt. Simmer another five minutes. Taste and make sure everything's soft and delicious. Serve.


This is about the simplest lentil soup but feels so wholesome and nutritious and good. If you're in the mood for something fancy, do not make this soup.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

lentil soup

SAT scoring ended. We have two days off before a new project begins. I am feeling so world-weary and beaten down. But we have the day off, and I want to spend some time outdoors.

Last night while I was sleeping I kept thinking about treacle and golden syrup. Then I was thinking about lentil soup, daydreaming about lentil soup while I was sleeping or half-asleep. Planning a lentil soup to make. It's very simple.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

vegan soy chorizo refried bean burritos

For lunch I made some pretty standard burritos with refried beans and soy chorizo, but I added onion and bell pepper, which made them much better.

small onion
half a bell pepper
half a package of soy chorizo
one and a half cans of refried beans (Rosarita and Eden)

Cut the onion and bell pepper half into pieces. Saute in olive oil until browned. Salt and put in a bowl.

In the same pot, saute the soy chorizo, browning it. Add the refried beans, stirring well. Heat the beans and soy chorizo until bubbling. Add a little cayenne.

Heat four large tortillas. Divide the bean mixture among the four tortillas. Add the onion and bell pepper mixture. Fold and serve.


Erik actually likes more cayenne than I do, so I dish my beans, add more cayenne to the pot, and then dish his beans.

If you don't like onions, then you could do bell pepper and garlic, maybe, instead.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

vegan lentil patties

Today for lunch I made some vegan lentil patties with za'atar. They turned out pretty good. Here's what I did.

one cup lentils
one cup garbanzo beans
two small cloves garlic
tbsp za'atar
olive oil
vegan mayo

Wash a potato and carrot. Peel the potato. Chop both.

Sort through a cup of lentils, discarding rocks. Bring them to a boil with some water. Reduce to a simmer and simmer for 10 minutes. Then add the potato and carrot. Add more water and return to a boil. Simmer for another 10 minutes until the lentils are done and veggies are tender.

Open a can of garbanzo beans and drain. Measure one cup into a large bowl, and save the rest. Mash the one cup thoroughly with a potato masher. Mix in two small cloves chopped garlic, a generous tablespoon of za'atar, and some salt.

Drain the lentil and veggie mixture, reserving the broth. Sprinkle some salt into the broth, drink a few drinks to determine that it's yummy, then serve it to Erik.

Add the drained lentil and veggie mixture to the garbanzo beans. Mash thoroughly all together until you find yourself with a substance that could be formed into patties. Taste to see if it needs more salt.

Form patties and fry in olive oil. Serve with ketchup and vegan mayo. You'll need to wipe out the frying pan with a paper towel after each batch.


Something I should have done was let the lentil mixture sit for a while to cool down and get thicker. That would have made frying the patties a little easier.

Anyway, I got this recipe from a vegan cookbook called Vegan Planet that I found at the library except I used one tbsp of za'atar instead of two. And I was supposed to make a coconut curry sauce to serve with them--didn't. And I was supposed to use a food processor, but I don't have one, but the potato masher worked fine.

This was a tasty treat and fun to try something different but I don't know if I'll make it again. But I think Erik would like me to. I feel like I know how to make lentil patties now and can try other seasonings.

Friday, March 25, 2011

story I told Erik about himself

Once upon a time there was a boy who loved fake meat. One night he had a dream. He dreamed he went to the land of the fake animals. He talked to them and petted them and thought they were so wonderful. So then he vowed he'd never eat fake meat again. The end.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

The First Collection

Today I bought a Lemuria album online using my very own money. (I have my very own money from doing surveys. It goes into my very own account.) I can't wait until my Lemuria cd comes! Thanks to MM for introducing me to them!


I was making spaghetti and a little boiling water from the pot splashed out and got me on my forearm. It hurt for a while, but it's fine now.

Today it was very rainy. We took four grocery bags of stuff (clothes and vhs tapes, mostly) to Goodwill. Nice to lighten our load.

Today I read a fantastic poem zine by Heidi E Cooper. It's called A Collection of Poetry + Prose + Photos. That's a non-flashy title for some flashy poems. It's got a cute drawing of a two-headed creature on the front.

I wish Zine World would have let me be the poetry zine specialist. Then I'd still be reviewing for them. But I reviewed for them a good, solid amount of time. It's okay to move on. I quit because I felt clueless about the music zines. I felt I was doing a piss poor job reviewing them. And I wish I could have said, "Give me no music zines and extra poetry zines." But they don't take special requests.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


I'm listening to all the songs on my mp3 player in alphabetical order. Actually, I skip something if I don't like it. Right now is They Might Be Giants's "Purple Toupee." But there's an awful lot of Mountain Goats on there.

It's raining today and tomorrow. And I think it's raining Friday too. And Saturday. There's a particular parking lot puddle I look at to see if it's raining right now.

SAT scoring day 6. I mean 7.

Monday, March 21, 2011


There's a Sufjan Stevens song that uses theramin, so Erik wanted to see what one looks like.


This is the Sufjan Stevens song.


Today Erik was listening to the radio and heard a choir singing "Creep" by Radiohead. He thought it was great, so he found a choir singing it on youtube for me. Anyway, it's funny to hear a choir sing the f word.

Sunday, March 20, 2011


Tomorrow's our wedding anniversary. It's been nine years, if you can believe that. Our marriage is 9, which is a good solid age. I like 9 year olds.

recipe book

I've been researching honey and bees. I found out there's such a thing as toxic honey. If a bee gathers its nectar from oleander, for example, it makes toxic honey.

When we drove home from where my parents live last time, up the 5, there are lots of orchards, and I saw bee boxes that were all different colors. Before I only saw white.

I made guacamole today that was pretty good with no effort. I just put some Trader Joe's green salsa in with mashed avocado and salt. It was a tasty snack with tortilla chips.

But Erik wants me to write down the recipes for everything I make. So, so many things I've made he remembers so fondly but I have no recollection of how I made them. So I'm starting a notebook today. I need to write down that curry I made a couple days ago. I'm already forgetting.

peel the banana, peel peel the banana

My little niece loves this song. Oh wait, I love this song.


The sound on this one's bad, but it's close to the version she does.

This one's close too. But none of the ones I saw had "Peel the avocado, peel peel the avocado."


Here's the love languages quiz! It's weirdly heteronormative, and it's assuming that you're either single or married, but maybe it can be useful anyway?


Saturday, March 19, 2011

love languages

We took a test to see what our love languages are. Mine's touch. Erik's is quality time. I was surprised by Erik's. And I thought mine would be words.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

exclamation tornado

There were weird sounds outside. I laughed. "What is that?" I asked. "Is that our neighbors?" Erik asked. "I think so," I said. Then Erik said it was an exclamation tornado. Then he changed his mind to "holler hurricane."


A couple weeks ago we bought some tempeh at the co-op. One was pretend bacon. The other was coconut curry flavor. We loved the bacon kind. We had bacon sandwiches.

And tonight I made the coconut curry kind, which we loved also. I made a dish with coconut milk, curry paste, carrots, green beans, onion, salt, and the tempeh. We had it over brown rice. Great dinner!

I'm so grateful to have food, a kitchen, enough health to cook, pots and pans, a nice sweetie to eat with, time, creativity.


I really like the new spoons I got at the thrift store. All four are large. There are two pairs. One pair is pretty conventional spoonishness. The other pair, the bowl part of each spoon is teardrop shaped.

Three of my zines were reviewed in the latest Zine World--I've gotten orders for them, from prisoners and the free. But I haven't read the reviews. Someone from ZW emailed offering to email the reviews to me but I was too scared.

Today I ate an overripe mango that was all stringy. Oops. Sorry I let you get overripe, mango.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Today we went to a baby store and lived to tell the tale. It's the day before SAT scoring begins. Erik's getting up at 5, so I need to go to bed. Night, everyone!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

39 Steps

Tonight we went to a play. Our friend A treated us for our anniversary. Thanks, A! We never would have gone if not for his treat. It was great to see something in person. And it was fun to do something different. My favorite thing was red confetti for blood. I also really liked the pretend snow.

Monday, March 14, 2011


Yesterday I bought some blackstrap molasses at the co-op, and this morning I put some in our morning oatmeal. It turned our oatmeal a dark brown. And it's pretty tasty. And it's nutritious. I'm especially looking for potassium lately because I think it'll help me with my leg cramps.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

tiny fish thoughts

Erik really likes these crackers called Wasa flat bread. They have rosemary in them. They have delicious little flakes of salt on them.

Today I talked on the phone with my best friend A. I thought it was for about two hours, but when we got off the phone, I looked, and it had been an hour and 28 minutes. It's her dad's birthday, and there was a lot of activity going on at her house. He's 62. She was making a special sweet espresso slushy drink that needed to be stirred every half hour.

Today we went to our friend P's place to return some backpacking equipment to him. I listened to them talk about backpacking stuff, and Erik told the story of his treacherous river crossing.

Just a little while ago I did a survey about smoking. I smoked for eight years and pray to god I never will again. I think the chance is nil. Anyway, I don't know who was paying for the survey--big tobacco or some anti-smoking organization--I think the latter.

I'm having trouble sustaining thoughts. My thoughts are like quick tiny fish that get away, slip through holes in the net or something.

Saturday, March 12, 2011


Today is a sad day for donuts--Whole Foods raised their price on vegan donuts from 99 cents to $1.25.

the journey

Monday I left on amtrak for my parents' house. The journey was about eight hours. Two of those hours I talked on the phone with my best friend A. I enjoyed her company. I got to my parents' house Monday night. I was sleeping in my old bedroom which has blue walls and blue carpet.

Over the course of the week I saw three good friends, a loved aunt, my brother, and my parents. We had a really good time. Some highlights were seeing S's new RV, the cheerful flowers my mom bought my aunt for her birthday, and when Erik got back from backpacking.

The whole reason I went to stay with my parents was Erik's backpacking. He went to the Big Sur area and had a fantastic time but lost his camera because of a heinous river crossing. And I counted the bruises on his arms--he has 12.

He was supposed to show up late Thursday night, and I was talking on the phone with A again in my old bedroom, staring out the window, wishing Erik would show up. It was only about 6. I saw a car that looked like our car on the road. Then I realized it was our car and that Erik was home early. "I'm going to go say hi to him!" I told A and got off the phone with her.

Yesterday morning there was a tsumani warning for the coast of California. The waves were expected to be very small, but there was still some fear and suspense. Erik and I were planning to head back to Sacramento early, but we were delayed by the tsunami predictions. We watched the news. We saw that at a beach I went to very often when I was a kid, the water receded almost to the buoys. That was pretty freaky to see.

But in the end, there was nothing. I wasn't afraid of a big wave, but I was afraid of people acting crazy as a result of fear. But when we got on the freeway, traffic seemed normal. The drove home was uneventful. We took the inland route, which is dull compared to the coastal route, but the hills are green right now.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011


My dad's three-legged pit bull
sunning herself
as I do the laundry.

Sunday, March 06, 2011


Today we were at Trader Joe's looking at dried fruit and someone dropped a jar of applesauce behind us. Glass flew and hit us on the legs.

We thrift store shopped also. I got a bag for a dollar that Erik thinks is ugly. And I got some spoons.

Saturday, March 05, 2011


Last night was a meeting of my women's religious group. It's been moved to a new place, my friend V's house. Her house is amazing. It's spacious yet warm, very clean, and the room where the shrine is now was twice as big as I expected. I was comfortable there. The shrine room is painted a beautiful yellow.

Today Erik's at the REI used gear sale. He's planning to stay for hours because they bring out new stuff as the day passes. He's got my cell phone and is going to call before he buys. So I'm stuck by the phone.

Sunny today. I've been making my oatmeal with molasses instead of brown sugar. Is molasses vegan, I'm now wondering? I know it comes from the sugar-making process, but I will have to look it up.

edit to add:

Molasses is a by-product of the sugar industry. It is made exclusively using cane sugar that has not been treated with a bone charcoal filter, because the manufacturers want to keep the brown color.


Thursday, March 03, 2011


New story from the neighbor boy--actually, this time both came to the door. A total Berenstain Bears rip off!

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Sumo fruit

Today at Whole Foods we bought a Sumo fruit. Sumo fruits are huge, bumpy, sweet, seedless mandarins. Ours was tasty and satisfying but expensive. It cost $2.27. It was fun to try something new.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

ghost story

The first sentence is correct, so it must have been the prompt.

who is this?

Erik bought another drawing from the neighbor boy. It was the same as a drawing he'd already bought.