dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Monday, June 30, 2014

ALA day four of four

There are all sorts of vendors at the ALA confernece in addition to the book ones, library tech ones, library info ones, government ones, etc. 

There's a booth of Navajo women selling jewelery.  I bought some earrings from them for $12.  They're small and two greens in an interesting pattern.  I will show them to you another day. 

Anyway, yesterday I tried for about an hour to get one in my left earhole, and I couldn't find the back.  This has happened to me before.  I can tell it still goes through...

Also I think the second hole on my right ear is closed up completely.  I am not brave enough to get wounded again.  So I think I'm done getting pierced.

Yesterday I took an hour off to do the weekly Icarus support call.  I think it was really good for me.  I got some sunlight though it was hot out.  I need to process that Vitamin D. 

I felt supported and listened to by my friend C on the phone.  We are good at doing two-person calls though at first it was awkward.

In some ways a two person call may actually be the best.

Parking is $10 a day here.  Unfortunately, the expenses add up.  But I remain really glad we've done this because I like to try new things.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

what made my day

Taking a break in the computer room here at the ALA conference.  What made my day today:

Yesterday I sold issue one of functionally ill to someone, and she read it last night.  She liked it so much she came back to our table today and bought the complete set.  So she now has all 17 issues.  I wanted to hug her.

suffer for fashion

It's day three of our tabling at the ALA conference.  We're sitting on the floor in the lobby again to use Ming's computer.

I have been paying attention to dresses lately.  I wish for a cute one.  But I don't like shopping, and since my size is less common, it's hard to find something good.

But these librarians have some nice dresses.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

at the ALA conference

We are on the floor of the lobby waiting for the exhibition hall to open.  There's a plug for Ming's computer.  Lots of people, lots of movement.  I have had a headache for days, off and on, and I need to take a lot of breaks today.

Last night was fun.  I ran into someone I knew from online.  I read her nametag and recognized her name.  We were excited, and Ming took a picture.  I can't blog it yet because we don't have the card reader.

I sold zines to someone named Jeremy Brett, the name of the actor who plays my favorite Sherlock Holmes.  So I remember it.  He was very friendly and bought zines for his library.  I was pleased.  Ming and I had bet we wouldn't have any customers last night.

Ming loves me, and we have carrots.  There is a terrible new carpet smell pervading the hall.  But all is well.

Friday, June 27, 2014


I am at a Starbucks in Las Vegas because our internet shut off at the NDE house.  We were late paying our bill, and they canceled our account.  Anyway, I am listening to crappy easy listening music and sipping some ice water. 

This morning we served the hungry and washed dishes.  We were doing the handtowel station.  I don't think we got many towels back.  We gave our friend R a ride to the serving site.  He read us lyrics to a new song he's working on and told us about Peter Pan.

This afternoon the ALA conference starts.  We only table an hour and a half but need to get there early to set up.  I'm nervous.

So far I've given up desserts and sugary coffee drinks.  Juice.  I didn't drink soda anyway.  I had some vanilla yogurt with a little sugar in it, and I bought some cereal with a little sugar in it.  Sugar is everywhere, and I don't know how extreme to be.

Well, Ming needs to make a difficult phonecall.  He needs to try getting the internet account uncanceled.  I've had a headache off and on for days. 

And that's life as of now!

Thursday, June 26, 2014


Hard to drink enough in the desert in the summertime.  This morning we fed the hungry and skipped dishes to go for a walk but ended up having a dance party instead.  It was good. 

We peace vigiled from 9 to almost 10--we left early because I was delirious.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

bad joke

This morning we did Las Vegas things: served the hungry, talked to friends, washed dishes at the Catholic Worker house.  We got there early and heard prayer.  Our loved friend M showed us the psalm he's been reading. 

He wants a copy of the vegan cookzine.  Unfortunately, we didn't bring any.  I will send him one in the mail.

J showed us her garden.  She's getting beautiful cucumber flowers but no cucumbers.  I said she should hand-pollinate them.  She has nice tomato plants with only one tomato.  We watched her harvest her first eggplants.  They are Chinese eggplant, the long thin kind.

Cool indoors with the swamp cooler.  Yesterday we did laundry.  It dried fast.  It reminded me of the joke that it was so hot and dry, the person hanging their wash hung it then immediately took it down.  In the order it was hung, first up first down.

That reminds me of another joke--bridge painters.  A bridge was so big that as soon as the painters got to the end, it was time to start over at the other end. 

An unrelated joke is one I told Ming last night when I was looking out the window.  Once there was a person who was born c-section.  He was like other people, but when he left the house, he liked to climb out the window instead of walking out the door.  Is that a bad joke?  I think it's kind of funny but sad.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Robbie's garden bed bed

midnight driving

We are safe in Las Vegas.  We ended up leaving Sacramento at 11:40 rather than 2 am.  Ming's arms hurt.  So we got here earlier.  BOB behaved itself wonderfully.  I grocery shopped, and we have nice foods.  We did laundry, which is hanging on the line.  Drank tea, keeping cool. 

Our verdict: midnight driving is great.  I regaled Ming with tales of grad school, and we talked about our friends.  It was fun.  I had caffeine and was anxious but not too anxious.

We stopped at a Denny's in Bakersfield for breakfast around 4:30?  When we left the restaurant, tummies full, the sky was a beautiful deep blue. 

Monday, June 23, 2014

good mail day

Today I got some good mail, three good mails.  The letters nourish me.  One's from someone who's in solitary. 

We leave on our trip tomorrow morning at 2.  Pray for us!  Or send us a good wish or whatever.  Thanks.

I made myself a new necklace.  It's made of green, blue, and purple wooden beads.  It smells faintly of nailpolish.  I'm still deciding how I feel about it.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

oh, and there was a mountain lion

the fava beans that wouldn't die

I soaked some small fava beans and cooked them in Ming's crockpot for 10 hours.  Do you think I'm exaggerating?  I'm not.  And they still weren't all the way soft.  I looked through the plastic see-through lid.  Yes, the beans were simmering.  Good flavor, bad texture.

So I haven't eaten them much, but I thought I'd try to finish them today.  I cooked a tomato, heated them in the microwave, added a clove of raw pressed garlic, some olive oil.  It's much deliciouser this way.

My cousin never called, and I hope he's okay.

Handwashed my green dollar store scarf to keep wet around my neck during our long hot drive Tuesday morning.

beans for breakfast, 'cause who's gonna scold

I've done morning pages and meditated for four days now.  It might be hard to keep it up when we go on our trip.  But maybe I'm getting benefits already.

I think I'm going to give up sugar.  I'm eating refried beans for breakfast right now.  Ming had some too.  I figure I should give up sugar before I get diabetes rather than after.

Today my cousin gets out of prison.  I hope he calls.  He has my phone number.  I don't know when he gets dropped off, or if he'll have change.  Last I tried, you can't call a cellphone collect--is that still true?

Saturday, June 21, 2014

what are pop tarts?

Are pop tarts an actual food?  Are they just made up, like did someone make them up in the '50s?  Are they like tv dinners?  Should people eat them?  Do they actually resemble tarts? 

We bought some chocolate ones at Grocery Outlet on a whim.  And I'm trying to figure out what they are.  I think I've had actual tarts, apple ones, and they were good and not like pop tarts.  What do you think?

"I like the fruit flavored ones better," Ming said.  We also bought some organic strawberry ones to complete the experiment.  They are painfully sweet.


This morning I went to yoga again, this time with a friend, and her friends were there.  It was different, to do yoga as a social thing.  I'm feeling out how I feel about it.

Then we saw E to look at a form together, and he cleaned out his pantry and gave us food.  So we have a ton of refried beans now.  Maybe they'll become a staple.

Then we visited M.  It was good.  We were there an hour, sitting together in his living room, talking quietly.  We drank delicious organic apple juice.

Tomorrow we might see my cousin who's getting out of prison in the morning.  He might call.  I hope he does.

Friday, June 20, 2014

plowing on Thursday

I went to a different yoga class, a beginner's yoga that seemed misnamed!  They did plow.  I had my legs up in the air with a block under my sacrum.  I was like yeah right!  But I used to do plow when I was a teenager doing yoga from a book on my bedroom floor. I would do it in the morning before school.

Now I'm doing morning pages and meditating.  But it's only been two days.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

vegan linguini with creamy walnut sauce revisited

I remade this vegan pasta recipe with slightly toasted walnuts, and it turned out even better.  Also, I blended the walnuts and soymilk together better this time.  And there was a little more salt.  Anyway, it's one of the best things I've ever made.  It's not photogenic, though.  Parsley would help.

1/2 cup soymilk
3/4 cup walnut bits
2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 an onion chopped fine
2 garlic cloves, pressed
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp Better Than Bouillon
1 cup water
8 oz linguini

Toast the walnuts in a dry pan so they're just barely toasted.

Blend 1/2 cup of toasted walnuts with soymilk in a blender.  Set aside.

Boil a pot of water.

In a different pan, saute the onions in olive oil with the salt, pepper, and garlic powder until onion is clear.  Add the garlic and saute another minute.  Add the Better Than Bouillon--stir.  Add a cup of water.  Stir and cook until the liquid is slightly reduced.

Add a little salt to your pot of boiling water and add 8 oz of linguini.  Cook according to package directions, tasting it to see when it's done.  Drain it.

Mix the walnut-soymilk mixture into the onion mixture and turn the heat down.

Add the pasta to the sauce.  Stir well.

Dish onto plates and sprinkle with the rest of the toasted walnut bits, a little salt, and more pepper if you want.

what's that in my rice

I was starting some rice.  I thought I saw something in the water as I stirred, when it was about to boil.  So I got it out. 

At first I thought it was a rock.  It was gray and rounded and irregular.  But I smashed it between my fingers pretty easily. It came apart like sandstone but wasn't made of sand.  I washed it off my fingers.

"Should we still eat the rice?" I asked Ming.  I stirred more looking for more things, but I didn't see any.

He said, "It wasn't alive, and it wasn't dead." 

I said, "It wasn't poop."  And it wasn't an egg. 

So he said the rice was okay to eat.  I'm kind of grossed out, though.  Should I eat the rice?

I said we should go to whatsthatinmyrice.com.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014


Yesterday I met a new friend who makes zines here in Sacramento, and it was great to talk to her for an hour.  We shared all kinds of information.  I want to make her a mix cd.  She had very sparkly shoes.

Monday, June 16, 2014

pluot, air mail, dental mysteries

This plum-looking pluot got separated from the other fruit and has been on the counter for a while.  It looks a little beat up.  I said I would eat it, but I don't seem to be eating it.

Apropos to nothing, I was told by a postal employee that air mail doesn't exist anymore, but if I pay for an overseas letter using the automatic postal machine, it says to mark the envelope "air mail" and "par avion."  So I don't know what to believe.

Another non-sequitur is that when I got my last wisdom tooth pulled, once it was out, they seemed to pack something in the hole.  Maybe some...anti-infection dissolving stuff?  I just don't know.  I would really like if dental workers would explain what they're doing more, how far along they are, how it's going.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Berkeley day

We're getting ready for the conference we're tabling at.  We're binding zines like mad.

Yesterday we went to Berkeley to see Ming's mom.  We had a nice lunch with her, Indian-Pakistani food.

Then we made mass photocopies.  I had never spent more than $100 on copies, I don't think.  But that was Ming's new zine and more of his old zine too.  And tons of my old zines, for the conference.

Then we walked the pier and around the shore.  It was windy.  Squirrels, picnickers, ugly sailboats, funny kids.

Then we got me a boba drink at the place we went to last time, Purple Kow, that specializes in boba and is full of Asian-Americans.

Then we went to a cafe near Fondue Fred's.  Ming's son who graduated was having a dinner at Fondue Fred's.  Ming and I went to Cafe Med, where the Latte was invented.  I always thought the Latte was invented in France--silly me. 

Some old drunk guy with a long beard hit on me at the cafe counter.  Ming was saving our table.  The bearded guy said he liked my smile.  I get hit on so rarely I didn't know what to do to get him to leave me alone.  He asked me if I was there with someone, and I said yes and pointed to Ming.  "You're very lucky," he said and left. 

I finished a letter and started another while Ming was at the graduation dinner.  He didn't eat meat but came out of the restaurant smelling of meat.  He said some was cooking right in front of him.  All he had to eat was bread and cheese sauce.

We drove home late.  It was fine. I was chatty from the two cups of chai I'd had at lunch.  I told Ming stories of my life from a long time ago.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

goat's milk tapioca pudding

I was lying in bed unable to sleep, and the thought crossed my mind that the last post I made was horribly boring.  Sorry about that.

Right now it's 1 am.  I was hot and cold.  Yesterday I edited Ming's new zine for the last time. 

Yesterday we saw friends who gave us tapioca pudding made from goat's milk from their goat.  I don't like goat's milk, but I'm going to try it.  Unfortunately, Ming doesn't like tapioca.  I'm trying to figure out who to give it to.

Friday, June 13, 2014


Eating the potato salad I just made--it's delicious and still warm.  Soon I need to walk to therapy.  Ming's doing laundry. 

I want to relist the bassoon books I'm trying to get rid of on craigslist.  But I want to include a picture.  Last time I thought why bother.

Today we went to JoAnne for some orange embroidery thread (for zine binding) and some colorful wooden beads.  I also got a photo box.

I wrote a poem about my brother--I like it.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

free Marie Mason and Eric McDavid

Yesterday evening we went to an event at Sol Collective in support of some political prisoners.  You can read about it here.


We watched a 20 minute movie about Marie Mason and Eric McDavid that was informative and upsetting, but not graphic.  There were a lot of people there, which surprised me.  We learned of the event from a flier someone left at Shine Cafe.  Our friend P was helping to run the event, P from Food Not Bombs.  It was great to see him.

The moment the movie stopped working (the sound was working, but not the visual), meeting a community college prof and asking her about the books she was using, seeing artwork by political prisoners including some beautiful portraits and art on a leaf, exploring my own emotions about different kinds of activism including property damage, thinking about the times I've been arrested and what they was like compared to "real" arrests.

It was fun, and we stayed for an hour.  There was an open mic, and some people read letters from prisoners.  Could have been improved by some free vegan food, but otherwise, it was great.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

vegan linguini with creamy walnut sauce

This is my dream pasta recipe.  I love it.  I made it this afternoon, based on a recipe I found online, but I changed it a little.  First off, I wanted to try it with the walnuts plain, not roasted.  Next time, I'll roast them and try it that way.  Also, my blender kind of sucks, and / or I didn't blend the soymilk and walnuts together long enough.  So the mixture was still chunky.  Also, I didn't add salt with the onions because Better Than Bouillon is so salty.  Also, I left out the parsley.  Also, I used linguini instead of fettuccine.   But otherwise, it's similar to this recipe.  http://www.sheknows.com/food-and-recipes/articles/1027365/vegan-fettuccine-with-creamy-walnut-sauce-recipe

1/2 cup soymilk
3/4 cup walnut bits
2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 an onion chopped fine
2 garlic cloves, pressed
1/4 tsp black pepper
1 tsp Better Than Bouillon
1 cup water
8 oz linguini

Blend 1/2 cup walnuts with soymilk in a blender.  Set aside.

Boil a pot of water.

In a different pan, saute the onions in olive oil with the pepper until onion is clear.  Add the garlic and saute another minute.  Add the Better Than Bouillon--stir.  Add a cup of water.  Stir and cook until the liquid is slightly reduced.

Add a little salt to your pot of boiling water and add 8 oz of linguini.  Cook according to package directions, tasting it to see when it's done.  Drain it.

Whisk the walnut-soymilk mixture into the onion mixture and turn the heat down.

Add the pasta to the sauce.  Stir well.

Dish onto plates and sprinkle with the rest of the walnut bits, a little salt, and more pepper if you want.


I went to yoga yesterday and today.  It was good: I'm glad to take care of myself.  The classes are a lot less challenging than what I remember.  The sun salutations are modified.  I am used to regular ones.  But I can never do the lunges right.

It's windy today and not hot.  Hip hip horray!  Yesterday it was so windy I was worried a sunflower would blow over, but today it's fine.

I want to make this pasta recipe with walnut sauce.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Oh, and the black-eyes peas turned out perfectly delicious.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014


I'm reading this book called Wildly Affordable Organic, and I'm trying a recipe for spicy black-eyed peas right now.  I'm afraid our crock pot is way slower than others and it will take forever.  I think our "high" isn't very high.  But I'll tell you how it turns out.

Public service announcement: undercooked red kidney beans can make you sick.  So they say to soak them, throw out the soaking water, and make sure they come to a boil for ten minutes before simmering them to done.  I didn't know any of this and made some kali dal months ago, and I didn't soak them separately or do any of that, and we were fine, but next time I'll be careful.

sunflower time!

With Intention II

Yesterday right after I blogged that we were having a home day, we decided to go to Berkeley after all.  So we packed snacks and went! 

First we photocopied.  Then we went to Tilden Park and sat under a glorious oak tree.  I edited Ming's manuscript for his second issue of With Intention.  We talked for a long time.  We ate blueberries. 

We heard a tree fall, a eucalyptus tree.  There were no screams during or after the crash so I assume no one was crushed!

Then we went to dinner at my favorite place.  I had the eggplant, which was smokey and delicious.  Ming had the spinach.

Monday, June 09, 2014

hot hot hot

This morning we walked early and went to the dollar store for colorful hair things.  Now we're holed up with the ac blasting on us, enjoying a home day.  We talked about going to the mountains, going to the bay area, going to a lake--none of those seems to be happening! 

I'm reading a book called Wildly Affordable Organic and am getting a few good vegan recipes. 

Anybody want some little poetry zines?  I have tons of Lilliput Reviews to share.  Hit me up!

Sunday, June 08, 2014

can't stand the heat

It's supposed to hit 109 today and 108 tomorrow.  Blech! 

This morning we walked near Trader Joe's, planning to shop at 7, but they don't open until 8, so we went to this cafe and had delicious pastries.  Les Baux.

Saturday, June 07, 2014


Here's Ming with one of his kids in front of the Ben & Jerry's in Berkeley.

both of us

Yesterday in Berkeley with bougainvillea!

free time

Yesterday we woke up at 4:30 to hit the road by 5:30 to get to Livermore Labs to vigil by 7.  We sang and enjoyed vigiling in the morning. 

In the afternoon, we saw Ming's son R for ice cream, only R got pizza, I got a boba drink, and Ming got sorbet.  I love boba.  This was not a tea but was a creamy substance like melted ice cream with the boba spheres, lots of them, in the bottom of the cup.

We left Berkeley at 3:30, which was a bad time on a Friday.  It took us two hours and 20 minutes to get home, and it was hot, and BOB doesn't have air conditioning, of course.  

I'm freecycling some stuff.  I'm mid-negotiation.  Someone asked for all the items, which is strange.  Maybe she'll sell them?  But she didn't provide a suggested time for pickup, so I emailed her last night, and no word yet this morning. 

Today Ming's helping a friend with an all-day veg event.  I will have free time.

Thursday, June 05, 2014

stickers near the co-op


I took the day off yoga--we went for a walk at McKinley Park instead.  I made vegan potato salad and generated mail.  Ming did a newsletter, and I'm listening to a mix I made someone last winter.  It has winter songs on it.  Oh, and I ate some organic apricots and a white nectarine.  I will miss California summer fruit.  I will miss Sacramento's trees.  I'm nostalgic already.

My bestie is helping me with the poem project I'm working on.  I lost all of E's poems, but luckily, my bestie was willing to scan them all for me, email them to me.  She is my archivist!  So now I can go back into that cave, which at time feels sad.  Does working hard on a certain project ever feel like going into a cave for you?  I am liking the cave idea lately.

Wednesday, June 04, 2014


I've been going to yoga again.  I did the $30 for 30 days thing at a new-to-me studio.  It's good.  Yesterday I did seated yoga, and today I did All Bodies.  I thought the class would be full of fatties, but I was the only one.  I was surprised.  I found it pretty easy, yet I did some good stretching.  I enjoying being good to myself, and this is fun treats.

peace walk prose with photos and links

Here is a beautiful, fun to read account of the recent peace walk Ming and I participated in.  It's written by the person who conceived and ran it.


Tuesday, June 03, 2014

sunflower update

Sunday, June 01, 2014


I'm glad I sleep more heavily than I used to.  Mockingbirds used to keep me awake. 
I'm glad for running water, hot water, food, air, the usual things.  Love.
I'm glad for the apricots friends gave us yesterday from their tree.
I'm glad for summer, though I hate it.
I'm glad for you, reader.  Thanks for reading my sillies. 

cutie with tree trunk