dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

palo santo

I survived the dentist.  I didn't need a new crown.  Reaffixing the old crown was a hundred bucks.  I was very pleased.

Then we went to patio Starbux and I wrote in my journal and started a letter.  Ate a cookie, drank water.

Then we went to Whole Foods.  Oh, what amazing foods they have.  I bought myself some palo santo.

The dentist was gentle.  The assistant was brutal.  "That lady is not my friend!" I told Ming afterward.  Well, what's done is done.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018


Yesterday Ming had two doctor's appointments and saw the new Star Wars movie.  Bleh. 

Then at night we had a meeting for the UU sermon we're giving on Sunday.  I was late because I was sleeping.  R woke me up with a phonecall.  Ming was late because the movie got out late.

Today's community lunch.  Then we have a 4:30 meeting to talk about deescalation trainings.

One of my crowns fell off.  I'm worried it's rotten underneath.  I see the dentist tomorrow morning.  Ask me how I feel about that!  I can't afford another crown so maybe if it's rotten underneath I'll just get it pulled?  But they say if you do that the tooth opposite drifts.

I told my friend A it's okay if I get old.  He says I've been getting younger.  He thinks it's possible to youngen.  I think getting old is valid.

Also in the news, I forgot to buy nutritional yeast at the store.  Facebook makes me feel like crap less than it used to.  Ming's cute.

Monday, January 29, 2018


Last night we went to a zine release party with our friend A then out to Mexican food.  I got a vegetarian burrito.

The zine release party was cool.  I liked the music.  Someone was playing theramin.  I like the zine.  I liked the people.  A folded origami: a jumping frog, a tiny crane, and a three dimensional star.  They were all excellent.  He put the crane in my hair and took a picture.

Afterward we went to A's house where he read me half a chapter.  He forgot to put ginger in the tea.  I pet Cora, the darling of his dogs.  Sometimes she looks like a seal.

Sunday, January 28, 2018

a joke

Yesterday Ming and I got arrested in civil disobedience at the Test Site.  We were the first to cross the line, holding hands.  It was fun.  And there's nothing like the desert silence in the pen. 

I was the only woman, so I was alone in the women's pen.  Afterward our friend said I had survived solitary, a joke.  I am not so comfortable with jokes about solitary confinement.  But I laughed anyway.

Then we went to the goddess temple.  I got to sing in the temple a little bit tho I forgot my songbook.  Maybe I should leave a copy of my two favorite songs in the car.

Then we went to pupusas with A.  Then at his place he read to me for most of a chapter and we drank tea with fresh ginger.  It was a beautiful night to end a beautiful day.

Saturday, January 27, 2018

Guest Blogger: Downwinder Day event success

Today was the Nevada Desert Experience's Downwinder Day event. It was a successful event in that attention was brought onto the downwinders of the Nevada Test Site. It was a success as there were no injuries incurred from today's event.

The small group of 17 event participants lead to the arrest of five people after committing the civil disobedience of crossing the line onto the Nevada Test Site. As is the custom and tradition, the civil disobedience committers were issued a citation to appear and were given instructions to wait for the Nye County court to initiate connection. The deputies both said they would be surprised if the court ever initiates the connection as the Nye County court system is impoverished and can't prosecute this offence. But this situation could change at any time.

Earlier this week I had been working on an informational sheet and a press release to distribute, leading to the edification of the event participants as to the issues surrounding downwinders. I am happy with the results of those labors. I was stressing about the creation of those informational documents till our hero helped in the editing. Thank you !

Our NDE Event Coordinator took some lead in today's event presentation and we had smudging preformed by a local supporter. The event went smoothly even though the special Episcopal guests, a bishop and a priest, did not arrive.

The event production of this first Downwinder Day event fell into my lap as the prime event originators each fell from the event due to car accident, over scheduling, and illness. But it had been already widely publicized. So I felt the event must be produced. I am happy I persisted.

I am happy and tired. Good night !

Friday, January 26, 2018

blessings to you on your journey

When I blog, the blogging space looks like a piece of paper, kind of, a blank piece of paper, clean.  I stare at it and think, what will I say today?  Sometimes I ask Ming what to blog, but he's not here right now--he's giving blood with our friend.

I'm trying to clean my desk.  It's a struggle.  I tried radical acceptance a while back.  I don't know how well that worked.  I get all these newsletters from Catholic Worker houses and peace orgs.  It's a shitton to read.

I read a few this morning.  People do such amazing things.  I read two newsletters from houses that do prison support.  One is specifically helping work for death penalty victims.  Wow, I take my hat off to those people.  I would burn out in about two days, overcome with sadness.

I don't have a good system for saving the few things I want to keep.  I used to keep a lot.  Now I send things on their way, to recycling, mostly, with a gentle puff of breath.  Blessings to you on your journey, paper thing.

Well, I save zines.  Fewer nowadays.  I try to pass most along to other readers.

Well, it's lunchtime.  The kitchen's relatively clean thanks to Ming's hard dishwashing work.  We don't have the dishwasher hooked up yet because we need to get the sink fixed.

Tomorrow is Downwinder's Day.  We're going out to the Test Site--I might cross the line.  I don't know how many people will be there.  We're supposed to bring our friend A who's supposed to lead a peace crane folding workshop.  But I will probably miss it, being in the pen.

Thursday, January 25, 2018

just gratitude today

1.  I have my health
2.  I have Ming's health
3.  plenty of food, air, water, shelter
4.  meaningful work
5.  useful technology

Wednesday, January 24, 2018


a wizard of earthsea

This morning Ming has a DMV appt to register the Quest.  I'm cooking lentil soup and greens for my friend T who is coming over for lunch.  In the afternoon we have a meeting.

Last night the new dishwasher was delivered.  Our friend J decided it might be a good idea, considering Ming's dishwashing issues.  So we got one.  Its box is taking up a lot of room in the kitchen.

Last night I went to bed early.  Woke up with nerve pain from my pinched nerve.  Was able to go back to sleep.

A and I have two chapters left of A Wizard of Earthsea (by LeGuin, who died two days ago).  The other day we were txting and I sent A a selfie.  "Do I look like a woman who wants to be read to?" I asked.

"You do!" he said.

Tuesday, January 23, 2018


I got really sad again yesterday afternoon, I think because I sold the Echo to the junkyard and it's gone.  Somehow cars relate to my dad, so I felt like I was saying goodbye to my dad, for the 50th time, and it gets old.  I was all griefy.

Death is a bear.

This morning Ming is hiking.  There's community lunch.  In the evening is a public comment meeting about the Air Force wanting to take more land, this time the Sheep Mountains.  Ming is going to comment.  As for me, it's not my thing, and I feel it's hopeless anyway, a sham.  Sorry.

So last night we bought the minivan and tomorrow Ming has a DMV appt to register it.  It's kind of fancy, compared to the Echo--power windows, etc.  More things to break.  Or when they break, more complicated to fix.  We brought our friend R with us.  He noticed it was out of coolant.  Otherwise looks great.

Monday, January 22, 2018


Looks like we're buying a 2007 Nissan Quest minivan tonight.

Sunday, January 21, 2018

rainbow and rainbow's shadow

I got really sad but feel better now.

Friday, January 19, 2018


Yesterday Ming rear ended someone on the freeway.  He's fine, but I think the little Echo is totaled.  I was upbeat last night, but I feel down today.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

marigold Ming grew from seed

"What should I blog?" I asked Ming.

"How you had fun at the hot springs?" Ming replied.

"Should I abandon my blog?" I then asked.

"Noooo!" he said.

The marigold Ming grew from seed finally bloomed!

Wednesday, January 17, 2018


Well, yesterday was rough for Ming--four meetings plus community lunch.  I only had one meeting. 

We're leading a worship service at the local UU church on Feb 4th.  So we need to get a sermon going.  It's about NDE and Catholic Worker.  The Sacred Peace Walk.

So one of our meetings was last night at 6:30 with the worship leaders.

And today is Wednesday which I left mostly free, and we're going to the hot springs with A.  Yay!

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

David Bowie is very disappointed in you

Sometimes A stands there with his hands on his hips while doing something such as scolding his dogs.  It reminds me of this meme which I find hilarious.

I showed A the meme last night and he didn't think it was funny.  He just started singing "You Remind Me of the Babe."

I've been up a while and it's still dark.  Almost breakfast time!

Monday, January 15, 2018

Guest Blogger

Today was a celebration. It was the The 36th Annual Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Parade of Las Vegas, Nevada. 

We won last year but our organization's name was listed as "Las Vegas Desert Experience"

We are an organization that promotes non violence and as such we highly celebrate peacemakers such as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Sunday, January 14, 2018


great title

We got a new small frying pan.  We're calling it Tink because it makes a tinking sound as it heats and cools.

Today we have a 1 pm meeting.  Then at 4:15 Ming's getting picked up to go help with a big donation.

Last night we were at A's house.  He fed us blood orange, cupcakes baked the night before, tea with lots of ginger.  He read to me.  I told him stories, like the stories of picking mandarins and planting an orange tree.

Yesterday I wrote a poem that's in six parts.  I guess I had a lot to say.  It's called "Chelsea, Marcus, and the Immortal Potatoes."

Saturday, January 13, 2018

Guest Blogger

It is the season for events for Nevada Desert Experience. On Monday January 15th is the Las Vegas Dr. Martin Luther King Jr Day Parade where we will be on a float, number 50 to be exact.

Downwinder Day is also approaching on January 27th. We will hold a vigil at the NNSS that day.

Friday, January 12, 2018

new banner

Thursday, January 11, 2018

when it rains it snows

Yesterday I failed to blog, a party foul.  Sorry about that.

In the morning we had a flat tire.  Ming got that all fixed.  Thanks, Ming!

Then we went to A's place to pick him up.  He was asleep.  So it took us more than an hour waiting for him.  We bought donuts and were patient.

Then we went to Ash Meadows.  There were dirt roads.  We visited a visitor's center.

Then we walked on this wooden boardwalk to Crystal Spring.  It was beautiful.  That's an understatement.  I didn't even try to take a picture of it.  We looked at playful pupfish.  We ate cheese sandwiches.

Then we wanted to visit other places but the road was too muddy.  We didn't want to get stuck in our little low clearance Echo.

So then we went to the Goddess Temple when the sun had just gone down.  I sang in the temple as it started to get dark.  Wind was blowing and it got very cold.  I sang my two favorite songs.  Then we just enjoyed the afterglow, clouds pink.

Then we went to A's place and he read to me half a chapter.  We talked to one of his roommates.  He's grown his hair long and it looks pretty.

Something funny happened.  My mom cleaned out her stationery collection and gave me all kinds of cards and paper.  Then my friend J did the same.  Yesterday I got a package in the mail: my friend HW set me a bunch of stationery too.  Holy crap.  When it rains it snows.

Tuesday, January 09, 2018

vibration offering

My two favorite songs.

Monday, January 08, 2018

on the moon

Last night we were at A's place again till almost midnight.  He read to me.  We are getting through The Others, which I love, though there's some difficult violence.  But it's kind of cartoony.  Still.

The SpaceX ships were named Just Read the Instructions and Of Course I Still Love You.  I find the second super evocative.  I could name my next book Of Course I Still Love You after the ship named after the book ship.

But you know me.  I have a hard time justifying space travel when people on Earth are starving.  But maybe I'm backward.

Sunday, January 07, 2018

hat genius 16

Things are super messy at our house.  But I have faith some cleanup will happen soon. 

We were at A's house till midnight last night then went to Roberto's for burritos.  So we weren't asleep till 2 and I was awake at 5:30.  Hmm, that's not ideal.

I have a goddess temple board meeting at noon.  Oh, I think I already told you.

Saturday, January 06, 2018


This morning I served the hungry: bread.  Then we had a meeting.  During check ins I said I had been down for a few days. 

After the meeting J gave me some extra attention.  Tomorrow I'm helping her take down the Christmas tree.  I had this weird idea we could play Christmas carols backwards.  Weird idea, Laura-Marie.

Friday, January 05, 2018


I keep getting more stuff and it keeps piling up on my desk.  People give me notecards, journals, printouts of internet articles, letters, toys, books...

Ming went to a search & rescue thing last night.  It was like a job interview.  But he'd be volunteering.

Why does he want to take on one more big thing?  I think it's because the Street Medics is floundering.

I'm sad.  Life feels pointless.  That's a sign I need to kick up my self-care.  I'm going to write in my journal and try to make a plan.

Thursday, January 04, 2018


Laying out two new zines--I still need covers, but I'm moving forward.

Tonight's a prayer thing.  Last month we brought A with us, and our friends welcomed the stranger.  "You're only a stranger once!" A said.

Mom made me rainbow hats.

Wednesday, January 03, 2018


It's the middle of the night / early in the morning.  I should go back to bed but wanted to say hello to you first.  Hello to you, Unknown. 

I'm listening to Mazzy Star and feeling both the sweetness of life and the weight of the world.  Strange how they can go together so easily!

Well, gnight.

Tuesday, January 02, 2018


A funny moment yesterday was when I googled something on my phone and A saw the autofill of my previous searches.  He remarked on one.

"Don't look at my google searches!" I snapped.  "I looked it up because you mentioned it!"

"I google everything you tell me about too!" he said. 

Then I felt stupid for snapping at him and being embarrassed about my search history.


Ran out of propane--took the rice and lentils to Freedom House to cook.  Forgot to put the peas in the rice.  It's okay. 

Hopefully Ming will be back from the doctor soon to switch out the propane tanks.  He txts me they're doing a drug screen on him.  Sadface.

blue moment

It's a blue moment, outside.  The sun is coming--it's getting light.

I got up to do some writing.  And I think I'll go back to bed now.

Today I'm cooking lentil soup and rice for lunch.  Then there are greens for salad.  Nothing else on the agenda, thank gosh.

Monday, January 01, 2018


We stayed up all night last night having a fire in the firepit at the goddess temple and drinking tea and reading to each other.

Then the sun came up, and I was happy.

It's going to take some getting used to, the new year.