dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

bonus three things

1.  We went to The Beat so I could ask if they were getting Sufjan Stevens' new album on November 13th.  The guy told me they would get a lot in.  I'm so there!

2.  We saw / heard someone playing bagpipes out in front of a Starbucks while we were taking a walk, the other day.  Guess what song it was.  You get one guess.  Clue: It's the archetypal bagpipes song.

3.  Last night we had dinner with E and it was fun to get the $2.99 falafel.  Then we went to Whole Foods where I bought some defatted peanutbutter.  This is a new thing, for me.  It's powdered.  I'm using it in a refrigerator oatmeal recipe that's in the fridge right now.  With chia seeds.

Pancake Circus on Halloween

Today we went to Pancake Circus.  I was creeped out by all the clownage.  But I had passed by so many times, and finally I ate there!  I told Ming as he paid the bill, "I feel like a real Sacramentan now."  I also told him how I expected it to be hipsterish or somehow tongue-in-cheek.  But it's just a diner.

And we shopped for stuff, like office supplies and chonies and organizational supplies.  We got some plastic shoeboxes, for example.  And six by nine envelopes for sending zines, and a wrist rest filled with little beads like a long beanbag. 

Tonight we're handing out dollar store candy to any Oak Park trick-or-treaters and watching Labyrinth.  Seems appropriate with David Bowie's little monsters, the drug-induced costume ball, and the biting fairies and everything.  Ming's never seen it.  It will be about my 20th time.

So happy Halloween to all you friends out there who I know and who I don't know.

Monday, October 29, 2012


Today we went to William B Pond Park at the end of the Arden to see our friend J.  I liked the river.  Then we followed her to her mom's house where she gave us two small pumpkins.  I am in so much pain and so sick of it.  I see a doctor again this week at a free clinic.  Something's got to change.

Saturday, October 27, 2012


Today's big thing (besides the bucket being stolen) is that I went swimming in the American River.  With all my clothes on.  Ming pocketed my cellphone and keys and wallet.  I didn't go very deep because there was a dense riverweed.  But I got in all the way up to my neck.  It was fun to see the world from the river, smell river smells, smile at Ming as he stood on the shore, float.


We got a bucket stolen from right outside our front door.  It was an orange Home Depot bucket.  Wtf?  We went to Trader Joe's.  It was Ming's bucket, so he was going through the stages of grief.  That's a joke.  We laughed about going through stages of grief for a bucket.  Ming got a seeded baguette. 

And today's the memorial celebration for our neighbor who died.  Family is downstairs.  We were offered potato salad, coleslaw, and pork.  We heard someone read a poem about our neighbor who died.  There are little kids running around.  We did not get dressed up.  Choir practice was canceled. 

That's my possibly-confusing blog post, and I'm sticking to it.

Friday, October 26, 2012


In Cambria there is a scarecrow festival.  They are sculptures. 

I resisted taking any photos until this tin man.

This one was called Snoopy Riding a Fixie.  But Snoopy's in the back and you can't see him in this picture.  I love fixies!

I think this is a sea monster.

I don't know if this crow was actually a scarecrow.  It was in a sculpture garden.

This scarecrow is wearing a dress and headband made of croqueted plastic bags, which impressed me a lot.

And these nuns were the star of the show: Scary Habits.  We first saw them in the dark.  They looked like nuns by the side of the road waiting for a bus.  In the dark.  With mylar balloons.

more trip pics

Phone booth at a trail head. 

Elephant seals sparring.

Elephant seals.

trip pics

This is at McKinley Park.

This is Consumes.  None of my sandhill cranes pictures really turned out.

Those two are at Bodega Head.

Here's a dudleya. 

And here are distant waves.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

home again

It's home life again.  We watered the garden.  The fish tank outside is bubbling.  Not as much mail as I thought there'd be. 

The journey yesterday was rough.  I cried on the train.  Do I always cry on the train?

Today I posted some reviews on my zine review site.  I'd abandoned it for almost a year.  But I'm doing it again.  Check it out.


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

shark attack

Today we went to Avila Beach and walked the shore.  I had never seen so few people there.  It was abandoned.  We were like, "What's going on?"  We wondered if there had been a shark attack.

And then this evening Dad was watching the news and said something about a fatal shark attack at Surf Beach near Vandenburg in Lompoc.  Yep, that's why.


With Intention: a zine about a person with narcolepsy

This is where you can buy Ming's zine about living his life with narcolepsy, edited by me.


Monday, October 22, 2012

lemon bundt cake

Today my loved aunt made us lunch of roasted tomato soup using tomatoes from her garden.  We also had cheese toast.  What a delicious meal. 

Then we went to Pismo Beach to see the monarch butterflies.  Yes, there were not a lot but some.  The docent didn't have the spotting scopes set up because it was supposed to rain.  Then we walked to the beach and took pictures.  We saw sand dollars and other shells.  We saw turkey vultures.

Then we went back to my aunt's house and baked a lemon cake.  We zested lemons for a long time.  And we put the cake in the oven for an hour.  It's a bundt cake.  We sat in my aunt's living room while the cake baked.  We drank tea and talked.  When the cake came out of the oven, we iced it.  At the end, it looked like a huge donut. 

The taste?  It was so good I said, "It's not even like cake.  It's like its own thing."  It was a glorious day.

me and Mom at the beach today

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Wallace Stevens

I'm still on a trip!  Yesterday we saw elephant seals.  We watched them for an hour and a half as they sparred, flipped sand onto themselves, moved along the sand, made weird sounds, but mostly just lay there.  I have pictures.  I think I'll wait and post a ton of pictures once I'm home again.

E and I played two wonderful alphabet games.  Do you know how to play alphabet game?  You pick a category and then say items that belong in that category, one for each letter of the alphabet.  So for example, if you pick the category of foods, you and your friend can say apple, aebleskiver, beets, beans, cantaloupe, candy...  You can get a double if you say a double like Ding Dong.  Or maybe a triple for caramel cup cake.  Or maybe cupcake's one word so it's only a double.

Anyway, the two categories we did were possible behavior of cows and words we associate with Wallace Stevens.  The games were fantastic.

Last night in our San Simeon hotel room we stayed up late lying in bed talking about personal things.  It was like a sleepover.  E wore a red nightshirt.  In the night she spilled her water bottle on the nightstand.  I gave her a towel.

And now I'm back to the world of the internet and making this blog post for you and trying to score SAT. 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


I'm on a trip with my best friend E.  Monday we saw sandhill cranes near Galt.  Tuesday we saw redwoods and Bodega Head.  Today we went to Pt Reyes where we saw elk, raptors, dudleyas.  We're staying with E's sister in Sebastopol and daytripping from here.  I'm working from their computer, a few hours every day.  I like this life of nature time, sandwiches, yogurt, car conversation. 

Sunday, October 14, 2012


I'm about to do some adventuring!  That's what's preoccupying my mind.  That and work.

But yesterday we went to a beautiful ceremony for a friend.  She was taking a vow--she was becoming an associate of a religious organization.  She said, "I do."  There was music and verses from Luke, and we held our hands out to bless her.  Afterward there was a reception, where we ate a lot of food like pineapple chunks, carrot sticks, grapes, large green olives.  But not the bacon salad.  I helped pass out slices of cake.  The cake's top frosting was mediocre, but the frosting between the layers was delicious and custardy.

What else?  I packed my suitcase--I'm almost ready to go!

Friday, October 12, 2012


I keep thinking of things I want to tell you then forgetting them.  Something shimmery and supreme happened, but I can't think of what it was.

But work started.  I scored four hours yesterday, which is great.  But the first day is the easiest. 

Thursday, October 11, 2012

zombie baby area

Today we did some shredding for an organization I will not name.  It was okay because we limited it to just an hour.  Also, my machine didn't jam (but did overheat).

Yesterday we did something new--we went to a Halloween store.  Have you ever been to one?  I was most fascinated by the zombie babies.  There was a whole zombie baby area.  We were looking for crows to replace the two crows we needed to give back to Ming's friend whose house we housesat while it was being foreclosed.  We took two crows because we thought she was losing all that stuff.  Anyway, she wanted them back.

The Halloween store had three crows.  Only one was acceptable, but it was $12, and I was not interested in paying that much for a fake crow.  With real feathers.  And that shit's not vegan!

Anyway, I recommend visiting a Halloween store as a cultural lesson in Halloween.

Oh, and I wanted to say I want the job of writing scripts for talking scarecrow statues with light up eyes.  And I was daydreaming about working at a Halloween store and how hell that would be, with the screaming kids and stinky masks and nightmare material.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

gado gado

We made some gado gado the other day.  It was good, vegetables in peanut sauce.  We used tempeh.  I just ate the leftovers.  And there's an interesting wikipedia article about it.


Tuesday, October 09, 2012

announcing the LA Zine Fest

LA Zine Fest will be Sunday, Feb 17th of next year.  Hurray!


Monday, October 08, 2012

luffa penis

Here is a little penis growing on our luffa plant.  Photo by Ming.  I googled "luffa penis" and thought I'd get tons of hits to pictures such as this.  But no such luck!

ghost bike

Ming told me about ghost bikes.  They're left where someone died in a bike accident.  This one's near Sac State.



I got a brace for my right wrist.  It cost about $27.  I don't know if it's helping, but I'm probably not wearing it enough. 

This morning we went on a walk to the co-op for apples I like.  I like them sour.

Lots has happened, like phone calls and chats and emails, conflict and resolution, church and Goodwill and invitation and hugs with loved ones. 

With Intention

We've been working hard on Ming's new zine, With Intention.  Yesterday we made the cover.  Today I do the final proofreading.  It feels really good to make something wonderful that will help a lot of people.


Saturday, October 06, 2012

Wrights Lake zine reader Ming reads my zine

Wednesday, October 03, 2012


This morning I had sesame granola for breakfast, a switch from my usual bread with pretend butter and soymilk to drink.  The neighbor installed a fish tank on the balcony.  It's right outside the window where I sit when I'm at my computer, and it makes a sound like a small fountain.  I am skeptical about the fish tank.  I think the fish will freeze in the winter.  They have a heater, but who will pay the bill?  Ming is feeding them every other day.

Right now I'm on hold.  Actually, I'm not on hold.  I'm waiting for a worker to call me back because a website is malfunctioning. 

Have I told you about the entrapment of my ulnar nerve?  It hurts in the day but hurts more in the night while I try to sleep.  Some nights are worse than others.  Sometimes I wake up so many times in the night and look at the window to see if the sun is shining yet, then look at my cellphone to see what time it is, and I'm like, "You gotta be kidding me, reality."  But last night wasn't so bad.  I had tylenol, I had advil.  And I slept most the night. 

The worker called me back.  The website is better now.  My username and password are reset. 

There's actually more to the fish tank story.  It's not a regular fish tank--it's special.  There's a tray on top where we can grow plants.  Something about the fish's waste will fertilize the plants.  I think it's aquaculture.  Maybe not--I just looked up aquaculture.  I think it's aquaponics.  Yeah yeah yeah.