dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Saturday, April 30, 2016

rainy day at the mela

Thunder and lightning here again.  We went to the Indian food fest to get my mind off things.  I liked the dancing though we left when the best performances were starting.  A troupe from Austin, Texas performed.  Then it got too cold and we left.

We went to this comic book store for a vegan bake sale to support some animal sanctuary, but they were almost out of baked goods.  They were selling some homemade apple butter, which didn't interest me.  We looked at books for a little while.  I thought about buying Are You My Mother? by Alison Bechdel but decided to see if the library has it.

I've been reading again.  I like it, though I don't have a good reading spot.  I don't like reading in bed.

Friday, April 29, 2016

good deed, Thai food, entertainment by cartoon

Yesterday we picked kale at the community garden, fun in and of itself, then did the good deed of using alcohol wipes to clean a whiteboard that had writing on it that wouldn't come off--the alcohol wipes worked, and the owner of the non-profit was happy.

Then went to Thai food, and my food was the best Thai food I'd ever had, delicious red curry. I got it with tofu and no bamboo shoots.  Spiciness level 2.  And my Thai iced tea was the best I'd ever tasted too.  I couldn't get over the deliciousness.

Then at night we went to the drive in for customer appreciation day, only we were not customers, never having been there before.  We watched Kung Fu Panda 3 for free, and I was surprised to enjoy it.  The only reason I agreed to go was that I'd heard great things about the first movie from the husband of a friend, years ago.

It was weird to let myself be entertained.  I felt almost guilty to lose myself.  But some people do that every day.

Thursday, April 28, 2016


Thundery here.  I like the thunder sound with the tinkling windchimes, the windy sounds.

We watched a permaculture movie online.  It was about water--swails, dams, tanks, hugelkultur, making soil better so there's less runoff, gray water...

Then Ming was inspired to garden.  He pulled weeds, planted more dates.

"That's it?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

homemade macrobiotic


Last night we went to a permaculture meeting in Henderson.  It was good, and I liked the people a lot.

Yet meetings are too long for me.  People seem content to sit and talk for so, so long.  I can't take the anxiety and we left early.  I was done, and Ming was sleepy.

We went to Trader Joe's for kale and green onions so I can make greens with that tahini sauce.

We like to boil our tea water in a little pot, eschewing the two kettles we have.  The kettles--you can't see into them.  Who knows what's in there?

Apricots were ready in Davis but I think we have to wait a while elsewhere.

Ming didn't serve the hungry this morning.  He said he wasn't feeling it, which I can understand.

Cool morning with doves.  I like it.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

macrobiotic tahini sauce for greens

We went to this Buddhist macrobiotic restaurant in Oakland--did I tell you about it?  I liked the sauce on the steamed greens.  I think it was a tahini sauce.  So I looked up macrobiotic sauces, and I found the simplest recipe in the world.

3 tbsp tahini
1 tbsp soy sauce
1/4 cup water
two green onions (optional)

Cream tahini with soy sauce, then water.  Then green onions, if using.  Heat on medium for 3 to 4 minutes, until it's boiling.  Thin with more water if desired.


I'm happy and want to try this recipe.  I will let you know if it's good.

tea time tea time tea time tea

Yesterday we stopped by Lorenzi Park for a walk around the pond.  We saw ducks with their ducklings swimming in the water.  Cute!  Big ducklings and little fuzzy-looking ones.

Then on the shore we saw Canada Geese with their goslings.  Cute!

Last night I was writing a poem in my head and was too sleepy to get up and write it down.  I need to keep paper and pen by the bed.

We want to find new parks to walk in.  I think the parks in Las Vegas are not so good.

I was losing my ability to concentrate yesterday at the thank you note writing party.  So I quit after almost two hours.

Tea time!

Monday, April 25, 2016

the great tomato debate

Today is windy and cool.  There was rain.  Ming did laundry and hung it indoors.  We can do stuff like that in the desert.

Right now I'm taking a break from a thank you note writing party.  I wrote thank you notes to some grocery stores that donated gift cards.  I wrote thank you notes to some regular people too.  Well, they are remarkable people.  They are Sacred Peace Walkers.

Ming's eating cashews.  I'm tired of people telling me things like, "Did you know that technically, an almond isn't a nut?  It's a fruit!"  Are you tired of that?

Sunday, April 24, 2016


romanesco and tomatoes

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Chupa Chups

We made it home to Las Vegas. Ming's at the pharmacy trying to get something difficult. I dripped tomato soup on my shirt at a panera many towns ago.

Oh success!  The pharmacist will do the thing!

Also I found some Chupa Chups at a candy store in Baker. 

Friday, April 22, 2016

sky pic

Guadalupe worker

two trees in one

Labels: ,

Who wants to be a billionaire ?

Guest Blogger here today.

We had a very full trip visiting and visiting with friends and family in Sacramento and the Bay Area. We are now down again south today. This morning we had a walk around Waller Park. We then visited a Costco while our hero watched parking lot birds. We then bought nostalgic mall cookies and then saw the new unnostalgic public Library.

Lunch was at the Guadalupe Catholic Worker. Their new location was much bigger than it would seem from the outside appearance of the nondescript house. We had quesadillas while they had pizole. They being the three main Guadalupe Catholic Workers, two Dominican monks in training and a Spanish only speaking woman named Inez.

We then we went searching for strawberries and a few dinner items. In between we went to a bookstore with a boring bookstore name. Otherwise the bookstore was a good bookstore.

parking lot time

Nobody here but us blackbirds. 

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Shiva today


Tuesday, April 19, 2016


I'm at a Peet's with unsweetened herbal iced tea listening to "I Get Wild" by the Talking Heads, a song I like.  This is a live version.

Ming is with the elder of his two sons.  They went to Red Robin.  I was agonizing about whether to go with them.

"You could have ice cream," Ming told me.

"That wouldn't be good for me," I said.  "I could have a lettuce leaf."  We've been spending all our time together.  But in the night I sleep and Ming has his night life.

Our hotel room has laminate wood floors, a new thing for me.  It also has no fridge, no microwave.  And you have to pay for the wifi code.  What kind of shit is that and why did I go along with it?  No breakfast.  Small towels.

At least the bed's okay but my back's slightly f-ed today.  We went for a walk in Berkeley.  We went into a record store looking for zines.  We went to the Nolo bookstore and I saw the book about getting and keeping Social Security that helped me so much, when I got it out from the library in Sacramento.

I've been here an hour and would like an award.

Monday, April 18, 2016


I feel like lots of people are against the war, against the bomb, against drone warfare, but for some reason not many people do the things we do.  Why is that?  People feel like they can't make a difference so choose not to think about it?

We are again at Kreuzberg in San Louis. I have a decaf iced extra chocolate mocha--how divine.  Ming has a redeye, his new favorite drink.  They're playing Billie Holiday.  Ming was tempted by the sweets grab bag, yesterday's pastries.  He's also tempted by a deep fried artichoke.  He probably won't get either.

We are headed north.  Yesterday we saw my aunt in Nipomo.  I killed a cucumber bug for her.  We got some oranges from her tree.

"Don't Explain" is playing for a second time.

Then in the evening we went to Morro Bay to the home of our good friends' good friends.  They are Catholic Workers and very nice.  They made us a dinner from dumpster dived foods.  Then we had tea.  Then we went for a walk at the embarcadero.  The sun set.  We saw sea otters in the water, some with big babies.  We saw boats.  We smelled sea smells.  It was heavenly.

Then Ming drove us home in the dark.  We usually don't drive at night.  I was worried the dog would bite us when we came home.  But my parents were up still, thank gosh.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

tv overdose

Gmorning.  Mom made crepes, and they were delicious with strawberries and lemon curd.

Yesterday we went to visit an intentional community in Arroyo Grande.  It was so beautiful there.

Something on tv is playing about quittage.  I never liked Harry Potter--I read a few pages and gave up.

The dog bit Ming twice on his leg.  It was painful for everyone.

Saturday, April 16, 2016


Friday, April 15, 2016

bad dog, good goats

Guess where I am now?  Clue: I have tater tots and they cost $3.

This morning we walked at Avila Beach.  I hate dogs!!!  A dog put its nose in my hand while I was walking.  I felt bumped.  The owner did not apologize.  Dogs are allowed on the beach until 10, but I think they're supposed to be leashed...

Then we went to the Barn and looked at non-dog animals.  "Do you think those are Eli and Emily?" I asked about the emus.  I wondered if the signs were overly old.

We fed carrot butts to baby goats, which was great.  "You win the cute award," I told a baby goat.  All four were amazingly cute.

Then we sampled fudge.  Then we bought strawberries, blueberries, and a muffin.  The blueberries were very expensive, but I think they're the best I've ever tasted.  I wonder if they're local.

My tots left little oily potato bits on the plate.  Ming wanted some then ate few.  Maybe I didn't make him feel welcome enough.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

neutral deed

Guess where I am?  Santa Paula, a Starbux, drinking water while Ming sleeps in the car.  It's been an easy day so far, an easy drive.  We didn't leave Las Vegas until 5:15 am, which is late, for us.  Ming didn't wake me up until 4:15, and I said, "No! no!"  I was fighting it.

There's a guy outside with a ton of luggage and a guitar in its case.  He's talking to a young lady.  He seems like a con artist of some kind.  I think I'm skeptical of people.  Yet I can be open-hearted too.

Some young workers have sample cups and are talking to the con artist outside now.  They look incredulous.  I don't think his scam is working.  But they are smiling a little.  Maybe they'll walk away soon.

Oh, we went to McDonalds so Ming could get a soda--he ended up getting some hash browns too.  There was a monopoly game, and there were game pieces we pulled.  We won multiple things--a McGriddle. a small fry, and a quarter pounder.

Ming redeemed his McGriddle coupon.  He got it without sausage, of course.  He gave me a bite.  It was weird.  I told him how there's a fanzine about McGriddles.  Then I told him the whole story of my friendship with the guy who made the McGriddle zine as we drove away.

We gave the quarter pounder coupon to someone canning outside.  He seemed grateful, but it's McDonald's food, really.  "Did we do a good deed?" Ming wanted to know.

"We did a neutral deed.  We did a deed," I said.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

for you

Our garden is starting to look good.  The tomato plants are growing up.  The sunflowers are too.  There are carrots coming up.  But I was surprised the romanescos came up, for some reason.  I hope we get some beautiful romanescos from them.

Yesterday afternoon Ming took someone to the doctor for a procedure and it was time-consuming.  Then was community dinner.  I slept and woke up right before community dinner, out of it.  I'm afraid I seemed crazier than usual.

Tomorrow we go on a journey to California.  I'm excited about it--excited to see friends old and new.  Excited to see family.  We're going to meet some people in Morro Bay who are friends with our good friends.  They invited us over to dinner.  Supper, actually, which I think is the same thing?

Last night my cough turned off and I got to sleep through the night, which was nice.  This morning I had tea and instant oatmeal--the instant oatmeal left over from an event.  Ming is out serving the hungry and will be home soon.

Here's a romanesco pic for you!

Tuesday, April 12, 2016


not good at art openings

I feel sad about things broken that can never be fixed, the permanence of death, etc.  I was listening to Sufjan Stevens, a song called "Borderline," the other day, and it made me cry and cry.

We went to this art opening.  It's about a book called Doom Towns and features the Nevada Test Site a lot.  It's a graphic history.  I like graphic memoirs and graphic novels.  The art was up on the walls, and the historian who wrote the text, I guess, was there.  But the text was missing, on the walls.  It was art only.

"Are you okay?  Do you need some water or something?" a lady asked me as I stood awkwardly outside, overwhelmed by the crowds.

I told her I thought Ming was getting me something to drink.

"How do you know Andy?" she asked.  Andy was the historian.

I explained how I know P and she knows Andy and how I help run Nevada Desert Experience.  Turns out she's a teacher at UNLV and had a student write a paper about Nevada Desert Experience the semester before.

I looked through the window wall at Ming in there talking to Andy.  I wondered if he was really going to bring me something to drink.  Someone brought little kids including a big baby in a classic baby outfit.  Rich kids.  A kid shrieked.  I needed to get out of there.

Some people are good at art openings.  Some people are not.  I fall into the second category.

Monday, April 11, 2016

my prediction

We went out into the day.  We credit unioned.

Then we went to Trader Joe's, but I wanted to stop by this Mediterranean place for a bite.  It's in the same shopping center.

My complaints: they didn't offer us a menu, they charged us an extra dollar for my labneh, and no olives / pickles.  The people at the next table got olives and pickles!  Wtf?

"Maybe my labneh wasn't considered an entree," I told Ming, thinking maybe that's why we didn't get the olives and pickles.  He said it was an entree.

I don't know if we'll go back.  It's pretty expensive too.  But I have some nice memories there, like the time we went with PMB.

At Trader Joe's we bought three types of tomatoes and some flowers.  They're cheerful.

This afternoon I read and napped.  I'll be well soon.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

kombucha news

This morning we're cooking rice and beans for Food Not Bombs.  Also we tried our kombucha for the first time.  It's weird.

"Is it normal to fear one's scoby?" I asked Ming.  He said yes.

It tastes kind of vinegary.  The scoby is getting big already.  Ming said the first tap wouldn't be good.

"Will our scoby have a baby? I asked Ming.  He said no, you have to divide it.  "Should we divide it and feed half to our dog?" I asked.  Ming said no.  We don't have a dog, of course.  "Should we feed it to someone else's dog?" I asked.  He thought that was funny.

I just tried the beans and they're great.  They have a delicious flavor, but we only made three pounds.  We usually make five pounds.  But it's rainy.

Saturday, April 09, 2016

baby carrots

sick still or again

This morning was pancake day.  There were a ton of volunteers at the Worker.  We did the prayer by ourselves and Ming drove us to the serving site.  I handed out napkins for a while.  I was asked to help with the condiments but sucked at that job.

Then we had a meeting.  PMB lashed out at R, and I think we were all like, "Whoa," but nobody said anything.  PMB had a bad mood.

Then we went to Gilcrease farms.  We picked carrots and beets.  The beet greens are beautiful.  We went with our friend G.

Now Ming is at Vegfest.  I couldn't bear more crowds.  Tonight's political prisoner letter writing night.  Either I relapsed or caught something new.  The end.

Friday, April 08, 2016


Today our friend KR has a court date, so Ming is going with him.  I hope the judge dismisses it.

Today it's supposed to rain.  It's stormy looking out.  I love it.

Ming and I went for a walk in the storminess.  Then we made a vegan donut run.

Today I have some time to myself.  What should I do?  Take good care of myself.

Yesterday at my mental health place they had a guardian angel tarot deck, and I was encouraged to take a card.  Mine was Four of Thought.  It told me to go to nature and meditate and that my problems would not be solved by overthinking things.  It also told me to go on a vacation and that if I had been sick, I shouldn't rush to return to normal life but that I should take it easy.  The card seemed very appropriate.

Wednesday, April 06, 2016

how the party went

Are you wishing to hear how the party went?  It went great!  However, there was very little dancing.  J stood on a chair and pretended to be a go go dancer while R stood near, ready to catch her if she fell.  It was pretty funny.  But it did seem dangerous.  "You're going to break the chair!" someone said.

Then when everyone left R stayed behind and showed us youtube videos of himself performing.  It was good.  We talked about all sorts of things.

Today I've got leftovers from lunch.  I ate two huge veggie meatballs.  They were pretty good.  I was going to cook pasta to go with them, but I got full and Ming turned off the boiling water.

Something weird happened this morning.  Ming morning cuddled me and I didn't wake up.  I slept through morning cuddle.  I don't remember that ever happening.

"Were you scared?" I asked.

Ming said he wasn't scared.

"How did you try to wake me up?" I asked.

"I kissed your shoulder, I put my head on you, and I cuddled up next to you."

"Hmm," I said.  I wonder what the hell was wrong with me.

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

you can dance if you want to

Last night when we should have been sleeping, we went to the dollar store for colorful paper plates, colorful napkins, streamers, and colorful paper cups.  I had envisioned orange, but we went for green because the only streamers they had were green.

Then we went on a complex sushi run for inari and kappa rolls.  Today we'll get more sushi and the popcorn.  But the Popcorn Girl doesn't open until 10.

Looks like B might still be here tonight.  He got out of jail last night.  I guess he went through an ordeal.  I'm not sure why, but I think it was because he had a warrant.

It's supposed to hit 90 today, and the swamp coolers aren't working yet.  Maybe no one will want to dance.

Monday, April 04, 2016

special tea

Today's our board meeting.  We have them twice a year.  So it's a special day.

Tomorrow I think we're having a party--a sushi popcorn dance party.  We got to invite people, buy streamers, etc.  If it's only us, that's fine.  I like small parties.

I wanted to wear my specialest sox, but I couldn't find them.  My yellow Frida Khalo sox.

It's a beautiful morning.  We went for a walk.  Our friend F brought over some special tea.  I boiled water right away.

Sunday, April 03, 2016

kombucha brewing

A monk is staying at our house in M's old room.  I expect him to emerge at any time and start talking to me.  He likes to be among people.

We're making kombucha, which is a process.  Yesterday I made too much sugared tea, so I put it in the fridge and am drinking some now.

I never made kombucha before, though Ming has.  I find it freaky.  There's an organism that makes it.  It's called a scoby.  So this living thing is in my kitchen in a crock.  I don't want to kill it.  Yet I am a little afraid of it.

Scoby is actually an acronym.  It stands for symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast.  But wikipedia says it's not an actual colony.  Wikipedia is crankypants about kombucha.

Conversation is happening in our kitchen about which I have almost no opinion--how to rearrange the lounge.  I have done almost no work in it and am not attached to it, but Ming's done a ton of work and is attached to what happens and how it ends up.

I hope you have good days, friends, and that people are or are not in your kitchen, depending on what you like.

Saturday, April 02, 2016

peacemaker boy


I have these five tomatoes that I don't know what to do with.  I'm afraid they're gathering dust.

It made me think about the tomato plants growing out back.  When they fruit, what will we do?  I like fresh tomato sandwiches.  With salt.

There are a lot of people around who I don't know.  They are cooking in the other houses.  H came over to use our microwave for popcorn.  He teased me for not knowing what's going on with all the people.

Am I valid?  Is being super quiet a valid way to be?  How about hanging out alone in a darkish room to avoid unknown people?  How about being more comfortable writing than speaking?

I have a friend named T.  He says people are forgetting how to interact in real time and space.  He blames technology.  But letter writing has been around for a long time.  I think I'm valid.

But sometimes it hurts when I feel like I'm being looked at as bad.

Well, I'm hungry for some lunch.  I guess I'll make a tomato sandwich.

Friday, April 01, 2016

yucca blooms

photo from the Sacred Peace Walk urban walk day