dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Friday, March 30, 2007

why are vegetables funny?

I think because they're so humble. I was making breakfast and decided potatoes are definitely funnier than oatmeal.

Telling Erik about the Front Yard Ordinance was an easy way to make him mad. "Fascism!" he cried. I couldn't agree more.

Today when he gets home from work, we're going on a trip, so next week I'll have my truck again, with its new carburetor, and hopefully it'll pass smog, and I can get my new sticker and not have to worry about a ticket.


Thursday, March 29, 2007

girls rock

I want to see this movie really bad.


I can think of few investments more important than helping girls be the strong, creative selves they want to be.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007


This morning I ran errands then pulled weeds for an hour at Vedanta, out front, with P and M. It was fun and good company, but my energy level was / is low, so I couldn't go the usual two hours.

At Whole Foods afterwards, when I paid, the checker called me Miss. I left wondering if I look so ugly no one would marry me, or if I'm having a particularly young-looking day, if my wedding ring has lost its sparkle. Maybe I bought so little that I looked single. Or I'm of the age where married women have kids with them, so I must not be married.

Speaking of little kids, brother's girlfriend's #3 is a boy. He's due in August.

I like bringing a Trader Joe bag to Whole Foods and vice versa.

You know this building that's been having construction done upon it for two years now, at least? The huge, warehouse-like building. Well, today I saw the worker affixing big red letters to the side, and guess what it says. BINGO CENTER.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


how do you people who work full time do it?

I've been busy beyond busy. Tomorrow will be reasonable again.

Saturday, March 24, 2007


The apartment complex has been insane today. I would be tempted to wonder if it's a full moon. It's like some critical mass has been reached, and violence is the result. We just listened to someone screaming at their child over and over again, "What the fuck were you thinking?" It was scary. Earlier, a grown man was threatening to beat a teen boy for some disrespect and used the n word. The yelling lasted a long time. Maybe these two events are related.

At any rate, it's a difficult environment for scoring standardized tests. We would really, really like to move.

Friday, March 23, 2007

the trip

I went out of town with my friend P. We had many adventures, all centered around the mental hospital where P's son is living.

Now I'm home and exhausted. I've been sleeping on the floor while Erik scores essays. Now I'm going to actual bed.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

I'm off

I'm going on a trip. I'll write to you tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

famous again

My last meal is posted!


My mom's cheese enchiladas with rice and beans. Then I would get a butterscotch malt for dessert. Or some caramel cheesecake.

An alternative is Indian-Pak food from Chutney in San Francisco. I would get some benghan bartha and some paneer tikka masala. I would have it with rotis and maybe some rice and a mango lasi for dessert.

happy anniversary

Today is the five year wedding anniversary of me and Erik. In some ways, it feels like when we got married, that was a hundred years ago, we were just kids, and we're such grown-ups now. In another way, it feels like a blink of an eye.

I remember the morning so clearly. We woke up early and couldn't sleep. We went to the beach for a walk. We were wearing our wedding clothes. A stranger took a picture of us. We looked so happy, so young.

To celebrate, I'm not going to choir practice. We might go to dinner--Indian food. I'm baking a special cake. Maybe we'll watch the rest of a Mahabharata movie we started last night and bind zines.


Yesterday I did a survey about powdered drink mixes, and it made me all nostalgic for Tang. So this morning I'm researching it, and I learned that the person who invented Tang also invented Cool-Whip, Jello, and Pop Rocks. What the heck! On one hand he's my hero--on the other, my nemesis: bringing into the world amazing cultural icons that have harmed the health of millions.

I love curious people.

Yesterday I copied issue two of functionally ill. I'm very pleased with it, yet I've made so many zines lately that I don't have the energy to promote it, in the small ways I usually do, like posting about it on livejournal groups.

worker: Do you have a business?

me: Nope!

worker: What are you making?

me: It's a... independent media project.

worker: Oh.

(ten minutes later)

worker: What kind of independent media project is it?

me: It's a zine? Are you familiar with?

worker: No....

me: It's like a home-made magazine.

worker: Huh. Is it just you?

me: Yeah, but there are a lot of people who do this. We trade. It's like a community.

worker: That's cool.

me: Maybe next time, I'll bring you a finished product.

worker: Yeah, that would be neat.

me: So you could see what it is I'm doing.

worker: You should.

This worker is the daughter of the owner of the place where they let me make three cent copies. She's smart and moving to Fair Oaks soon, where chickens run wild, and I got to telling her about Judy, the chicken I had when I was little. And the duck Tortilla.

Monday, March 19, 2007

annual meeting survived

Tonight was the annual meeting at my place of worship. It was very long. Afterward, our reward was vanilla ice cream.


Sunday, March 18, 2007

mail art

Hi, Kat, if you're reading--you'll get something from me soon.

from our walk

Something I've been wanting to share for a long time.

Saturday, March 17, 2007


Unload the bison!

Garbled Noise

My friend Martyn invited me to his new group blog, and I joined. So far I've posted an intro and my latest poem, "what you need to know".

Here's Garbled Noise.

happy saint

I wrote a post about Kitty being sick, how we're not going to the Anarchist Bookfair this weekend, and everything I've been writing lately, but blogger ate it. What the heck?

Thursday, March 15, 2007


Reason #2587 for not having children.

Oh God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son."
Abe says, "Man, you must be puttin' me on."
God say, "No." Abe say, "What?"
God say, "You can do what you want, Abe, but
The next time you see me comin', you better run."
Well, Abe says, "Where do you want this killin' done?"
God says, "Out on Highway 61."

support group

Last night Erik and I went to my first ever support group. It was strange to be in a group of people where I could relate to some of them. That never happens to me. I enjoyed hearing people talk who are the same kind of crazy as me.

Strangely, it was huge. I imagined 12 people. It was more like 50. Only about 10 people did all of the talking, which was fine. I actually had two questions that I never had time to ask. I like the way relatives and friends can come, but I would like a group just for the crazies themselves too. The relatives talked a lot, taking up much of the time, while I think the whole idea of a support group is that the people who need support can talk. Not that relatives don't need support too, but their need is different.

New SAT session starts today. Erik has a plan to work ridiculous amounts to rack up overtime. I have no such plan. All I want to do is write.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

looking at a map

I found a street in Sacramento called Any Way. Serious.

bird watching

Today I went to the garden to do some gardening, and there was a hawk by the first pond, eating something. I gave it some space. An hour later when I walked by that pond again, it was still there eating, or maybe it was eating something new.

Labels: ,

Monday, March 12, 2007

something weird happened

I realized that Word was making me spell everything British. First I noticed "labour" and chalked that up to chance. Then I noticed "favourite" and knew something was up.

Then I realized that I was writing answers to interview questions from someone in England within the Word file he sent. I was relieved.

This is the second time I've been interviewed in the past couple months, and I really like it.


Great review of ELM #40 from a new zine friend. I value the intelligence. Yay.


Friday, March 09, 2007

white butterfly

, originally uploaded by ELund.

Erik took this on yesterday's Pt Reyes hike.


This afternoon I worked a shift at the Vedanta bookstore. It was very quiet. I put price tags on a bunch of incense, and the prices varied by flavor within the same brand. It was all Indian Temple Incense, but, for example, Musk costs more than Lilac. I'm thinking that the prices reflect how difficult each variety is to produce. Then I talked on the phone with Erik and my mom and read a zine to review for Zine World. I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. Zero customers.

I decided I'm going to take all my new medication starting Monday night. I'm finally ready. Seeing the nurse the other day made me feel so much safer: a nice, smart person has drop-in hours, and I can go to him if I have problems.

Labels: ,

Wednesday, March 07, 2007


No wonder my caseworker won't return my calls. This morning I tried for the fourth time, and her voicemail was different this time, a man saying she no longer works there. I just got through to the front desk and found out I don't have a caseworker anymore. But the nice front desk person told me about the form I need to fill out to change doctors. So I'm just going to go in.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

potatoes, words

I have some red potatoes we got for a dollar at the co-op clearance bin, and I tried making hash browns out of them, but they're really wet, and the hash browns never got crispy. I was unenthusiastic.

But this morning I made some baked potatoes out of them, and I couldn't be more pleased. They're magically creamy, somehow, and a heavenly treat with only butter and salt.

As for words, I wanted to tell you the only word from Urban Dictionary that has been incorporated into the Taylor-Lundgren vocabulary--I mean, the only one I learned from there that has become everyday--which is unprotected sleep.

him: Should I even set the alarm?

me: Of course! We can't have unprotected sleep now that you're working again.

He's working again, scoring at the grading factory on the project that finally broke me last year. He's sitting right next to T, and things are fine so far. We're on a new early sleep schedule, going to bed at 9:30 and getting up at 6:30 so he can sit, drink matcha, write his morning pages, and eat breakfast with a fresh morning mind.

Monday, March 05, 2007

spring is here

Today I opened the window that's right in front of my computer. It was the first time it had been opened in months. A gust of dust-wind blew towards me like in some cartoon. I guess it's spring. The plum tree in the courtyard is in bloom. Daffodils are being obnoxious all over the place, and the tulip trees are in bloom too.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

pressing up bravely

, originally uploaded by ELund.

This picture of flowers that Erik took on his last hike reminds me of spring in Brenda Hillman's poem "First Tractate" from Death Tractates.

Friday, March 02, 2007

playing along--10 things meme

Once you have been tagged, you are to write a blog containing 10 weird or random things about you. At the end of the blog, you are then to choose 10 other people to "tag." You must then post a comment allowing them to know that they have been tagged in your latest blog.

I have played along with memes like this before, so it's hard to think of new things, but I'll try.

1. I used to have a brick collection.

2. I like to look at color samples at the hardware store.

3. I like to suck on rocks.

4. I used to eat chalk (not anymore).

5. I learned to talk when I was really young.

6. I have to cut all the tags off my clothes or they drive me nuts.

7. I have a phenomenal memory for conversations and song lyrics.

8. I have strong feelings about plants.

9. I have a broken copy machine in my bedroom.

10. I love hyenas but don't talk about it very much.

Okay, that was sort of tough. Now I will tag...Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen. Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen. Rudolf, and Santa. I don't think any of those people read my blog, except maybe for Santa (since he has to make sure I'm good).

tule elk

Tule Elk, originally uploaded by ELund.

Erik took this yesterday at Pt Reyes. Stunning, isn't it?

Thursday, March 01, 2007

happy first day of March

Well, the year is clipping long nicely, isn't it.

Yesterday, I copied issue 40 of Erik and Laura-Marie Magazine. I think it's really good. I have a place I go for three cent copies. But it took me about two hours yesterday. I guess the machine is small. Slow. Anyway, the owner has a classic rock station on, and he was trying to fix a problem with the toner while "Pour Some Sugar on Me" was playing. I didn't think that was quite appropriate. Especially the "You got the peaches, I got the cream" part. Ha ha...ha.


A bath in the Ganges undoubtedly absolves one of all sins; but what does that avail? They say that the sins perch on the trees along the banks of the Ganges. No sooner does the man come back from the holy waters than the old sins jump on his shoulders from the trees.
--Sri Ramakrishna

statistic art

I would like to thank the maker of this art for helping us visualize big numbers.