dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Thursday, October 30, 2008


Today when I was driving home from the bookstore listening to some song off State Songs by John Linnell I was thinking how awesome it must feel to be so incredibly talented and successful.

It rained! I was so glad. We ran errands. I had to return The Veganomicon. Also, we got cat food from the pet store and pumpkins from Smart & Final.

Watching They Might Be Giants videos and chatting with my friend A. The other day Erik realized that you can listen to any song you want to using YouTube. I tried to prove him wrong. I suggested "Sat In Your Lap" by Kate Bush, one of my very favorite songs, and it was there, with the real video and everything.

I have so many things I need to do. I'm terribly neglecting them! I'm going to make a master list, and I predict that it will have 54 items on it.

cooking-related injury

Last night when I was making tacos I got a drop of hot oil on the back of my middle finger on my left hand. It didn't hurt that bad, but this morning when I woke up I found a blister right where the oil hit. It looks kind of like a wart. I have never had a wart. It's a curiosity.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Last weekend my mom gave me three saint medals: St Margaret, St Kevin, and St William Arnaud. St Margaret was so serious that no one saw her smile or laugh. St Kevin was so chaste that he pushed an amorous woman into a patch of nettles. And St William was butchered while praising God (can't find much about him--Wikipedia failed me). Of course I like St Margaret best.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

happy Diwali!

This weekend Erik and I had a great time with my parents. We went out to eat, had some delicious Mexican food, saw part of a World Series game. My mom and I made an apple crisp out of apples from the backyard tree. We sat in the backyard swing and just talked. We went to K-Mart looking for barrettes of the certain type I require and found the mother lode.

Then on our way home yesterday Erik and I went to Berkeley. We ate at our favorite Indian-Pak place. We got bread at Acme. I found a fabulous stationary store called Elmwood Stationers. It's my dream store. I bought notecards, a notebook of narrow-ruled pale green paper, a handful of different colored ultra fine Sharpies, and three pens "Le Pen" which are from Japan--I hadn't seen any in about 15 years and loved them as a teenager. I finally spent the birthday money that my grandma sent me.

Today Erik went jogging for the first time in about seven years. We went to McKinley Park, where I walked. Then I ran into my friend S and her dog Buddy. We talked. Then I sat at a picnic table and wrote a letter to my friend J who's in the hospital in New York.

Tonight was Kali puja. Erik attended, which is a rare treat. We walked around the grounds in the dark. I introduced him to my friend R, and they talked about teaching and John Dobson. At first, we were told not to eat any prasad because there wasn't enough--the people who come to the center all the time were asked to abstain so there would be enough food for the visitors. But after a while, we were told to come take plates--there was enough after all. So Erik got his samosa.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

on a lighter note

I love soap dispensers in public restrooms that dispense soap in the form of foam.


I'm staying with my parents for a few days, and in Sacramento there are very few "Yes on 8" signs, but here in the sticks, they're all over the place. In fact, downtown there are a few young people with "Yes on 8" signs standing on the street corner, waving their signs. Seeing those bright yellow signs is like a stab in my heart. I couldn't believe any more strongly that queers deserve to right to marry as much as anyone else. My best friend's a lesbian and desperately wants to marry and have kids. She wrote an open letter to her family members in California about it and sent it to me, and I found it moving and convincing, not that I wasn't already convinced. She's received a positive response from some cousins. I don't have time to get into arugments tonight, but I wanted to send an extra "I love you" and "I'm sorry our culture is trying to deny your civil rights" to my queer blog-reader friends.

good news

Troy Davis isn't getting executed, at least for now. http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5imGyDsBZJujx6JmkwUiBc7DPhJ0Q

Thursday, October 23, 2008

chorizo rice

I was just researching pumpkin soup recipes. This recipe for Curried Pumpkin Soup sounds really good. I would use vegan margarine instead of the butter--no prob. This one for Vegan Pumpkin Coconut Soup looks super easy--wonder if it's any good.

Anyway, today was the best mail day of recent memory. I got a surprise postcard from G in Brooklyn, a much anticipated letter from J in New York, a long longed for letter from C in Bishop, and a poetry zine from C in Kansas. Heck yeah!

Yesterday in the morning we went to McKinley Park to walk and write by the duck pond. Today we did the same. This aftrernoon I worked at the Vedanta bookstore, my first shift in three weeks because I didn't volunteer during SAT scoring. I didn't have any customers, but Swami came in to ask that I do a special project that took only a few minutes, and R came in to offer me some chocolate. I ran into M outside, and he taught me about air filters on lawnmowers, totally random lesson there but welcome.

We ate chips and guacamole then chorizo rice for dinner, which is so delicious while being so easy: cook up some white rice, and fry up half a package of soy chorizo. Put rice on two plates, and split the chorizo between the two plates. Stir well. Add hot sauce, if desired. You have made a meal for two people! I invented this dish when we became vegan and could no longer have chorizo and eggs.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

new soup, finished

This evening we made a new dish: it's a Thai corn soup. I mean, it's got coconut milk and Thai red curry paste in it, so it's Thai influenced, at least--I don't know if it's actually eaten by people in Thailand. Oh, I just asked Erik, and he said the recipe-writer just made it up. Erik found it in a book of vegan recipes that we got from the library.

Guess what? I'm done with the vocal labs calls. I tried to access the system today, and it said I had met my maximum number of calls, so I did the math and saw that they were right--I had done 12 calls. Doesn't seem like that many.

this is what love is for

Today after our walk we went to the dollar store. We got eggplants, lemons, asparagus (don't know where asparagus is still growing, but I'll take it), lightbulb tomatoes, plums, kiwi fruit, spinach.... I found some beautiful Arizona postcard books, bought one for me and one for my penpal who collects postcards in Idaho.

For breakfast I made vegan cornmeal blueberry pancakes, but we happened to have raspberries, so I used raspberries instead of blueberries, and they turned out not quite as good as usual but still very tasty. Next time I would cut the raspberries in half.

For lunch we had spinach salad, bagels with avocado and red pepper spread, and a kiwi fruit. It wasn't quite ripe enough.

I intended to go to Vedanta today to work in the library, but I don't think I'm going to make it. My desire not to go is just slightly larger than my guilt at not going.

Yesterday I got a package in the mail from my aunt I. She sent me something she got for me for my birthday: a hardbound journal for women with quotes in it. She also sent forever stamps and a lot of envelopes, some of them stamped with 38 cent stamps (left over from her daughter's wedding invitations--little envelopes for the RSVP cards). This package was a happy surprise. In her letter she thanked me for being one of her son's best correspondents. Her son's my cousin S who's in prison. Her thanks made me feel good inside. Unfortunately, I've slacked off in writing to him. He sent me a letter last month that I kind of lost and only recently found.

The dollar store we go to raised their price from 99 cents to 99.99 cents. I think we can afford it. Right now they have tons of Halloween stuff: candy upon candy, orange plastic jack-o-lantern buckets for candy, decorations. We don't get trick-or-treaters, or we would probably give them something dumb like Halloween-themed pencils. I like to carve pumpkins but don't always get to it on Halloween. I think the past few years I've been late.

We got our offers to score that November SAT. Erik said, "Happy fun time!" I already had it on the calendar.

blogging, Ipod, writers group

Yesterday's topic of the day was blogging. I still had little to say. My call partner Wendy of Arizona travels in third world countries, and we talked about that a little. She backpacks and uses Lonely Planet guides. She lives freelance and told me there are so many ways to make money off the internet. She sounds like someone who's good at making money (the opposite of me).

Yesterday we went to Best Buy and Erik bought an Ipod Shuffle. It's the first Ipod in our family-of-two. He wanted it to use while exercising. He'd wanted one for a year, so it wasn't spur-of-the-moment. It's small, blue, and has a clip.

Last night I had women's writers group. I was somewhat cranky but got some great poems out of it. We took a night walk and peered into cubicles. I don't know if the other women got anything. We were supposed to have a new person come, but she didn't. Maybe next time.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

and since my options have been whittled away

Someones in the parking lot are listening to music with thumping bass really loud, and I can't work.

Went to church this morning to be part of history (first time singing Jesus song), but P greeted me whispering that we weren't doing the Jesus song after all. She told Swami this morning that we would be singing it, and he didn't even remember giving it to her. So she will need to talk to him about it again and get permission. I was really disappointed. I should have stayed home to score back when there was morning peace and quiet.

In my never-ending quest to find stuff to put in sandwiches, today I made a tofu-based sandwich filling with kalamata olives, vegan mayo, and tarragon. It's pretty good.

The loud parking lot people are gone now. I better score.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

dinner, among other things

Today I got a call from the mother of the friend I was helping yesterday. She is so nice--I can't describe to you how nice she is. She thanked me a lot. The friend is in the hospital now and should be safe. If the hospital is doing its job, she should be safe.

Today after I got that phone call I felt like pacing, so we went for a walk, and a bee was very attracted to Erik. It crawled on his neck and kept following him as we walked down the road. It was scary. But Erik kept his wits about him and didn't bat at it like I might have. And eventually the bee figured out that Erik isn't a flower. It was big like a bumble bee but not black.

Tonight we went to dinner at Gaylord's India Restaurant, the one voted best Indian food in Sacramento. It was really good. It was so rich that I couldn't eat very much. We got malai kofta and bangan bartha and shared. It was kind of expensive, but we liked it. Oh, we also got veggie samosas. They were perfect. Pastry-wise, I think they were the best samosas I've ever had.

Choir practice was fine. Call of the day was fine. I got a nice woman in New York named Rhonda. Yesterday was a nice woman in San Jose named Sandy. Rhonda and I talked about airline security for about four minutes and then talked about other stuff the rest of the time. She and I both once lived in Santa Barbara, so we talked about that.

Today I got a zine in the mail, the new Juniper by Dan Murphy. I can't read it yet, though, because I'm not letting myself read anything until after I'm done with the Zine World reviews.

Remember how I said I would be done SAT scoring today? Well, my prompt is behind. Anxious face. So I don't know how long it will go until. Tuesday?

Meanwhile, Erik is hiking tomorrow with his friend T. They're going north to Bidwell Park probably. Tomorrow for the first time the Jesus song will be sung during worship, so I'm thinking of going for that, but on the other hand, I should stay home and score.

Friday, October 17, 2008


Today was a mess. In the morning I spent hours helping a friend with mental illness problems. I didn't get much scoring done. I was stressed and got exhausted. This evening we went for a walk, and I had no energy. I was doing so well, but now I'm having a hard time keeping it together. Project's supposed to score out tomorrow. I got my minimum hours in, and my stats are okay, so I should be fine.

I got a new flavor of soy yogurt from Whole Foods the other day: Cinnamon Bun. I tried it this morning. It had the texture and color of cold gravy. It didn't taste much better than it looked. But it's always good to try something new.

Erik's been missing a lot of papers and getting really upset and worried. We have no semblance of job security--we're hired month to month. So he's worried about getting kicked off the list. Then what would we do? He would have to go back to the grading factory. But they have less and less work to offer. They're going down.

I don't think I mentioned that the other day I got a stack of zines in the mail from Zine World to review. The responsibility weighs heavily upon me. Hopefully when the project scores out tomorrow, I'll have a renaissance.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

flat tire

Today I got a flat tire. Or it was very low--maybe not flat. I was driving around on it. At the Whole Foods parking lot, someone showed it to me. So I drove it to the tire place around the corner, and they fixed it for $15. Hope it lasts.

The topic of the day is homelessness. Again. My call partner Dwight in LA spoke quietly, and I concentrated very hard to hear him. He did most of the talking. He spoke in platitudes. He asked what I do for the living, and I had a hard time explaining it to him. He seemed very different from me.

Today was a fantastic mail day. I got a present in the mail from my friend J in Chicago. I love it. This afternoon and evening I've been writing a letter of thanks. I also got a letter and minizine and stickers and stamps from my friend K who recently moved to Portland, Oregon. She sent these things in trade for functionally ill #4.

Today I got very high praise for functionally ill #4 from someone whose opinion I hold in highest regard, and I told him I would remind myself of his words on difficult days. I told him I'd put them in my pocket. I copied and pasted our chat into a Word file so I can refer to it later. Just last night I was worrying about the lack of feedback I'd received, but now I feel better.

I got the new Zine World yesterday and read the review of functionally ill #3 that's in there. It's pretty neutral. I feel okay about it. I plan to post it to functionally ill's blog when I get the chance to type it.

Today my friend A was in town because of a doctor's appointment she had in Davis. She came by herself, and it was heavenly to be with her just the two of us. We had lunch at Subway and malts at Dairy Queen. Afterward, I felt heavy. There's a real difference between how I feel eating vegan and how I feel when I go off it.

Then A went home again, but not before giving me my birthday present: a beautiful sari. I need to learn all about saris, now. Probably I will hand wash it in the bathtub. I won't be able to put it on myself, so either Erik needs to learn how to help me, or I'll need to go to the home of a woman friend before a puja. When the time comes, I'll post pictures. The shirt that comes with didn't fit, so I need to find a tight teeshirt that will match, probably brick red.

Today our cold water for off for hours. I wasn't able to take a shower until the evening. I feel all clean now.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

the topic of the day is

The topic of the day is gas prices. My call partner Chris from Delaware was a very nice person and had a talking style similar to mine, so we got along great. I really enjoyed speaking with him, though our topic was dull. In all these calls, it's interesting to hear everyone's accent. Of course, I don't have an accent!

I saw my therapist today. I guess I'm doing very well. I'm doing a good job balancing responsibility with self-care. My work schedule is super manageable: three and a half hours in the morning, and the rest of the day free to relax and recover. This is my 11th day in a row working, though the first few days were just training and not a full three and a half hours. Project's supposed to end Sunday. I can do it.

However, this morning I was singing about death a lot: "Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head," and, "I know it's over--still I cling." When I miss a validity paper, I say, "I died." It's like a video game but more serious.


This is a video of schoolkids singing "There" by The Innocence Mission, and it made me cry this morning when I showed it to Erik. I think it's beautiful.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Troy Davis

I'm upset about Troy Davis. I really hope he doesn't get executed. I'm against the death penalty period, but this case is especially--what's the word I'm looking for. Dubious?



The topic of the day is stem cell research and cloning. I got a nice enough kind of know-it-all guy named Tom from Chicago. He told me something about getting invited by President Clinton to give a talk in Cuba. He seemed to want to impress me with this fact, and I'm seeing a trend here of strangers wanting to impress me--is this what regular people are like? I talk to so few regular people. (I mean that my friends and acquaintances are freaks in some way--mostly zinesters, you know. And poets. I think I'm putting my foot in my mouth. I'll just stop.) edit to add--I mean we're freaks in a good way.

Our views on stem cell research were the same (pro). We didn't know what cloning has to do with it--I suggested that the stem cells are cloned. He thought not. Anyway, the conversation got interesting when I asked, "How's Chicago today?" and we started talking about our cities of residence. I find the weather inordinately fascinating, as you may have noticed. He started telling me that Chicago's mayor is a totalitarian or something like that? He said the mayor had been in office this really long time, and he wished another country would come invade Chicago so they would get a new leader. He had me laughing.

Anyway, six bucks. SAT scoring is going okay. I missed two validity papers today, but that's acceptable. My stats are still stellar. Well, maybe that's an exaggeration.

I have this huge jar of sun dried tomatoes in olive oil that my parents bought me from Costco. I'm thinking I'll make pasta tonight. Unfortunately, the sun dried tomatoes are in slices, and if I want to dice them, it's messy, because of the olive oil. Listen to me complain! I am the luckiest girl in the world, and here I am complaining about getting olive oil on my hands. Please pardon me.

Monday, October 13, 2008

vocal study call

The topic of the day is celebrities. I didn't have much to say. I brought up David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson as two celebrities I've cared about, from when I was into the X-Files. My call partner Julie in Oregon (she seemed about my age, which is unusual) told me how David Duchovny was in rehab for being a sex addict--I didn't know. She said, "Do you live in the woods or something?" It was interesting how easily she could tell I'm out of touch with popular culture. She talked about some shows I hadn't heard of and some actors I hadn't heard of. I came away from the call feeling really dumb, not because of how I'm out of touch with popular culture, but because Julie talked so quickly and articulately. I felt mired in the mud. I can write fast, but I can't talk fast to save my life. Still, I like participating in this study.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

but in my heart, it was so real

The topic of the day is terrorism. I thought the question, "Is the government capable of predicting and preventing terrorism?" to be a good one, but my talk partner Cathy in Ohio was too chatty, and we never got beyond having to be at the airport two hours early. She wanted to tell me about her sister who's a writer, and how she used to teach second grade, and how she teaches church preschool now and her granddaughter is in the class. I wanted to say how UCSB is considered a party school like her school was, but I kept trying to get a word in edgewise and couldn't.

I scored three and a half hours today. I worked again on that song I'm transcribing--I finished, but I need to proofread both the words and the notes, which will take a while. I'm in the middle of writing a letter to my friend H in town who sent me that 26 page letter the other day. I'm writing back in a little booklet I made, green and yellow, bound with pink embroidery thread.

We need bagels, fruit, soymilk. So a trip to Trader Joe's is in order. We also need water, so we'll go to Whole Foods too. (I am in favor of drinking tap water, but Erik is opposed. We have seven glass gallon jugs we get water in every week or so.)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders what the part that isn't thinking isn't thinking of

I noticed that under where my computer chair goes, there's a worn spot on the carpet, like a hole. It really alarmed me because I don't know how much trouble we'll be in for that when it's time to move. So today we went to the office supply store to get one of those plastic mats to protect the carpet. It cost $25, which we think is a lot. We were prepared to pay $20.

Then we went for a walk at Howe Park. We walked until dusk. Then we came home and watched part two of the Lord Peter Wimsey / Harriet Vane mystery we have checked out from the library. It's excellent. I have no idea who did it.

Now Erik's reading news and eating tomato soup. I would read, but I'm in a not-reading phase. I should reply to some letters, but I can't be bothered. I only want to write to people who haven't written to me.

scoring, the cold, music transcription difficulties

Erik got up at 4 in the morning to start scoring essays. He did this because of the scoring outage that's planned for tonight. He wanted to try to get in his 9 hours (or however long it ends up being) before the outage starts at 4 pm. Is he a trooper or what?

As for me, I do all my scoring before 4 pm anyway, so this outage doesn't affect me. But today I have choir practice, which is a distraction. And I'm getting a late start this morning.

It's 58 degrees in the apartment again this morning (14 C), and we stubbornly refuse to use the heater this early in the year. It's supposed to be in the 80s again (26 C) starting Monday.

Last night I worked on a choir project I have going. There's a Buddha song that's been handwritten, and my job is it put it into this computer program so it will look non-handwritten (and also to eliminate the bass line, which we're not using). However, there are some problems. First problem is that there's no key signature. Any measure can have any number of notes. Strange, isn't it? I solved that one. Second problem is that the "slur" function refuses to work on some of the notes. Third problem is hard to explain. I'm writing out the soprano and alto part, so I have two sets of notes going on. In one measure, there are the two notes right on top of eachother, and one of them is a half note and one of them is a dotted half note. It won't let me have that combination. So I'm going to have to write the dot in by hand. And it looks like for that measure I'll have to write the slurs in by hand also. Fourth problem is that the program doesn't have dotted whole notes as a note choice. I solved that one by using a whole note and then a half note tied together. Actually, I'm not sure about the distinction between a slur and a tie.

Friday, October 10, 2008

my day

Today I had my second call for the vocal labs study. I got a nice woman from Pennsylvania named Diane. We talked about ways of getting the news and how things have changed, when it comes to getting the news. We also talked about how hard it was for her to get cable internet, and how DSL isn't available where she lives. The 10 minutes passed pretty easily. When the conversation stalled, she kept things going, and for that I'm grateful.

I got a zine from Japan today, from my Italian-Japanese friend G. And I got a letter from my friend H who lives in town. I wrote her a letter a month or so ago about grad school (oh yeah--that's when I proclaimed that I might like to make a grad school zine), so she replied with something 26 pages, which sounds a lot longer than it is--the pages are small, and some are very small.

This morning it was cold in here. The clock's thermometer said it was 58 in our apartment, which I think is very cold considering the fact that we were using the air conditioner just a few days ago. Anyway, the "a" key on my keyboard was malfunctioning. It was only working about a fourth of the time, so to make an "a" I had to hit the key about four times. It was bothersome, and I hope it was just the cold.

SAT scoring today was okay. I didn't miss any papers. I scored just less than three and a half hours. Erik worked all day at an in-person scoring job then came home to score some SAT--he's scoring right now. Tomorrow there's a planned outage starting at 4pm, so we get a break. It's too bad on one hand but okay on the other.

Good night!

Thursday, October 09, 2008

a mistake

Today and next Thursday I took off from the bookstore because SAT scoring started today, and I need to get more hours than ever so I can meet the minimum and not get fired. Also, working at the bookstore is stressful, and so is SAT scoring, and I'm trying to minimize stress for the sake of my well being.

So I left a note for bookstore boss about this a couple weeks ago, and it's sitting on his desk, front and center. But he didn't ask A to make a sign last night saying the bookstore would be closed today, which is weird.

Anyway, I went in to do a project that I'm working on involving an exchange of tapes and CDs in a box in the library, and Swami spotted me and asked if I was working--I said no. He asked me to put a sign on the bookstore door saying it was closed today, and he had made a sign himself and gave it to me. So I did that and finally did the CD / tape exchange involving a box in the library.

Swami didn't ask why I wasn't working--he seemed unsurprised and neutral about it. But I feel guilty that I took today and next Thursday off, like I'm just making up my reason, when the reason is true. I wish Swami hadn't seen me, because that makes it more complicated.

At any rate, Peace Water puja is tonight, and I'll get sprinkled with holy water after singing a song I don't like, Mahishasura, all 10 verses.

Today's really windy, and I got an earache from being out in it, though I was only out in it very briefly. I went to the post office to send off some zines, and I went to the library to return something that was due today and no more renewals.

SAT scoring is okay so far.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

news from my hiding place

Years ago I did a study--I participated in a study--that involved phone calls. Two strangers are paired up to talk about a certain topic, and it's recorded. The strangers talk for 10 minutes. It's to study voices. It pays six bucks per call with a bonus for completing 12 calls. Anyway, I really enjoyed doing this those years ago, back when we lived in Bishop.

I was invited to another study a few days ago, so I sent them the required info, and I got instructions. Today I had my first call. It was with a man named Dwight who sounded like he was from the south. We had a hard time keeping the conversation going. The topic was internet dating. He has been married for 35 years and has a 23 year old son. He would say something then ask, "What do you think about that?" and I found it unnerving.

I've been very much isolating myself. It's been really hard for me to be around people. Yesterday I saw my friend P, and it was even hard to be around her. We think it's stress. However, I've been communicating with people a lot online. My friend J and I chat for hours. I think I'm overdoing it, in fact. I should spend more time away from the computer. But it's on my desk. Right now I'm in the middle of putting zines into envelopes and writing the notes. So I'm at my desk anyway.

Tomorrow SAT scoring starts. I'm aiming for three hours a day. We'll see if I make it. The good thing is that they've changed the rules so that 40 hours per week is the max. Before, it was 50, so Erik would score 50. Now our lives will be a little bit saner.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

the mysterious phone call

Yesterday I copied, collated, and folded all of this first run of functionally ill #4. I started the binding and am even sending one out today, to someone I was sending another zine to already. So it's time. Copying yesterday was great--my machine didn't jam even once. I did hurt my back a little--I had to stoop in an uncomfortable way to use the paper cutter. But it only really hurt at the time, not afterward, so no damage.

Today Erik is scoring CBEST in person. I expect a call from him on his lunch break. We're running out of food--when there are no tortillas in our fridge, some serious kitchen mismanagement has occurred. The cupboard is bare. We'll go to Trader Joe's this evening, god willing.

This morning at 8:07 I got a call from someone, and it upset me. Here it is.

him: Can I speak to [my name], please?

me: Yes, you are.

him: How are you today, Ma'am?

me: Fine.

him: I'm calling today about your account with [something something] Dell Credit Card services?

me: ...

him: Are you not aware of this account?

me: No.

him: We need to verify that you haven't been the victim of fraud or identity theft. Can you verify for me the last four numbers of your social?

I am a polite person, usually, but this is where I hung up. So what was this call all about? Have you received a call like this before? What did you do? I assumed it was a scam to get people's social security numbers. Am I being paranoid? This is the second call of this type that I've received.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Durga puja day

Erik and I have started training for SAT. The first scoring session of the school year starts Thursday. So we need to be trained by then. Erik is scoring CBEST starting tomorrow, so he wants to get his training done today. But I need him to bring me to the photocopy place so I can copy functionally ill #4.

Yesterday I made a tape for my friend H who lives in Texas while Erik was at the museum with his friend T. It has lots of Innocence Mission on it. It also has a good mix of other things. I couldn't find all the CDs I wanted, but I think it reflects what I wanted to make pretty well. Hope she doesn't read my blog, but if so--hi, H! Tape coming your way soon. Here's the track list.

1. I Left the Grounds – The Innocence Mission
2. Oh Do Not Fly Away – The Innocence Mission
3. I Never Knew You From the Sun – The Innocence Mission
4. Beautiful Change – The Innocence Mission
5. Sweep Down Early – The Innocence Mission
6. Where Does the Time Go? – The Innocence Mission
7. Snow –The Innocence Mission
8. Lakes of Canada – The Innocence Mission
9. Resurrection Fern – Iron & Wine
10. Pale Green Things – The Mountain Goats
11. Get Lonely – The Mountain Goats
12. Dance Music – The Mountain Goats
13. The Good Life - Ghost Mice

1. Come On! Feel the Illinoise! – Sufjan Stevens
2. Chicago – Sufjan Stevens
3. Hope There’s Someone – Antony and the Johnsons
4. Fistful of Love – Antony and the Johnsons
5. Don’t Tell Me to Do the Math(s) – Los Campesinos!
6. My Year In Lists – Los Campesinos!
7. Ghost World – Aimee Mann
8. I Should Be Allowed to Think – They Might Be Giants
9. Love Will Tear Us Apart – Joy Division
10. Bizarre Love Triangle – New Order
11. Love Song – The Cure

Getting desperate for things to put in sandwiches. I sliced up some green olives today. We got Vegenaise the other day at Whole Foods (finally), so sandwiches are good again. I sauteed Erik some bell pepper and used that as sandwich filling for him. I have a reputation for disliking bell pepper, but there was some left over, so I had some too, and it was good. The bell pepper was very done and browned.

Yesterday I went to church but didn't stay for the social time afterward. But I ran into Swami, which was nice, so he knows I was there. I haven't been coming much lately, so it's helpful to have put in an appearance so people won't worry about me. Tonight there's a puja for Durga. I almost forgot.

Saturday, October 04, 2008


I cut two pages from functionally ill #4. And I laid it all out. It's ready for copying Monday.

alcove, bean cake, skipping Samiti

Yesterday we really went to Land Park to walk and then to Oto's. We walked around a pond twice and watched ducks and Canada geese and regular geese. We thought about going to the zoo, which is adjacent to Land Park, but it cost more than we were willing to pay. We saw a rock wall made by the WPA in 1940, and we walked in an area that was like a botanical garden but without the plant names on placards. We looked at all the beautiful plants. My favorites were probably the succulents. Then we went to an arbor and sat in an alcove. Above us was a roof made of vines. I think it might have been wisteria but not in bloom, not the right time of year.

At Oto's the most interesting thing we bought was a bean cake. It was a bun with a bread-like coating and then inside a paste made of ground beans and sugar. The texture was velvety, but the taste was too sweet for me. Erik and I shared. He was glad we tried it but doesn't want another, and I feel the same way.

Last night I skipped Samiti, and I will hear about that. I can feel myself pulling away. I'll go to choir practice today though I don't want to do that either. There's a puja Monday night, one of my favorite of the year: Durga. But I feel cold-hearted.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

the haps

Yesterday we went to a free concert at noon downtown. We intended to go to Land Park and then Oto's Japanese grocery store, but I suddenly remembered about the concert, so we went there instead, half an hour early. We loitered in the courtyard of the church where the concert was, and it was fun to look at the fountains and flowers and trees.

The concert was Baroque: recorder, harpsichord, and old-style oboe. They played lots of Telemann. It was very good. The recorder player kicked ass--she's my hero.

Then for dinner I went to pizza with my friend H. We went to the pizza place voted best in Sacramento, Zelda's. It was really dark in there. I loved it. We got a pesto pizza, and it was just about the richest food I have ever tasted.

Then we had writer's group meeting, and I was so quiet I didn't speak hardly at all, and I was the only one who didn't read after the writing exercise. I feel embarrassed at my shyness and wish it weren't so. Maybe I won't go back. I don't know if I belong.

Today I worked at the Vedanta bookstore, and it was very stressful. Swami came in with three emails he'd received (printed out), and all three he asked me to take care of. I said I would. Lots of work stuff then ensued--it would take so long to explain and would be very dry, so I will just say that I'm waiting for a phone call from my bookstore boss telling me where a very important piece of paper went, and he and I aren't on good terms, so I don't think he'll call.

Something I keep forgetting to mention is that we think the person known as "the crazy lady" moved away. There used to be about twenty spider plants outside her door, and now they're conspicuously absent. The place seems uninhabited. So we're using the stairway that passes in front of that apartment again, and it's a nice feeling to know she's gone. But very strange. Now we're the people who've been here longest: four and a fourth years.