dangerous compassions

I call you / from the comet's cradle

Thursday, July 31, 2014

just today so far

This morning we walked to the co-op.  I was dragging ass.  But it was okay.

Then we went to the Occupy National Gathering opening ceremony.  We saw friends, and I got hugs.  It was fun. 

Then we went to Ethiopian food for lunch.  The lentils and the yellow split peas are my favorite.  The flavors are just right for me.  We had a coupon a friend gave us more than a year ago.

Then we made some photocopies.  I was looking at the books being displayed for sale at FedEx.  A book had an essay in it by Cheryl Strayed.  I read it in the store, and it was fine.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

spinach dreams

This morning we delivered the bag lunches.  I'm curious about how the sandwiches tasted.  I had a secret fantasy that they would say, "We have two bags too many," and give me and Ming lunches, and then we could know.

This afternoon I had a dentist appointment.  I was amazed at how long it took.  They had to shave down my filling ten times!  I thought I would walk out the door and crickets would be chirping and it would be the dead of night!  This was the most difficult filling of my life.  Luckily I walked out laughing instead of crying.  Just so relieved it was over. 

I thought they were going to have to take the new filling out and start over, at one point.  So glad they didn't need to do that.

What does the night hold for me, the true one, not the imagined cricket chirping one?  Hopefully I won't have weird weird dreams about spinach for eight hours like last night.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014


Tonight we were at our friend D's house helping assemble lunches for tomorrow's anti-racism training for the Occupy national gathering.  They are tofu sandwiches.  So we sliced loaves of bread, washed fruit, and stuff like that.  It was fun, but I concentrated too hard.  I'm tired now.

I came away from our lunch assembly party with one great insight--a good bread knife is irreplaceable.

Guest Blogger strikes again

Guest Blogger:

"Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail" was a great book.I finished it and loved the backpacking descriptions.

I have been sleepy today.

Had ramen for dinner.

Opps here she comes.

not funny / funny

Yesterday we went to Coffee Garden with my learner to help him apply for a job.  He had to do this questionnaire about his attitude and how successful he is on the job.  It was terrible.  It took an hour and a half.  It was complete and utter bullshit, the kind of questionnaire where you're just trying to figure out what they want you to say and saying it.  A waste of time.

Sorry for that burst of negativity, reader.  I have strong feelings.

This morning we went for a walk at McKinley Park.  It was our first time there in quite a while.  It's cloudy out and pleasant.  Then we sent some mail.  Then we went to the co-op.  We bought a small banana for me and a large one for Ming.  We bought a lemon and a lemon cucumber.  I found both of these combinations funny.

Tonight we're preparing some food with Food Not Bombs, and in the morning we'll help transport it.

Monday, July 28, 2014


Yesterday we went to Berkeley.  I made some photocopies and we ate delicious Indian-Pakistani food.  We saw Ming's mom, and we went to Long Haul infoshop where we ran into a friend.  We took him to coffee, and it was fun.  I dropped off a big bag of zines for Long Haul's zine library.

This morning I tutor and we've got nothing else going on.  Well, I need to make some copies and file some paperwork.  I've been dreading it.  But maybe today's the day.

Sunday, July 27, 2014


Yesterday we had writers group at Coffee Garden.  It was so pleasant there I didn't want to leave.  I wrote two poems I liked.  It was kind of hot, on the back patio, but there was a breeze.

I baked cookies, some of my favorite cookies to bake: chewy chocolate raspberry cookies, which are vegan. 

And we did bread pickup in the evening for Food Not Bombs.  It was too hot by then, and I suffered because of our lack of air conditioning.

Oh, and we went to farmers market in the morning, the Oak Park one we can walk to.  It was fun to buy some organic pluots and organic strawberries and say hi to the farmers. 

Our friend drove by in her convertible VW bug and saw us walking and talked to us for a minute.  It was good to see her.  She's the one we keep trying to have lunch at our favorite vegan place, Anna's Vegan Cafe.

I always have the eggplant tofu in black bean sauce for $4.95.  It even comes with a cup of soup and a spring roll and rice.  What a deal!  It's a lunch special.

Now we're trying to figure out what to do.  We have nothing on the calender for today, and nothing tomorrow except tutoring at 10 am.  So we could have some fun and are deciding.

Friday, July 25, 2014


Finished Wild this morning.  In the super simple, too simple way of evaluating things, I give it four stars out of five. 

It was the first book I finished in a long time.  It was an emotional journey, that's for sure.  It gave me some backpacking insight, more than I already had as the ex-wife of a backpacker. 

No matter what, I don't want to shit in the woods.  So I will not be backpacking soon.

Thursday, July 24, 2014


We picked up some quinoa rice pasta, little round ones, at Berkeley Bowl last week.  And I made pasta salad this evening. 

It's good though I would like regular wheat pasta better.  I made garlic lover's pasta with peas and fresh garlic and everything. 

Last night I was up so late, and we slept in until after 9 am, which is unheard of.  Our schedule is all wonky.

Today I made a silkscreen at the women's center where I do art sometimes.  It was not how I expected.  It didn't dry in time for me to print from it--it's the word FORGIVE.

The person who runs the art program there let me borrow some paint so I can print it at home.

So I think we're going to bed now where I may or may not finished the book I'm reading Wild.

bad habit

Last night I went to a play.  It was South Pacific.  I'm still feeling out how I feel about it.  Some things about it confused me, stuff about power.

My therapist was my ride, which I think is weird.  The free tickets were through the women's center where she therapies me.  I like her very very much.  But I was tense.

"This is like the dream I had that we were going to the beach," I said.

Now I'm up in the middle of the night again, bad habit, but my legs were so restless I had to move them every few seconds and sleep wasn't working out.  I drank some water, which didn't help.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

dig up your bone, exhume your pinecone

I made enchiladas the other day.  The olives are really important.  We just finished off the leftovers with some canned refried beans. 

It was hard for me to have all the ingredients fresh at the same time.  Trader Joe's tortillas are the best but don't last so long.

Today I met with my book club to discuss the first half of Wild.  It was pretty good.  I was quiet but not too bad.  I lost focus toward the end, out of energy.  I was so social yesterday and hadn't replenished my social time energy supply.

Ming keeps harvesting more and more grapes off Fig Tree.  There's a bowl of grapes on the kitchen table among other things. 

I should attack some pluots.  Ming's washing the dishes.  Listening to Joanna Newsom which soothes me.  Good use of the word "exhume," Joanna Newsom.


Yesterday was busy.  Some highlights were seeing P in Carmichael, having a mobile notary do divorce forms with me and E at his place, and dinner with friends.  I made easy vegan sweet potato curry using Thai curry paste.  It was delicious.  I made rice and garlic spinach too.  Friends enjoyed it.

I got to pet a cat.  "You have new people to love on," one of the friends said.  We had chocolate after dinner.  It was salty, a trend I don't like.

The friends had a roommate who was in the living room the whole time who we weren't introduced to and who sometimes commented within our conversation.  It was weird.  He was on his computer working on a paper.

So now I have more divorce paperwork to file.  And I think I'm going back to sleep.  Gnight!

Sunday, July 20, 2014

rainbow tiedye backpack

This morning we went to Target so I could get a new backpack.  I had two: a red one and a blue one.  The blue one the lining is coming off and sprinkling little gray particles into all my stuff, which is annoying.  The red one the main compartment's zipper is broken.

So Ming bought me this rainbow tiedye backpack!  It's wonderful.  I need to transfer stuff into it.

Then we went to the farmers market and bought a ton of fruit and a little veg.  Just a dollar's worth of Brussels sprouts.

Then we came home and I have enchiladas in the oven but only four.  And rice on the stove, and I'll heat up a can of beans.  Listening to this cd I made for a friend before I send it.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

jin deui

Mt Shasta

art in Berkeley

puffed quinoa

Yesterday at Berkeley Bowl we picked up some puffed quinoa.  Just enough to try for breakfast.  I'm eating some with soymilk, and it's very boring.  But I like to try something new.

Maybe people who are in the know know how to make is deliciouser.

Friday, July 18, 2014

survived Chinatown

Today we went to Oakland Chinatown.  It was me, Ming, his mom, and his kid R.  We went to this restaurant where the kid had duck feet and some other duck dish.  I had some braised tofu in gravy.  Ming had some rice porridge.  Ming's mom had some rice porridge with fish.

Also I ordered some borscht on a whim.  "Russian borscht" the menu said next to something in Chinese.  But I think borscht is supposed to be vegan and supposed to have beets in it.  What was delivered to our table was tomato soup with carrots and little bits of meat.  Oops.

I will fail to comment on our whirlwind tour of Chinatown other than food.

Ming's son had some boba tea without sugar, and I had some boba Ovaltine.  It was good.

And Ming's mom bought us some wonderful sweets: a sweet rice cake and a deep-fried rice bun with sesame seeds on the outside and some sweet black bean paste in the middle.  It was so good.  I will post a pic tomorrow.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

food news

A few days ago I was cooking mostly naked and burned a patch of skin on my stomach.  It hurt but not too much.  So I was surprised when it blistered.  I think we have fewer nerves there.

Today on our way home from Mt Shasta the Town, we stopped at Olive Pit for shakes--I got the almond butter shake, and I think it was the best shake I'd ever had.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Mt Shasta the Town

Hello from Mt Shasta the Town.  We're at the library where it's cool and has computers.  The bank of computers is small.

We had Thai food for lunch at this place called Phucket.  Something that sounds like Fuck It.  My food was very bland.  I've decided that I don't like yellow curry.

Long time ago in Irvine, I went to this Thai place and got delicious potato curry, and I keep wanting to eat that again, but it doesn't happen.

Last night I woke up about 20 times.  The ground is hard beneath our tent.  I use my backpack as a pillow.

I'm reading this backpacking book called Wild.  It's also just a memoir, with hiking the Pacific Crest Trail as a theme.  But her mom dies and marriage ends as well.

This morning while Ming hiked Black Butte, I wrote some long letters.  I was at the cafe of this natural foods store called Berryvale.

Mt Shasta the Town is such a hippie, New Agey place.  How did this happen?  Did I tell you before about all the crystal shops?  At the little park there were a bunch of people lying in the grass with their backpacks off.

This was an impromptu camping trip, and we will go home tomorrow.  Then Friday we're going to Oakland Chinatown with Ming's kids.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

we're off


Monday, July 14, 2014

follow through

I have a pattern of getting up in the middle of the night lately.  Maybe it has to do with the heat. 

Yesterday we were in SF.  It was a sunny day there.  It got very hot here and is supposed to hit 106 today.  I foresee being cooped up with the ac blasting on me.

Yesterday at Rainbow Grocery we bought some dino egg plums.  We also bought some dark chocolate with peanutbutter mixed in.  It was awesome from the bulk bins but expensive.

There were a lot of places outside that smelled like pee.  The city is so dirty.  I always think, "The gritty city."  I couldn't live there.  But to many people, it's life.

I think we need to run the ac all day and rack up a huge electric bill.

I'm sorry to talk about the weather so much.  Maybe I should stop.  But when it's extreme, it takes up so much of my energy.

Yesterday I was talking to someone who says it's easy to start blogs and then forget about them.  She also said she's started three zines and not finished any of them.  I think I am the opposite of her when it comes to follow through.

"Maybe to my detriment," I said.

"How do you know when a zine is done?" she asked.  She's an artist.  "Do you just know?"

Saturday, July 12, 2014

undercover hippies

I forgot to tell you last time we were in Berkeley, Ming and I walked out of Espresso Roma and a Greenpeace canvaser on the corner asked us, "Are you two undercover hippies?"

Ming said, "No," and we kept walking.

What the hell was that about?  His long hair, our holding hands?  Ming says she just wanted us to talk to her. 

I told Ming, "If we really were hippies, we would have stopped to talk to her.  Because we would have been high."  That was a joke.

too too much

More of the same. 

I am home alone while Ming gardens.  We're dismantling our community garden plot.  He's ripping out the tree kale now.  They probably have harlequin bugs. 

Listening to David Bazan.  Tired, needing protein.

Did you see the super moon?

Friday, July 11, 2014

too much

I am overwhelmed by people to write back to.  I'm on this website where strangers can write to one another, and I think I need to take my address down.  So many letters, postcards, zines.  Too many people to keep track of. 

Last night I tabled for four hours at GATHER in Oak Park and the music was too loud, but it was okay.  I got to talk to my friend who's an artist.  And I met someone too, someone who makes origami earrings out of Japanese subway maps.  There were a lot of little kids.

I want to bake some cookies, but it's hot.  I don't have the right energy at the right time.

I remember telling someone that baking cookies is a big commitment.  She thought I was wrong and baking a cake is a big commitment.  I think cookies is more because you have to do dozen after dozen.  It's multi-step.  Cakes are so much easier.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

the suspense is killing me--I hope it lasts

I got my inbox down to six emails (four of them from the same person).  But I owe letters to about ten people.  Sigh. 

I was just listening to some Alanis Morissette, the musician my dad loves to hate. 

Tabling today at GATHER in Oak Park, selling zines.  Wish me luck because I won't have Ming by my side.  Can I do it without him?  We'll see.

Wednesday, July 09, 2014


We are home again and safe, eating the most boring cereal known to man--not even walnuts and almond slices can redeem it. 

We need some fruits.

It was a long drive home yesterday, but we stopped in Berkeley to see Ming's mom.

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

Ming's beautiful grapes

Ming grew these beautiful grapes in our backyard.

Monday, July 07, 2014

good day on the Central Coast

This morning Ming and I went to the beach.  We went to Avila and walked along a creek for a while.  We saw some turkey vultures.  Some kids were taking surfing lessons.  Some other kids were doing calisthenics. 

We sat for a while on the sand  We just talked.

Walking by the creek, Ming noticed a little plastic dog.  I picked it up and brushed off the sand.  I put it in my pocket.  I want to take an old toothbrush to it and keep it.  I will try to remember to take a pic for you.

Then we went to Avila Barn and looked at the animals.  A highlight was seeing a baby llama nursing.  We were waiting for it to be done so we could see its face.  Finally the momma stepped forward and the baby stopped nursing.  It was cute.  I liked looking at them.

Ming bought us some turnovers.  Then he had some roasted corn.  I ate three bites. 

Then we went to the Loading Dock in old Orcutt.  We looked at antiques.  There was a stall of the antique mall that had old photos and postcards.  Surprisingly, the postcards were almost all 25 cents.  So I bought some and already sent one with a picture of orange trees on it to my bestie in Arcata.

Sunday, July 06, 2014


"You know what I think you need to do?" Dad asked.

"I don't like sentences that start with those words," Mom said.

"Let me rephrase that," Dad said.

We have so much fruit it's kind of ridiculous: grapes, blueberries, strawberries.  Peaches, nectarines.  Pluots, apriums, and plumcots!  Apricots.  Oranges, lemons, mellogold grapefruit, regular grapefruit.  Avocados, bananas. 

Saturday, July 05, 2014

lion's mane mushrooms

I saw these lion's mane mushrooms at the Arroyo Grande farmers market.  I had never seen them before, five bucks a box.  So I bought some and fried them up.  They were delicious.

aunt's garden

Conjoined delicata squash, two sisters, and a sunflower.

sugar fest

Last night we made crepes.  I like mine with lemon juice and sugar like when I was a kid.  I had some like that and one with the addition of strawberries and whipped cream.  Mom was good at making them. 

This morning we're having oatmeal with sweetened condensed milk, Dad's idea.  Mine has walnuts and strawberries too.

My plans to quit sugar have failed.  But at least I am having a little caution. 

Thursday, July 03, 2014

new necklace

pineapple time

the ALA

just me

I have a bag of Taco Works chips, my favorite kind of chips.  They have a delicious flavorful salty powder on them.  They are a local favorite out of San Luis Obispo. 

When I was a kid at Pacific Christian School, we would eat them at recess.

Yesterday Ming cut up a pineapple, and I photographed the occasion.  Pics soon.

Pineapple burns my mouth, and no one else here gets their mouth burned.  Chiles burn my hands too.  Just me.

Wednesday, July 02, 2014


Ming got signed up for the same OCD class series he's done twice already. 

"I don't want to go!" I said.  It's in Roseville, and I have to go with him, not to the class itself but to the building.

"I don't think we're going to go," Ming said.

"Isn't it compulsive, to go to the same class over and over again?" I asked.   The irony.

We left Las Vegas at 2 this morning, stopping in Baker on our way here for a baklava shake at Mad Greek.  Then we had breakfast at a Denny's in Saugus.  Bad food choices, but not only is every day a new day, but ever hour is a new hour.  Every minute is a new minute.  And we can always make better choices.

Do I hate self-help books and self-help gurus so much because I secretly want to write one, be one?  True confessions of Laura-Marie.

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

constant craving

Tomorrow at around 2 am we're leaving Las Vegas.  It feels like we live here already.  We have more than one home.

I think I will always think of the ALA 2014 conference fondly.  It was fun, and I did great.  So much human movement, so many librarians, so many zines.

Now I'm tired.  It's supposed to be 112 here today.  My back hurts from the hard Starbux chair.  I want sugar.