Saturday, February 28, 2015
We went for a short walk this morning on the retreat center grounds. We'll go for a longer one this afternoon, or I will, during the movie. I don't want to see the movie.
Listening to music quietly, digesting breakfast. I signed all the cards to the political prisoners. I kept it brief.
There are more than 70 people here for the Pacific Life Community retreat. I am friends with about 10 of them, but I'm making new friends too.
Friday, February 27, 2015
leg two of this road trip
Last night we went to a clothing store to return some jeans Mom bought Ming for Christmas. They had poor pocket material and were getting holes already, the pocket where he kept his keys, so we exchanged them.
I have had a mega-dose of tv and was losing it yesterday. My long sleep pushed my reset button somewhat, so I am okay this morning.
Today we head north to the Pacific Life Community retreat in Menlo Park. I don't know what it will be like, but I feel like little is expected of me and hopefully I can take breaks.
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Today we'll go for a walk and to the farmers market. Yesterday we went to see my bestie in Goleta.
I am stressed about too many things.
--my student loan (they need more documentation before processing my income-based repayment)
--the Social Security hearing that's happening in mid-March
--doing lunches for Shut Down Creech and not knowing if people will help
--pleasing the lunch eaters
--the final walk through for the apartment moveout
--the tv driving me crazy
--the dog driving me crazy by barking at me, sniffing me, etc
--Dad barking at the dog
--the going-away party and are we supposed to decorate and how about music?
--packing and getting rid of things
--saying goodbye to friends
--whether all the stuff will fit in the trailer
--fear of snapping at the friends who will help us
--fear of losing it
--getting services in Las Vegas
--getting a psychiatrist before my meds run out
--paying for car registration in Nevada
--if a jerkish person comes to live with us
--lack of control
Okay, that's enough for now. I will list more as they occur to me.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Monday, February 23, 2015
Sunday, February 22, 2015
Sunday's to relax
Then in the afternoon, Ming and I went to a bracelet making class at Capital City Beads. I did poorly. Ming and I used faux leather. The knotting was tricky for me to figure out, and I was the slowest one. I don't really like what I came up with, but it was good to be with friends. It was kind of a birthday party.
We are broke, having spent a lot of money on moving expenses. Too much.
Travel for the rest of the month through the beginning of March--then two weeks here, then we move.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
love / loss
I thought nothing was holding me to Sacramento, but I see now that a ton is. Yesterday we saw my church friend V. She gave me a beautiful shawl from India. She's 76, she told us, and will move soon too. She can't do anymore the things she's been doing.
My beautiful V--was this the last time I'd ever see her? So much love, so much loss.
Friday, February 20, 2015
no more things
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Then we had lunch, four of us. Ming and I ripped greens into bite-sized pieces. I seasoned and heated some canned beans. Our friend made salad dressing.
The same cat that was nice to me was mean to other people. We talked about Nevada Desert Experience and what we're getting out of it when the WWOOFer asked.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
"It's comfort food you can rely on," it said on the side of the box. It also said something stupid about kids. I wonder what percentage of mac and cheese is made for kids.
But I was thinking about the people who write copy for food boxes and what a sad job that is. Could I do any better?
The picture on the box showed orange mac and cheese, but it turned out white. Wtf.
the drone at the park
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
We had fun too. My favorite part was sitting at Longhaul Infoshop with Ming and our friend A, drinking warm beverages, enjoying the quiet space before it opened. It felt really good to stare at the curtains and talk or not talk.
Another fun thing was running into a peace walker friend at Sconehenge.
I wish I took pictures. I wish I had something to show you.
We're helping with two big events and are busy with logistics: planning emails, trying to figure stuff out. When who's arriving where, who's doing what with whose help. Numbers and promises. Ming and I are doing lunch. But there are a lot of unknowns.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Strangely, my story had goats too, though the goats in mine were offstage. I actually wrote some fiction, something I almost never do. I felt like I was cobbling together bits of reality / my past / things I'd read elsewhere in a clumsy fashion. And then I was worried it sounded like a romance novel.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
It looked like confetti, but it was actually rice. Cooked rice, Ming tells me. He was walking on the sidewalk right after it happened.
For an early lunch I made burritos: refried beans, soyrizo, and onions in Trader Joe's tortillas. So good. But there's gotta be a way to make soyrizo ourselves way cheaper.
Ming read to me from The Secret Garden. I like Dicken's baby lamb. This book is pretty good but repetitive.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Thursday, February 12, 2015
The drive home was uneventful. We stopped at a Denny's for breakfast and many gas stations for bathroom breaks. I slept a little and dozed a lot.
It was a weird fast trip and I don't know what to do with myself now. I feel like celebrating, but that tends to require money, and we spent all of ours.
I've decided to goof off and try to relax. But I'm looking at the calendar to see what's next.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
the only solution is love
We had three Catholic Worker friends help us unload the truck, and the mood was light. We were singing and having fun.
We returned the truck and all's well. Made dinner for five here at the compound. The roasted brussels sprouts were a hit.
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Monday, February 09, 2015
I got a letter from one of my two prisoners penpals who's in solitary confinement up in Pelican Bay in Crescent City. He is very nice and wants more zines. He sent me his picture and explains in the letter that he's standing like that (with his hands behind his back) because he's in handcuffs. It almost made me cry.
I penpal with some people who I have no idea what they look like and they have no idea what I look like. But I'm considering sending photos to my two prisoner penpals because I know they'd like to see what I look like.
But I feel kind of contrary about it like why should it matter? I can't decide.
Sunday, February 08, 2015
It's raining, which I love.
Yesterday we spent in East Bay. Ming helped his mom. She said she loved me.
We saw a friend and went to this party at the Omni in the evening. We helped cook the food. Actually all I did was cut up some fruit for fruit salad and chop some garlic for the beans and green salad.
This morning we went to the grocery store. As we were checking out, someone said, "It's pouring." We all looked out the window.
In the parking lot someone asked us for change, and I said no thank you.
Friday, February 06, 2015
I ate a brownie and drank water. It was so humid my water glass dripped water everywhere when I drank from it.
I'm going crazy from sorting and packing. That part of my mind seems done.
But tomorrow we'll have fun in the Bay Area again while Ming helps his mom.
Thursday, February 05, 2015
It's a beautiful cloudy day and will rain a lot this weekend, is the prediction. Feels sort of like winter again, winter for here.
I'm listening to a cd I made a friend. The first two tracks were skippy, but maybe it was dust? I flicked a fleck of dust away and it's playing fine now around track seven.
We can do it, friends!
Wednesday, February 04, 2015
comfort / discomfort
2. Lately I want to eat ramen. But I know it's not good for me. I don't use the seasoning packet though. I season it myself with nutritional yeast and salt and some pretend butter. It's the ultimate comfort food, more than mac and cheese.
3. This morning I went to a cafe with friends. They were working on their laptops while I wrote letters and read the aforementioned book. One friend snapped at the other. Then they made up.
Tuesday, February 03, 2015
Night night and talk to you tomorrow,
Monday, February 02, 2015
Oh wait I can't be a hipster.
I'm at a cafe with a cookie I haven't touched. I didn't really want the cookie--I wanted the least-expensive thing so I could sit here for an hour and a half.
This morning I was at the Rio Linda McDonald's drinking a decaf coffee for two and a half hours while Ming gardened with friends. It was actually okay. I wrote three letters and read some essays by a former friend who I miss a lot. She published a book. It feels voyeuristic to read it, but I am.
Some guy named James hit on me. He introduced himself to me and asked if he could give me his phone number. I said no thank you. I am way too polite. He left the McDonald's to smoke a cigarette and came back in. He sat at the table next to mine and just spaced out for a while.
"You're a nice lady," he said out of the blue.
"Yeah," I said. I am a nice lady.
Sunday, February 01, 2015
I'm trying to sort and throw things away and figure out books to get rid of and how. Selling them is such a pain.
I've been keeping my inbox really empty, writing back to personal emails quickly. It's good but strange to have an empty inbox. At least the "primary" tab is empty. The tab for mass emails and promotional emails is overfull.
Cleaning my desk, I found some Eastergrass seeds my penpal from Finland sent me. I never grew the Eastergrass. So what do I do with the seeds? I feel like someone would want them, but I don't know who. I could send them back to her, but they probably cost less than postage. I guess I'll just throw them away.
Everything is a decision like this.