Sunday, February 28, 2010
"Directive" by Robert Frost
Then we went to Trader Joe's so I could get tortillas and a few quarters for laundry. The worker asked me, "Did you find everything you needed today?" I thought about it and said, "I think so." Then I wanted to ask her if she was finding everything she needed today, but I realized that would be a weird thing to say.
The banana bread turned out delicious, but it's kind of overkill. Chocolate chips or streudel. Not and.
The ful turned out very good, but I will never again buy fava beans with the shells still on. Erik read me one of our favorite poems while I shucked.
Back out of all this now too much for us,
Back in a time made simple by the loss
Of detail, burned, dissolved, and broken off
Like graveyard marble sculpture in the weather,
There is a house that is no more a house
Upon a farm that is no more a farm
And in a town that is no more a town.
The road there, if you’ll let a guide direct you
Who only has at heart your getting lost,
May seem as if it should have been a quarry—
Great monolithic knees the former town
Long since gave up pretense of keeping covered.
And there’s a story in a book about it:
Besides the wear of iron wagon wheels
The ledges show lines ruled southeast-northwest,
The chisel work of an enormous Glacier
That braced his feet against the Arctic Pole.
You must not mind a certain coolness from him
Still said to haunt this side of Panther Mountain.
Nor need you mind the serial ordeal
Of being watched from forty cellar holes
As if by eye pairs out of forty firkins.
As for the woods’ excitement over you
That sends light rustle rushes to their leaves,
Charge that to upstart inexperience.
Where were they all not twenty years ago?
They think too much of having shaded out
A few old pecker-fretted apple trees.
Make yourself up a cheering song of how
Someone’s road home from work this once was,
Who may be just ahead of you on foot
Or creaking with a buggy load of grain.
The height of the adventure is the height
Of country where two village cultures faded
Into each other. Both of them are lost.
And if you’re lost enough to find yourself
By now, pull in your ladder road behind you
And put a sign up CLOSED to all but me.
Then make yourself at home. The only field
Now left’s no bigger than a harness gall.
First there’s the children’s house of make-believe,
Some shattered dishes underneath a pine,
The playthings in the playhouse of the children.
Weep for what little things could make them glad.
Then for the house that is no more a house,
But only a belilaced cellar hole,
Now slowly closing like a dent in dough.
This was no playhouse but a house in earnest.
Your destination and your destiny’s
A brook that was the water of the house,
Cold as a spring as yet so near its source,
Too lofty and original to rage.
(We know the valley streams that when aroused
Will leave their tatters hung on barb and thorn.)
I have kept hidden in the instep arch
Of an old cedar at the waterside
A broken drinking goblet like the Grail
Under a spell so the wrong ones can’t find it,
So can’t get saved, as Saint Mark says they mustn’t.
(I stole the goblet from the children’s playhouse.)
Here are your waters and your watering place.
Drink and be whole again beyond confusion.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Guess what? I made chia pudding tonight. It's okay. I told Erik, "I'm not really convinced this is pudding, but do you want to try it?" He liked it. You just take a cup of soymilk or whatever and mix it with a fourth cup of chia seeds and add a pinch of salt and a generous dollop of agave nectar. Mix. Let it sit for 15 minutes on the counter or overnight in the fridge or whatever. Yeah.
Guess what else? We went to Auburn today. We had massive amounts of fun. We ate and shopped at Ikeda's. I got some exciting stuff, like dried fava beans so I can make ful and dried whole peas which I'm soaking already so I can try sprouting them.
Then we walked on some hiking trails near rivers and through woods and sat reading and writing and all that kind of thing. I saw the most beautiful and awesome manzanita trees. I will remember their excellence forever. I also saw the confluence of two rivers, which delighted me.
But Erik couldn't tell me the names of the rivers. There was a signpost there like there used to be a sign saying the names of the rivers, but someone took the sign.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Erik's best friend T was at the cafe. He was using his computer, on the far side of the room, and Erik spotted him after we'd been there about 20 minutes. T showed Erik pictures, like a picture of the woman he's dating. Then T left--he was going to the gym.
I made some delicious tofu scramble for dinner. Lately I've been adding broccoli.
Today I went to the post office and waited in line about 15 minutes. I picked up a package that was waiting for me. My friend G sent me fabulous, fabulous things. I wish the damn mail carriers would leave packages in front of my door. But I bought some stamps too, nice red New Year ones, and sent some copies of Please Pass the Plants.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Today some medicine I was waiting for came in the mail. It's raining a lot, so we feel like winter came back.
Monday, February 22, 2010
got home this afternoon
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Then we went to a few stores, and I bought a little stationary. My favorite are some lotus notecards. Erik looked at Japanese buckwheat hull pillows.
Then we went to the botanic garden in Tilden Park and ate our sandwiches then walked in the garden and sat on benches reading and writing. I told Erik how when you first go to a new botanic garden you're all dazzled and excited and maybe overwhelmed, and then the more you go there, the more you get to know it, and some of the excitement goes away, but comprehension gets better.
Then we went to early dinner. We loved this Indian-Pakistani place for so long, but I think this might have been our last time going there. Erik says he doesn't like the way his body feels after eating that heavy food. So maybe we will start going to vegan Japanese all the time though it's much more expensive.
Then we went for a dusk walk in neighborhoods. The tulip trees are blooming.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Eden Foods beans
the story of our afternoon
Then we still had an hour left on the parking meter, so we decided to try to find Zanzibar, this store Erik thought I would like. So we walked kind of far and found it. It's a fair trade import store with lots of little statues and trinkets and jewelery. They had a ton of Day of the Dead stuff, soapstone statues from Africa, amber, malas, incense, statues, soap.... I bought some expensive beautiful cards, a little hand of Fatima, a little pin of skeletons riding bikes, and a present for my brother. His birthday isn't coming up, and Christmas is far away, so I guess I will just send it for no reason.
Then we realized we were going to get a parking ticket, so Erik decided to run ahead and get the car and pick me up. So I stood on a street corner near Zanzibar, waiting. Then my friend's boyfriend N came by on his bike. It was good to see him. Then Erik picked me up, and we didn't get a ticket. The end.
The pumpkin bread called for half cup of applesauce, but I had a lot of overripe bananas, so I used about half a cup of mashed banana instead, and that worked great.
My banana bread had spots that were kind of underdone even though I cooked it for the recommended time and my inserted knife came clean. This is the second time this has happened to me, and I'm confused.
Monday, February 15, 2010
We went to our favorite cafe. Yesterday was warm, so they had the doors wide open, and guess what? There were mosquitoes there too! But only a few, and I don't think they bit us.
Started reading another graphic memoir called Epileptic. Like it a lot more than Blankets.
vegan peanut butter cups
Sunday, February 14, 2010
delicious garlic problem
So we bought it reluctantly. I love garlic and have no need for mildness. But it was all they had.
So I used some in the tofu scramble I made for lunch yesterday, and it was very good--I had no complaints.
Then for dinner Erik wanted red lentil dal, and I was open to that, so I made some dal using the elephant garlic thinking it would not be as good as usual but no big deal. The dal calls for 8 cloves of garlic, so that's a lot of garlic. I used two huge cloves of elephant garlic cut up so they would fit in my press.
OH MY GOD! It's the best dal I have ever tasted in my entire life! It was like some magical food I wanted to eat more and more of. And I'm pretty sure its extraordinary excellence is due to the elephant garlic. It seems to have a subtle sweetness and great depth of flavor and delicious richness.
So now I think I'm addicted to elephant garlic.
humorous true story
this one's going out to all the lovebirds out there
A little boy tried to teach us greater than, less than equations at the white board in the food room. He was super-cute. "You're just in time for the lesson!" he said when we walked in. T told us about the roller derby.
Then we went to our favorite cafe. I finished Blankets. It was very quiet there. Perfect for reading. We sat on the couch.
Yesterday we ran errands. We went to Target for a mop, and we ended up getting new headphones too. Mine were falling apart. The black spongy ear things were ripped and would fall off sometimes, and the headband had become so loose that the headphones would slip off my head. So it was time. My new ones were only seven bucks and are really great.
Today I slept in, which felt luxurious. For breakfast I ate a leftover sweet potato biscuit and some plain soy yogurt--plain is my favorite flavor because it's not too sweet. The brand of soy yogurt I like is on sale at the co-op.
And today I finally figured out how to print the new cookzine's pages. Took me a while! But then I ran out of ink. So we need to go to the office supply store.
This afternoon I'm helping P do bulletins, which is unusual for a Sunday. Tomorrow's a holiday, so we don't want to go to Berkeley. We like the parks and botanic garden to be all abandoned for us.
Well, happy Valentine's Day to all the lovebirds.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Bay Area Anarchist Book Fair, Ed Brown
Unfortunately, someone very important is coming to Sacramento that weekend--Ed Brown. Erik's planning to attend a retreat with him on Saturday, and I want to go to a talk with him Sunday night.
zine review zine
I hope to find some in a bulk bin so I can buy just a little.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Virtual Friendships & False Intimacy
When the world is conceived of as a global marketplace, every interaction can seem to be about buying and selling. People are encouraged to blur the distinction between self expression and creating a marketable image. The forms of expression supported by social networking technology are one recent example of this, but all of our communication is potentially affected by this posturing.
This morning Erik left for work at around 7:30 and I went back to sleep, slept in until 10 when I was awoken by a knock at the door--wonder what they wanted.
I have more proofreading to do today.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Frog and Toad
I loved Frog and Toad when I was a kid. Well, I still love them. One of my favorite sentences is "HEY BIRDS, HERE ARE COOKIES!" The cookie story is quoted here in this sermon.
vegan tollhouse chocolate chip cookies: baked
They are not health food by any stretch of the imagination. I used white whole wheat flour, and I guess nuts are good for you? But otherwise, a ton of Earth Balance. The recipe calls for two sticks, same as Mexican wedding cakes.
I made them small, so they're cute. They taste very, very good. They're made with ground flax seeds as the egg replacer--oh, ground flax seeds are good for you. I think I can taste the flax seeds, and maybe that's a flaw, depending? Next time I think I'll try Ener-G as the egg replacer and see how we like that.
Anyway, made a ton of cookies, and I put some in the freezer.
The Rebecca Project
Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs, and Wear Cows
"incorporating nonhuman animals into one’s body is often the most intimate and frequent contact humans have with other species."
Monday, February 08, 2010
Ideally, we would only buy new once the old got used up, but some things we like to have a continuous supply.
Anyway, looking for thread, this site came up.
My prompt scored out yesterday evening, so I am all done, but Erik got up early because his was and still is going. It's his second day in a row getting up before 4 am.
I kind of wanted to get my originals all ready and go to Berkeley today to photocopy Please Pass the Plants, but there's no way, so the soonest day we could go is Saturday.
Erik's working outside the home Tuesday through Friday. I don't know what I'll do. I finished the novel I was reading. Got plenty more out from the library, though.
Yesterday we went to our favorite park so Erik could run, and it was great to get some sun. (I haven't even peeked an eye at the manuscript P sent me to proofread.)
Sunday, February 07, 2010
waxing my own thread
Paraffin, a petroleum-based solid wax, is occasionally used, for a smoother, less sticky result. Hold the thread against the side of the block of paraffin with your finger as you pull the thread. You can usually find paraffin in the grocery store among the canning supplies, as it is used the seal the tops of jars of homemade jellies.
Anyway, we happened to have three large organic roma tomatoes on hand, so last night I used those instead of canned--once the onions and garlic were cooked, I threw the tomatoes in the onion pot, chopped up small, and cooked them for 10 minutes or so.
This was one of the best batches of red lentil dal ever, so I am happy to report that fresh tomatoes are excellent in this recipe.
Saturday, February 06, 2010
vegan tollhouse chocolate chip cookies recipe
hang in there
Anyway, I got kale chips. At the park I walked half an hour and then read. It was good. Next we plan to make sweet potato biscuits and dal.
Kids are shooting baskets outside. I'm listening to Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and trying to hang in there.
SF Zine Fest
vegan waxed thread
So then I was researching vegan waxed thread online and found nothing, and then I thought, well, I could find some vegan waxed floss and use that, but people are arguing over which floss is actually vegan, and I got overwhelmed.
So I guess I'll just use my regular cotton thread and hope the knots don't come undone. Any ideas?
Supposedly last day SAT scoring is tomorrow. SAT scoring is a weird intense thing. However, Erik maxed out his hours for the week, so he has today off.
Friday, February 05, 2010
Also in food news, the other day I forgot to poke the sweet potatoes with a fork before microwaving them, and they didn't explode.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
our favorite salad
organic very small tomatoes, sliced in half
Annie's Naturals woodstock dressing
broken up walnuts
the most meaningful job of my life
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
god hates hate
tofu scramble variation
I want to bake some sweet potato biscuits today if I have time, and there's a new recipe for pumpkin bread I want to try soon from The Joy of Vegan Baking, which I got out from the library--I have almost 30 items out from the library right now, and it's pretty ridiculous.
I was really down for a few days, but last night when Erik came home from work, we went for a walk, and I actually had things to say and thoughts about things other than my own stupid shit. I was feeling better, but then when we went to Trader Joe's I was feeling overwhelmed and had to go sit in the car while Erik paid. Do you know that scene in Labyrinth where Sarah just took a bite of the poisoned peach and she has that dream of being at a costume ball and dancing with David Bowie? And all the people in weird masks are leering at her, and she's all bewildered and panicking? That's how I felt. Only David Bowie wasn't there.
But when I woke up this morning, I felt fine, so possibly it's over. It's actually been a hard three weeks or so, extreme moods one way or another, and I'm afraid in the notes I've written to go with zines I was sending I might have said some weird things, so I hope I'm not freaking people out.
I'm going to try scoring my full three hours today, because I think I can do it, but I am so behind, there seems to no hope of catching up, and I'm worried about getting fired, but if I do get fired--well, I guess I would strive to find another bearable part time job, but if I couldn't, I would be eligible for SSI/SSDI in a year. That would not be a great idea, but it's a plan b.
I've been listening to Ghost Mice and there's a song called "Critical Hit" that's about playing D&D and keeps saying not to give up, and at first I found it annoying, but now it's kind of my theme song.
When you're deep in a dark dungeon
And the cleric's down and dying
And you've taken all the potions you had left
And you feel like you are doomed
Because the demon you set loose
Is coming after you and you can smell/hear it's breath.
And the door between you and it is pretty thin.
The wizard is all out of spells.
The fighters took a few too many hits.
This thing, it came from hell,
It seems like it can't be killed.
Don't ever give up! not all fights are won by skill,
Some are won by luck. don't ever give in!
You've gotta keep fighting until you lose or you win.
Cross your fingers roll the die.
Wait with hope for the big two-oh (20).
Cross your fingers roll the die.
Let it go. let it roll. don't give up yet, no, don't ever quit.
There's always a chance for a critical hit.
The biggest baddest beasts have easily been beat with one lucky shot.
Dragons have fell and kingdoms have been saved
By people giving everything they've got,
By people who never gave up.
By people who know just to let the dice roll and see what comes up.
No we should never ever give up.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Anyway, today I got a letter from my only penpal in Mexico. Normally I would go on facebook and tell her it has arrived, but I am a non-facebook user now. It's kind of like being an ex-smoker. I like it.
Monday, February 01, 2010
The Subconscious Art of Graffiti Removal
You know me and how I don't like movies, but I heard of this a few weeks ago and finally watched it today. It's narrated by Miranda July, and I do love her. I always have enjoyed those squares of color.
Today and tomorrow Erik's working outside the home, and I've got lists of things to do. I might not score SAT--not sure. If I want to bake anything, I need flour.